OP, you are completely wrong with your statement. People generally socialize within their peer group, i.e. teachers with teachers, bar mongers with bar mongers, working expat with working expat etc. Socialization for example happens within the moo baans and you will see that most closed communities exist within those moo baans.
Second point, you can't compare Chiang Mai with Pattaya. Pattaya has more expat clubs with various languages offered, has a load of English spoken information sources (radio stations, TV stations, nespapers, websites, cinemas) and is number two to western style restaurants behind Bangkok.
Third point, the expat community in Pattaya is MUCH more diverse than in Chiang Mai, specially with regards to working expats. Also, Pattaya is much bigger in size and population than CM.
I belong to the educated and moderately successful non-working expats, living in a moderately expensive moo baan. I can socialize across the street or in one of the many restaurants around my place. I can get help in any number of places, be this ThaiVisa, asking in the restaurant, in the expat clubs etc. and I always get answers and help, but we don't need to "socialize" in bowling clubs et al, my family and few close people are enough for me.
Pattaya, being almost completely expat oriented, provides most of the help and information for expats without the need for bowling clubs.