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ScottMallon

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Posts posted by ScottMallon

  1. I guess all the eager Thai language students will become proficient in half the time, and can return to their homelands that much sooner. Lucky them.

    Do I detect a hint of bitterness?

    The eager students do most of their study hours outside of class anyway. Also, the advanced learners have to do 1-on-1 because there are no group courses offered at advanced level. For my case, it changes my school fees from 108,000/year to 168,000/year (plus 10,700/year in Visa fees, plus expenses associated with the leaving country once per year).

    The result is that this makes a tourist visa a slightly more appealing option as a way to learn Thai here. On a tourist visa, I have the option to get a tutor directly without going through a school. I choose my number of class hours. I can get ones that come to my house, and the rates are cheaper than at schools that obviously need to charge an overhead.

    Right, so basically you're going to pay all this money and risk having immigration tell you to get a proper visa - that is, not a tourist visa. Tourists come to the country for a short period of time, look around, then leave. Thais are lenient, less so these days, but I wouldn't want to shell out almost $5,000 only to have an immigration official tell me I have 30 days to get a "proper visa."

  2. ^ No, I stand by my statement that you didn't read my post carefully. Not to worry, it was long. wink.png

    But, as I said quite clearly, I am not upset. Simply feeling under-respected or supported in this instance. There's too much to be happy about to be upset, no? Secondly, I am not ignorant of Thai culture with regard to naming/nicknames, and you seemed to imply that I was.

    Thank you to the people on the thread who offered constructive advice. It is much appreciated! wai.gif

    There's a lot to be happy about, yes, and thus this should be viewed and discussed as a minor issue - even though it's not.

    You're feeling under-respected for a reason and as long as you have your wife's support, I would make it very clear to grandma that you would like your daughter to be known as ________. If she doesn't respect this, then tell stop coming around. I have to say though, Fah is quite a bit better than Moo or Ouan or Porn (Ugghhh).

    • Like 1
  3. Where cultures clash...however...

    This is your child and your wife's child, not theirs. In my book, that means despite the cultural necessity to attach a nickname to the child, you should have the final say. As one of the other poster's stated, put your foot down. Personally, I'd make it a point to not bring her around if they continue to call her "Fah." It's disrespectful to disregard your wishes and your wife's.

    BTW - I have two sons. We call one by his middle name and the other by his given name. Any nicknames we have ever used have been nicknames my wife and I have agreed on.

    Again, and despite what granny thinks, she is your daughter, not hers. It's a shame they feel the need to push this on her when it's against your wishes but if you don't put your foot down now, expect more of the same in the future.

    Is it not in Thai culture that while the parents decide on the real name, the granny decides the nickname?

    Never heard this but frankly, it doesn't make a bit of difference to me. What about MY CULTURE? Doesn't my mother have a say? If granny on my side doesn't like the nickname and she wants the child nicknamed something different, then what?

    I'll make it easy. Since I'm the father - we abide by my wishes and my wife's wishes. If you like the nickname that makes it easy, otherwise, stick to your guns, politely of course.

    Fortunately, neither grandma has stuck their nose in our business. When it comes to this sort of thing, my wife and I rarely ever disagree. Not much worse than a mother-in-law pushing her wishes on to OUR child forcing my family to deal with this sort of thing.

    Start in with "This name is part of my culture - it's my father's wish" and see what granny says. If you really dislike the nickname, why should you capitulate? Where's granny's respect for your being the father? Let them do this once and my guess is it's setting a trend for decision making. Every single time you hear your daughter called this name you'll remember...you caved in.

    • Like 1
  4. It would be nice it at least one person posted a rational response, but i guess that was asking for too much

    You're young but...you'll learn...eventually.

    1. She's going off to Korea to work as a prostitute. Period. If you're okay with this, continue on.

    2. You obviously know very little about Thailand and the ways of its' women. You need to learn a little before you play the game or you're gonna get spanked.

    3. If you think with the big head as opposed to the little one, you ought to be able to see that this is not a healthy relationship.

    If the relationship is questionable, combined with the above three comments, you are not ready to deal with ANY relationship, much less this one. The answers have been given, the question is WILL YOU LISTEN? Most guys don't because they think their girl is different - or they are. You're definitely not and neither is she.

  5. Why should Thais pay the same as farangs? It's their island. There should be a fee for farangs and no fee for Thais.

    How about every other country in the world starts charging Thais more money than the locales because it's "their country?"

    I've always said, if I ever move back to the US and start a business, I'm going to make sure to charge Thais more than anyone else.

    In Laos or Indonesia, Thai people pay more than local people too, not just westerners. smile.png

    In Switzerland, local people get reduction for local transport, swimming pools, museums with their ID card.

    Lichtenstein offers free public transport for it's citizens whilst the rest has to pay.

    In the UK, people pay a fee to enter Clovelly if they are not locals and the government was even

    contemplating a yearly surcharge for non EU foreigners living in Briton of 200 GBP to access the NHS

    etc......

    So, this "double pricing" is not unique to Thailand.

    Understood, however two wrongs don't make a right.

  6. Why should Thais pay the same as farangs? It's their island. There should be a fee for farangs and no fee for Thais.

    How about every other country in the world starts charging Thais more money than the locales because it's "their country?"

    I've always said, if I ever move back to the US and start a business, I'm going to make sure to charge Thais more than anyone else.

    • Like 2
  7. may you're hanging around at the wrong places-never happened to me...

    I wouldn't call cafes, restaurants and the skytrain the wrong places, but I guess you'd call them bad right?

    There was this one time at a bar in Chiang Mai where a farang was trying the preaching angle directly to a few of us, but at least he did it directly (or rather tried to) and not 'hiding' behind his Thai missus.

    Perhaps you ought to step out from your cotton wool house?

    Perhaps you should try my approach to their preaching - GET THE <deleted> outta my face or I'm gonna crack you one. Works like a charm.

    The last thing I want is someone pushing their religion on me. However, been here 20 years and I've never had what you're talking about happen to me.

  8. 1.5 meters is hardly a large crocodile.

    Go and assist in the capture then.

    I grew up on the edge of the Everglades and dealt with alligators and American crocs fairly regularly. I would not have a problem assisting them, assuming they wanted or needed help. Obviously they don't. My statement of a 1.5 meter croc being small has nothing to do with my willingness or unwillingness to go after the thing. The article makes it seem as if a monster croc is loose and everyone needs to run for their lives which is of course, rubbish. Now going after then one in the Congo that got Hendrik Coetzee, that's a different story. I would be very, very wary of being in those waters.

  9. internet banking, easy no question asked fast.

    What do you mean by internet banking? as far as I know a foreigner can't transfer funds

    to overseas using the net without going to thru the approved channels,

    if you of a way that it can be done please PM me...

    I'm not going to PM you but I have the ability to transfer funds to the US visa Bangkok Bank's iBanking. Call up iBanking's customer service number and they should be able to set you up. Actually, if I remember correctly, you may be able to do this online. Just go to transfers and set up a new transfer. There should be something that says international....or it might just have a list of banks and depending on your country and bank, you may or may not be able to do this. I set it up years ago and use it only occasionally.

  10. Hi,
    In March this year 2014 me and my ex-Thai-GF since 4 year broke up after a fight. We have always had a passionate loving relationship. People around us was telling us that we were like teenagers. She 33 and me 45. In May we got together again and we had a wonderful time together and all felt perfect and we had no fights what so ever.
    She has a genuine good heart and has always been careful with money and never asked for any expensive toys, gold or anything.
    Betrayal
    In October this year, i got home after my usual 3 weeks a month trip to China. I had got me a new customer and wanted to celebrate that and had bought her a new 25K smartphone as she desperately needed a new phone. She asked me to install her old Skype to it. When i did, numerous messages popped up from a 41-year-old Norweigan guy who she apparently had been chatting with for a while. I did examine it further (i have never checked her phone or computer before as i'm not a jealous guy) and found that she had been chatting with him for at least 3 month and that they had met each other a few times during his 10 days holiday here in Thailand. Words in chat from both of them looked like "I miss you sooo much" I want to see you again" "thanks for the photos" "You are so beautiful" etc. And the last message was posted the day before i got back home.
    She has always been a timid and shy girl so this was really not her style. As you can understand, this relationship was game over from my side and she was kicked out. After this, she has tried really hard to make me forget this, but not asking me to take her back, but just forgive her and hate her.
    I headed back to China for work and last time i got home she used her own key after i had refused to open the door for her. She said she wanted to talk. And we talked and cried for the whole night and had sex. Next day i told her that i will never forget what she did behind my back and that she should leave, which she did.
    Cancer
    Next day i found her drunk (he never drink otherwise) we had a new fight and suddenly she told me that she was diagnosed with ovary cancer at a clinic at her home town in Issan 6 month earlier in April and that it had spread to her intestines and was untreatable according to that doctor.
    Future
    What should i do? Im fairly financially strong and could help her. She refuses though. She is asking me to forget her and absolute not to tell any of my or her friends or anyone, especially not her sister and mum. I threaten to tell her sister if she did not go to a real hospital as Pattaya Bangkok hospital for a second opinion and she accepted. And she has been there today and new samples been taken. Results will arrive within a week.
    But what about then? I love here over anything, but i still cant forget her betrayal. Her explanation is that she felt terrible cause the death sentence and that we earlier had broken up (but got together again) and that i was in China, and there was this Norwegian "friendly" person who made here feel alive again... I don't hink they had sex as she is too shy to jump in bed so quick. But that would have been easier to forgive than the words "I miss you sooo much" to him numerous times during three month.
    She never thinks or plans for the future. Almost like she knows that she is going to die in a near future. I have thought about this odd behavior since we met. She don't want to work or study, not even learn about how to help me with my thai companys administration. Her only wish is to stay home and care about home and get children. We have tried to get pregnant for more than 2 years without any results. She tried to get pregnant before with here ex-thai-bf, but it hasn't worked either.
    Im 45-years-old. I have no children, but i want. I have spent my whole life on my career but im ready both mentally and financially to get kids and build a family. She will never be able to get pregnant, nor support my future career or make one for herself. I forced myself to see, after the first horrible shock, the positive thing in this betrayal with the Norwegian, New life and new opportunities will arrice. But i feel so sad for her. Without my help she will die soon for sure...
    Thanks for reading. All comments are appreciated...
    Be strong and let her do it on her own. It's sad she's dying but she doesn't want your support and when someone betrays you like she did, she no longer is worthy of your support.
  11. What is a gift? It is an item FREELY GIVEN to someone who then owns it free and clear to do with it as they want. If it is a "gift" with strings, then it is not really a gift.

    A gift is something freely given, yes, but the distinction between your definition and mine is I give a gift for them to use — that doesn't mean it's for them to give away. It's in extremely poor taste to re-gift...but this is my only my opinion. I do however, choose who I give gifts to very carefully; mother, father, sister, wife, kids. Rarely do I gave a gift to anyone else and if I do, I'm fairly certain I have enough sense to give them a gift they won't even consider giving away.

    If they're worth giving a gift to, they're worth knowing well enough to have a decent idea of what they want or need.

  12. News flash...if you don't see them use your gifts, the chances are they don't love your gifts. They either give the gifts away or put the gifts away. Next time, give them cash and see what will happen. With cash, it would save you time and energy try to find the perfect gifts; it would also give them chance to find their favor things they want/need.

    Newsflash - call me old-fashioned but it's the thought that counts. If they give a gift away, give them NOTHING.

    • Like 1
  13. Well, here is what you are going to have to do:

    Convince every school in Thailand not to hire the guy.

    But, guess what? He is going to have a really easy time finding a job. Like falling off of a truck. The schools will be happy to hire him.

    You can scowl and complain. You can pontificate and belittle. It will not make a bit of difference. The schools, in other words the Thai people who run the schools, have decided that this guy is an asset--an asset they are willing to pay well for.

    When I say that young, good-looking people have an easy time finding a job in Thailand, I'm not stating opinion that I necessarily agree with. I'm simply stating a fact based upon a great deal of background knowledge and history. Like you, it matters little if I like it or not. But at least I'm realistic enough to understand that the situation is what it is and I'm not trying to deny reality.

    Well Bruce, being young is definitely not always a virtue. However, if I have the choice between hiring someone young, well-kept, and polite versus an old unkempt, impolite man in shorts, of course I'll choose the young candidate. Rarely is it so cut and dry though.

    As far as not convincing the schools in Thailand to not hire the guy, right you are, however, as more schools are raided and the crackdowns continue, more visa mills will close.

    Also, you make the mistake of thinking that just because this guy can find a job at some so-called English school that this means he is an asset. Immigration may think otherwise. I think otherwise.

    If a school wants to hire a guy without a degree and without a work permit, I hope immigration throws the book at the school and the teacher. Excuse me for being so righteous, but it's for the good of the kids. My dog speaks English better than most Thais and crappy English teachers, foreign or Thai, are one of the reasons why.

  14. I can honestly say that, from his few posts here, the OP comes across as an "unqualified, spoiled, punk kid" but its also true that most of the rest of you come across as bitter, angry old men.

    Right?

    Thank Buddha.

    Personally, I would like to know the school is only hiring educated teachers who are qualified to teach my kids, not some kid who feels entitled to stay in Thailand because his girlfriend has a family member in the school. It's about having decent teachers, not unqualified, spoiled, punk kids.

    If you're referring to me, I'm hardly bitter. I would, however, like to see the Thai school system hire someone qualified. Apparently this matters very little to you. Lemme guess....you teach, you have a TEFL, but no degree?

    " If you're referring to me, I'm hardly bitter." Really Scott? Notice any "likes" posted on yor comments? Sure the OP sounded a little full of himself but as you know in Thailand looks do mean a lot. Young well groomed, professional looking guy, vs young long haired back pack looking "hippie' vs Old (60+) short wearing expat looking guy---who would get the job? And he didn't ask about any help with a visa , maybe he's going to marry the G/F so will be able to stay because of marriage..

    We took our neice to her 1st day of school (not BKK) and she introduced herself to her teacher in perfect English. Teacher asked "who taught you" she said " my uncle"

    Later were told by my sister-in-law that they wanted to know if I wanted a job --reason both her teacher and Pinay aid spoke English badly so i guessed they wanted me to be like a teacher's assistant to help with pronounciation and grammar. Probably same thing OP's G/F wants him to do there just to give him something to do and extra spending money. He already mentioned he did not need cash for ticket home ect.

    And your remark to the other poster about "would you want him teaching your kids" I would let him as a TEFL teacher or teachers aid rather than a Thai or other NES who could not pronounce correctly yet was certified as a teacher.

    Well Tony, there are 7 likes and the post is now POPULAR, imagine that.

    Bottom line - the guy has no degree, is illegal, is not a teacher, and has no business teaching in a school. Your logic is so skewed it's ridiculous. Just because someone isn't vain enough to declare himself, "young, fit, and handsome," or someone else isn't drooling over their good looks, doesn't mean the other teachers are young hippies or old, short wearing expats.

    Regardless of this guy and how unqualified he is, Thai schools need real teachers. This means they need to pay real money but first, it means getting rid of all the fly by night, wanna be teachers and visa mills. In my opinion, that's what this guy probably is. Do you seriously believe he came to Thailand because he wants to teach children and make a difference in their lives? Please...wake up bucko.

    You're entitled to your opinion though, no matter how misguided and illogical it is.

    • Like 1
  15. I can honestly say that, from his few posts here, the OP comes across as an "unqualified, spoiled, punk kid" but its also true that most of the rest of you come across as bitter, angry old men.

    Right?

    And the attacks continue.

    Whats wrong with just answering the guys question and letting him make his own life decisions.

    Its not like you are this dude's mommy!

    Thank Buddha.

    Personally, I would like to know the school is only hiring educated teachers who are qualified to teach my kids, not some kid who feels entitled to stay in Thailand because his girlfriend has a family member in the school. It's about having decent teachers, not unqualified, spoiled, punk kids.

    If you're referring to me, I'm hardly bitter. I would, however, like to see the Thai school system hire someone qualified. Apparently this matters very little to you. Lemme guess....you teach, you have a TEFL, but no degree?

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