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healthcaretaker

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  1. http://www.buddhanet...dsg/payutto.htm

    In this link you can find all what you need, Science and authentic Buddhism - no antagonism.

    Wonderful.

    It could have been much better and more convincing to some people if he did it my way. I relate Science to Buddhism in their 2 most important theories:

    1) The Law of Karma - is corroborated by Newton's Law and later with Einstein's Theory of Relativity.

    2) REBIRTH - the only possible explaination on life and after death with Eintein's discovery of Energy that it cannot be created or destroyed but can be transformed.

  2. Yes, thank you.

    I understand the "banter" part well. English is not my usual language, so I googled it and got the meaning :-)

    Thanks to chat forum & you, I learnt a new word.

    I don't agree with you totally that people discussed Buddhism here for "fun". Are they really here for fun ? From everyone's contents, it don't appear so. If people discuss Buddhism here for "fun", then you offended "Buddhism". Pardon me if I got you wrong.

    What I meant on the "selfishness" part is more so for most people when they speak, not so much for the Buddha, we all know he was different and did it to get the answers on sufferings to benefit mankind, that's why he was the Buddha and we are not(yet).

    Whether a person speak for just "fun" or for the sake of "helping others"(in the case of offering answers or opinions), "selfishness" is involved.

    a) If I feel good to provide answers to others - I am selfish.

    cool.png If I enjoy the fun in my speeches or words - I am selfish

    c) If I offer charity or help others because I feel good for having done a good deed - I am selfish. Why people of a certain religion do charity only do others of the same religion ? Why some people only help those of the same race ?

    All human acts actually have some "selfishness" involved but different people have a different views over it, that makes the difference; just like different listeners take the speaker's words differently as I mentioned earlier but the speaker's words and intentions are same and unchanged.

    I do not agree with your assertion that all behavior is selfish. It seems that I have rebutted this claim repeatedly, without convincing you.

    It might be interesting for you to consider the difference between selfish behavior and the selfish desire that causes suffering. Is it selfish to bathe, or get dressed? Or to breathe? Taken further, to be generous? Is not the 8 Fold Path intended for self-improvement, and so selfish by definition, have the goal of overcoming selfish desire? It can be clearly seen, it seems to me, that selfish behavior is unavoidable, but that selfish desire is the only problem.

    I admit that the word "fun" for this forum sounds childish at first, but what I mean is adult fun, stimulating conversation about something so interesting, Buddhism. Some of the superior members of this forum are able to speak dharma-like with the ring of truth explained, and they could be considered teachers. But for the rest of us, I don't think we are teachers, we are just having a dialogue. Yes, it is selfish to enjoy this, but if there is no craving or attachment, I don't see any violation of Buddhist principals.

    Maybe we are conversing at different levels. I gather that from yr last post you are refering to "only" Buddhism. I am not. My reference to "selfisness" may not be what Buddhism meant. Whether it is selfish behaviour or selfish desire, both are act of selfishness, otherwise it won't be described as selfish. Don't you agree ?

    On your "teachers and teaching" part, I don't quite agree that others who know Buddhism more are better teachers and we are not. I have seen people who claimed to be Buddhist but knows less about the right way of life as well as Buddhism.

    Although this is forum is titled "Buddhism", let's not be so small as to confined our knowledge to Buddhism as it was 2500 years ago or as it is today. Buddhism is a way of life and in times to come when everyone understands and accept it, it will no longer be named Buddhism.

    Let's get more advanced or be more broadminded, shall we ?

    Yes, I admit I am selfish because I wish my knowledge to be known by more people as I feel happy to have contributed it.

    I agree with you that we seem to be conversing at different levels.

    I am surprised to hear that you say that you are not talking about Buddhism. After all, this is a Buddhist Forum.

    I do not consider that having a dialogue about Buddhism is "small" or not "advanced".

    I see that you consider yourself a prophet and a teacher. I don't believe in prophesy, and I do believe in humility.

    That said, I wish you well.

    You are not so unreasonable, are you ? Are you here for a "fight" with me and opt to be out when you "lost" ?

    Just because I made a little mistake by using the word "small" as a figure of speech and you are unhappy ?

    If it is because that word "small" offended you, I apologise but how about your mistakes(at least 2) of "misquoting" me ? Do you need me to highlight it to you ?

    Anyhow, thanks for the compliment of describing me as a teacher and prophet(both !!). I am flattered.

  3. I am trying to work out a way such that a non-monk can even contribute more. I am not trying to go against Buddhism, I try to be better.

    There are different stages in our lives some of us must/will experience.

    A Buddhist Monk of many years recently confided that our modern life subjects us to countless desire episodes which produce corresponding incidences of I.

    In terms of the process to Enlightenment, for most of us, a Monastic life in a forest setting might be the only way to have the environment to be able to successfully work through the four tetrads of anapanasiti.

    I know. I have been trying to find others way to achieve that without giving up other desires, but failed. I guess there is no other way and no need for further improvements in Buddhism. It's really perfect !! No wonder it's consider a way of life, and not a religion.

    Testing....B)

  4. Yes, thank you.

    I understand the "banter" part well. English is not my usual language, so I googled it and got the meaning :-)

    Thanks to chat forum & you, I learnt a new word.

    I don't agree with you totally that people discussed Buddhism here for "fun". Are they really here for fun ? From everyone's contents, it don't appear so. If people discuss Buddhism here for "fun", then you offended "Buddhism". Pardon me if I got you wrong.

    What I meant on the "selfishness" part is more so for most people when they speak, not so much for the Buddha, we all know he was different and did it to get the answers on sufferings to benefit mankind, that's why he was the Buddha and we are not(yet).

    Whether a person speak for just "fun" or for the sake of "helping others"(in the case of offering answers or opinions), "selfishness" is involved.

    a) If I feel good to provide answers to others - I am selfish.

    cool.png If I enjoy the fun in my speeches or words - I am selfish

    c) If I offer charity or help others because I feel good for having done a good deed - I am selfish. Why people of a certain religion do charity only do others of the same religion ? Why some people only help those of the same race ?

    All human acts actually have some "selfishness" involved but different people have a different views over it, that makes the difference; just like different listeners take the speaker's words differently as I mentioned earlier but the speaker's words and intentions are same and unchanged.

    I do not agree with your assertion that all behavior is selfish. It seems that I have rebutted this claim repeatedly, without convincing you.

    It might be interesting for you to consider the difference between selfish behavior and the selfish desire that causes suffering. Is it selfish to bathe, or get dressed? Or to breathe? Taken further, to be generous? Is not the 8 Fold Path intended for self-improvement, and so selfish by definition, have the goal of overcoming selfish desire? It can be clearly seen, it seems to me, that selfish behavior is unavoidable, but that selfish desire is the only problem.

    I admit that the word "fun" for this forum sounds childish at first, but what I mean is adult fun, stimulating conversation about something so interesting, Buddhism. Some of the superior members of this forum are able to speak dharma-like with the ring of truth explained, and they could be considered teachers. But for the rest of us, I don't think we are teachers, we are just having a dialogue. Yes, it is selfish to enjoy this, but if there is no craving or attachment, I don't see any violation of Buddhist principals.

    Maybe we are conversing at different levels. I gather that from yr last post you are refering to "only" Buddhism. I am not. My reference to "selfisness" may not be what Buddhism meant. Whether it is selfish behaviour or selfish desire, both are act of selfishness, otherwise it won't be described as selfish. Don't you agree ?

    On your "teachers and teaching" part, I don't quite agree that others who know Buddhism more are better teachers and we are not. I have seen people who claimed to be Buddhist but knows less about the right way of life as well as Buddhism.

    Although this is forum is titled "Buddhism", let's not be so small as to confined our knowledge to Buddhism as it was 2500 years ago or as it is today. Buddhism is a way of life and in times to come when everyone understands and accept it, it will no longer be named Buddhism.

    Let's get more advanced or be more broadminded, shall we ?

    Yes, I admit I am selfish because I wish my knowledge to be known by more people as I feel happy to have contributed it.

  5. Has anyone used www.railway.co.th ?

    I am trying to check some fares, after putting in the departure and arrival points on the top left hand corner, some train nos. and fares appear; when I further click on the "fares", the fares appear with "click here, show fees" below it. Is this not the final fare ? Further click and it showed in Thai, do I have to make my own calculations to add all the extras ?

    On the train types fee - are there 2 types of fees to add ? The train(1st 3) and the distance(below 4 types).

    I am looking at train no. 41 from Hatyai to Bangkok. Looks like that is the only train that takes less than 12 hrs which is as fast as the bus, any mistake on that ?

    Please don't advise me to travel by air which is not much more; or bus which is faster and cheaper.

  6. Welcome home and all the best wishes to you, robe or disrobed, I believe you will continue to help everyone, more so now with your children added :-)

    I hope your change is not effected at all by the Thai monks who have different opinions.

    Do stay active here.

    2 main reasons why I don't become a monk:

    a ) I don't call myself a Buddhist. It just happened our beliefs and behaviours are alike;

    b ) I am trying to work out a way such that a non-monk can even contribute more. I am not trying to go against Buddhism, I try to be better.

  7. If I may say so, it seems to me that both compassion and empathy require some judgement beyond just naked awareness. Also, how can it be denied that humans perform unselfish acts all the time without being Awakened. For example, how is an anonymous donation to a needy group selfish?

    As to friendships, in my estimation, they are observed to be based on some common interest, and is one way of making life easier for us common folks not yet awakened. Buddha didn't say much about friendship except it's better to hang around with advanced beings rather than the converse. Friendship, per se, is not an issue in Noble Truths or the Path. Friendships, like everything else in this world of samsara, have an upside and a downside.

    Just my thoughts.

    Sorry huli.

    I was being high level and simplistic.

    I do lack awareness.

    I should also have added that there are degrees of awareness/awakening.

    Donating to the needy anonymously is indeed unselfish and compassionate.

    My thoughts were with the vast majority.

    Most don't even give, preferring to waste resources on themselves in pusuit of ego inflating.

    I observe such accounts on a daily basis, and when l enquire, answers are laced with delusion, or greed.

    Most don't donate, and those who do, give such low amounts, their actions can only serve as feel good measures.

    Allow me to contribute a little on huli's part of "anonymous donation" & "Friendship not emphasized by Buddha".

    1) While an anonymous donation is not considered a selfish act, a certain "selfishness" is still there. For eg, I know a certain religion group(I won't mention which in order not to be blamed for such act) will NEVER donate to a Buddhism country or people and I don't believe they have done so anonymously. If a person did donation or charity to any party of personal choice(anonymously or not), "selfishness" is involved. If donation is done and one feels good for it, "selfishness" is involved but a lower degree. If donation is done to improves one's self karma, "selfishness" is involved.

    2) Buddha's teachings don't emphasize on "friendship". That will be a form of selfish act. Buddha's teachings is meant for all people, race or religions. That made him really GREAT. I guess most people know about this reason. If we are good to our "neighbours" or "friends" only, we are selfish or narrow. We should be good to everyone, regardless of the 3Rs - relationship, race or religion.

  8. Yes, thank you.

    I understand the "banter" part well. English is not my usual language, so I googled it and got the meaning :-)

    Thanks to chat forum & you, I learnt a new word.

    I don't agree with you totally that people discussed Buddhism here for "fun". Are they really here for fun ? From everyone's contents, it don't appear so. If people discuss Buddhism here for "fun", then you offended "Buddhism". Pardon me if I got you wrong.

    What I meant on the "selfishness" part is more so for most people when they speak, not so much for the Buddha, we all know he was different and did it to get the answers on sufferings to benefit mankind, that's why he was the Buddha and we are not(yet).

    Whether a person speak for just "fun" or for the sake of "helping others"(in the case of offering answers or opinions), "selfishness" is involved.

    a) If I feel good to provide answers to others - I am selfish.

    B) If I enjoy the fun in my speeches or words - I am selfish

    c) If I offer charity or help others because I feel good for having done a good deed - I am selfish. Why people of a certain religion do charity only do others of the same religion ? Why some people only help those of the same race ?

    All human acts actually have some "selfishness" involved but different people have a different views over it, that makes the difference; just like different listeners take the speaker's words differently as I mentioned earlier but the speaker's words and intentions are same and unchanged.

  9. huli,

    Thanks for highlighting my typo mistake.

    Your last para in your OP and my 1st reply already summed it all.

    Certainly the "speaker" care for his own before the "listener", especially so in a forum chat when the the 'speaker" is not paid to do so. Don't you think so ?

    It boils down to the fact that peole are "selfish", regardless of their background, profession, character; or any purpose in doing so, even in charity. When a speaker start to speak, he certainly care for himself first before the listener. Just like any OP starter here, won't you agree ?

    You are right about some banters in speech. Even that is a selfish act, as the speaker enjoyed it.

    There are different characters; and styles & ways in communications and speeches but as I mentioned earlier, people are selfish and it is up to the "listener" how and what to take or gain out of it depending on his own character, attitude, maturity and intelligence level.

    As for me(in a chat forum especiallyt), I seldom pay attention to the "bantering" or "offensive" part of the speech that may reflects the speeker's character. I will only accept the "usefulness" part of the speech like new knowledge, for example.

    You already written well in your OP, shall a speech be true, useful or wlecome and pleasant to the listener and you think the Buddha covered all 3 areas area. All 3 areas are related to some degrees of selfishness. The 1st is medium, the 2nd is lightest, the 3rd is the most, what do you think ?

    I think parents and teachers will will do better on the first 2(especially 1st), lawyers and estate agents on 2nd, while salesmen and businessman do better in the 3rd especially in a business talk.

    As for friends and casual chats, it depends......I made myself quite clear in post #2.

    Thank you for starting such an interesting and fresh topic. I wonder why this forum has been quiet recently. Please start more topics tongue.png

  10. Buddha said... when talking about others, mention only their good points, but when talking about ourselves mention only our bad points....

    Nowadays the reverse is often true....bragging about oneself whilst finding fault with others.

    You are right but Buddha also said nothing is permanent; and let's not forget what Buddha said is 2500 years ago, at that time, people's intelligence level is totally different. Today, people are more intelligent, quick and sharp. Sometimes, you need to hit their mind to wake them up.

    I think there is no harm in bragging as long as it don't hurt others, but then also depends on how one defines "bragging" or "hurting".

    I think "finding faults" on others is really nothing bad but good for them to improve.

    IMO when Buddha said that nothing is permanent he was referring to conditioned things, mainly physical and mental states. That does not mean that truths are impermanent. For example, the Noble Truths.

    A case can be made that people are more confused today than in the past because of the complexity of the world. In any case, it is impossible for us to know how sharp, quick, or intelligent people used to be.

    It is not a person's responsibility to "wake up" another person or to find faults with them. We are only responsible for ourselves.

    I do however agree that there is no harm to others done by bragging, it just makes a person universally disliked as self-centered.

    This I got to disagree with you. You read my message all wrong.

    I never think the Noble Truth is impermanent. I meant nothing is impermanent and this "thing" includes human's physical and mental stated as well. I think the Buddha meant that too, only that at that time, the word "evolution" don't exists yet.

    Being "nothing bad" and "good" do not mean it's a responsibility. Please don't misquote me. 2ndly(based on yours) "not a person's responsibilty" don't mean that we can't do it. Isn't it rather too selfish not to help others at all ?

    True that the world is more complex now and due to that, people also tend to be more selfish or self-centered but there are exceptions or exceptional ones.

    Being a chat forum, our words should more "helpful" or "teachful" rather than to "please".

  11. Buddha said... when talking about others, mention only their good points, but when talking about ourselves mention only our bad points....

    Nowadays the reverse is often true....bragging about oneself whilst finding fault with others.

    You are right but Buddha also said nothing is permanent; and let's not forget what Buddha said is 2500 years ago, at that time, people's intelligence level is totally different. Today, people are more intelligent, quick and sharp. Sometimes, you need to hit their mind to wake them up.

    I think there is no harm in bragging as long as it don't hurt others, but then also depends on how one defines "bragging" or "hurting".

    I think "finding faults" on others is really nothing bad but good for them to improve.

  12. OP,

    I can bet that she will accept the 200,000 baht deal eventually if you are hard on it but you have been fooled.

    If you doubt her, why would you want to pay 200,000 baht ? There are ways to test her or offer less.

    I guess it's too late for me to give any advice unless you are prepared to bvreak0ff and offend by turning on your promise with a new excuse.

    Will you want it ?

    I will save the 200k and try my luck on 100 other Thai girls with that money. At least you enjoyed 100 times even if you don't get the right girl.

  13. The OP may be asking it for someone else in 1 of his posts or for reference in case such happens, am I right, OP ?

    In this thread, do you mean that you think she:

    1)cheated on you after the 2 of you are thing; or

    2)lied to you that she was CLEAN before ?

    Test us what you think exactly now and we can help you better.

  14. First things first. Secure your assets. Remove any access she has to your bank accounts. If needed, set up a way of transferring money to support your child.

    She can apply for divorce on the grounds of desertion. That will be through the courts. It takes time and money plus there are procedures to be followed before the court will grant a divorce. It’s not as simple as her requesting a divorce and being granted one on the spot.

    The pinned topic “Thai Family Law” at the top of this forum is a good place to start. http://www.thaivisa....hai-family-law/

    Also take a look through this sub forum as there have been a couple of threads recently along these lines.

    I recommend negotiating an agreement for an uncontested divorce at the Umphur. I also recommend using a lawyer as there’s a child involved and possible property matters. An uncontested divorce is quick easy and apart from any property issues, cheap.

    Try to avoid a court divorce at all costs. It takes months, possibly a year of more with the lawyers raking in legal fees.

    Ok thanks.......

    So she cannot just walk in to a lawyers office one day the Amphur the next and paperwork granted the next.....??

    This is my ONLY fear at this time. Not concerned with the money issue at this time.

    Although I didn't state as much desertion isn't on the agenda or could she claim it is ??

    It can be proved with all reasonable doubt that she has been accessing my money (as agreed) right up to current times...

    I'm not being Paranoid but I trust very few in Thailand !!

    If there is no longer any love or trust, don't drag. The sooner you settle it(whether with her or not, legal or not) the better it is for both of you; so that both are free.

    2 unhappy people will eventually become 4 happy people.

  15. Adaptability is the primary goal. For ourselves and for our children - the ability to deal ad hoc with surprising, unpleasant or difficult situations, so we don't let our emotions rule our actions. So we learn the rules and strive to apply them, and by doing so we gradually learn where the rules don't work.

    It's true that with kids, and possibly with some adults, raising one's voice is sometimes necessary, the trick is to be mindful and not let fear, anger or other emotions limit our view of the most skilful behaviour in each situation. Maintaining a relaxed awareness, we are much more able to adapt quickly.

    Very true. One must use both the right brain and left brain together well-balanced. Unfortunately, most people are simpler-minded and tend to use their right brain while reading, listening and responding, eg, god-believing religions have new followers even today when science have proven many of their beliefs and claims wrong. If everyone use their left brain well enough, I believe there is no need for any religions, not even Buddhism.

  16. I lost all my fate in AirAsia on the day of the huge flooding in Hat Yai in Nov 2010. I had 2 tickets to HatYai and a return journey from Krabi a few days after that. On that particular morning we went to the airport to try to reschedule our journey as Hat Yai was under 1-2 metres of water, and that time it was still rising. There was no transportation between the town and the airport for almost 2 days.

    The previous day we made phonecalls to the Airasia helpline what was nothing more than an appalling experience, as we were told to fly, no problem, but to hire big trucks that can wade through the floodwaters and transports us to Hat Yai from the airport. Shocking. The staff didnt even have the clue how serious the situation was on those days.

    Then, at the airport at the Airasia desk, I had also been offered a credit refund that must be used within 3 months but did not include the second leg of our journey as it was not affected by flooding.

    The only little problem was, that I was gonna go back to Europe and had no time to fly back to validate their generous offer. I was gonna give up and about to go back to the hotel when the lady at the desk called my name and presented an offer, saying had spoken to their head office, I was allowed to change my flight out but pay the extra. I said fine, where can I fly in the south? The offer was, Trang, Krabi, Surat Thani, I liked it so I asked for the price that turned out 5000 baht for 2 persons one way after the deduction of the cost of my BKK - Hat Yai ticket. What a great offer. sad.png So I changed our tickets to Krabi, and stayed there some more days and took a van to visit the family in Hat Yai a couple of days later. And just to make me more angry, the Krabi bound flight was about 60-70 % full. They had a lot of vacant seats in it but sold the tickets for almost 3000 minus the deduction.

    And just to make the story even more interesting, the natural disaster forced the AirAsia to cancel the flights to Hat Yai for the rest of the day and the following day. I sent an e-mail to their head office as that is the only way of any enquiries, asking them why the helpline staff was so inefficient and unhelpful and and gave me silly advice about my flight and why we couldn't get any fairer options; but I am still waiting for their replies. They must be very busy handling a lof of enquiries.

    This is just one of my excellent stories with Air Asia, I wish I had written and recordered all these.

    They are simply unscrupulous. They won't reply e-mails. After 6 months, they will tell you your rights expired.

  17. Personally, if forced to choose between the 2, I prefer to speak to teach rather than to please.

    Of course, being able to achieve both together is better but then I am not going to be the next Buddha.

    Back on your OP, I think not everyone like the Buddha's words too. There are stories of him being betrayed or some don't follow his teachings.

    I believe the main reason his teachings are liked by many is because of his believable knowledge. I have followed others to church before and I think the priests or fathers are very nice people too but unfortunately what they said are simply unbelievable so I don't listen to them anymore.

    It's also up to the listener's standard and character. If the listener is an unreasonable person or a not-so-smart one to understand you, he probably don't like what you speak even if you speak correctly.

  18. 3) All refunds, regardless of your fault or theirs(flight change of more than 60 mins), NO money refund. Only credit refund which you must spend within 3 months.

    They refunded me by payment to my credit card.

    That is only if they cancel the flight or change time of more than 2 hours. For less than 2 hours change or refund of airport tax due to missed flights, they don't refund money, which I think is not fair.

  19. You are quite right, otherwise he will not be a Buddha.

    Of the 3 characteristics you mentioned, I usually always qualify for the 1st 2 but hardly the 3rd.

  20. When you cannot change or avoid others, it's best to change your own thinking.

    You cannot avoid these people unless you become a monk or nun and it's unlikely you can change them.

    You can learn to understand them better and accept their behaviour without dealing with them or being like them.

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