Khunmanoun
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Posts posted by Khunmanoun
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A lot of theory in this thread. In practise, from my point of view, in Thailand family ties (blood ties) are very strong, even if there is a geographical distance between people. Parents, especially mothers and sisters, will do everything to help, even give all what they have. I have never seen mothers cutting ties with bad boys. A huge percentage of Thai boys act irresponsively because of the very lax thai education, so the situation of the OP is very common. A big number of teen girls get pregnant. So if families were cutting ties for that, it would be huge in Thailand ! Almost every thai kid would be on the street.
For me, if the girl is not pregnant, forget it. No marriage, nothing. Business as usual. If the girl is pregnant, it is a totally different matter. If the kids really love each other, marriage is the best way, although it will probably not last more than 8-10 months. A pregnant girl / young mother is far less attractive. If they don't want to marry, forget it. But the OP will need to make direct arrangements with the girl family to support the kid. In such cases, a lot of boys move to a different part of the country for some time because they are not capable of bearing any responsibility whatsoever. I have not often seen any police in the middle, since Thai people hate police (for good reasons).
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Khounmanoun, I would get off the bus right here, before you have no feet to leave on . . .
Ha ha ha because some people married to Udon girls don't like to know about Udon girls reputation, you think I should turn my back and leave ? But ... this is not my opinion, it is the opinion I heard from many Thai people ... Taboo ?
No. Not that. I am not married to a Thai from any city. I have also spent some time in Udon Thani, its the closest big town to my daughter, about three hours away.
The reference to feet is rhetorical. You may wish to look it up and the reference is, as you need things s p e l l e d out. You put your foot in your mouth so often, you won't be able to walk. Because your feet will be in your mouth and its very difficult to walk like that. In case you don't know what that means, don't worry about it.
Nothing will compensate for your delusion that you are always right, until one day it proves you wrong.
And what about unnecessary aggressivity towards forum contributors ? I am just expressing my opinion, or trying to express the general opiniom I have collected from people I have talked to, doing my best to discuss in a polite way, and I do not understand at all your motivation. If someone expresses an opinion you disagree upon, please fight the idea, not the people. Generally, when a forumer goes into flaming another forumer, it is a proof of a lost point.
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Just to put the money issue in perspective :
http://thainews.prd.go.th/centerweb/newsen/NewsDetail?NT01_NewsID=WNECO5611270010005
160,000 Bahts average debt per person in Thailand is a lot, especially in the rural areas, where people make, say 60,000 a year.
In the bigger village near my place, most of the businesses make more money lending money at high rates than through their businesses.
This is probably due to the "face" and "day-to-day" and festive mentality.
A long time ago, one Thai king let the Chinese immigrants come in big numbers to deal with the problem. And today, most of the economy is in the hands of sino-thai people.
This also explains why the Thai society is so clearly cut in two parts, the middle class beeing very small.
Coming back to the OP, please be aware of all that but don't become paranoid. If you ignore the wise advices from many posts in the file you will face disappointment, but if you manage the money issues well you will be very happy in Isaan, I am sure.
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Being viewed by some people as a walking ATM is not limited to Thailand, be it Issan, Bangkok, Chang mai or where ever. You will find examples of this in any country in the world. I spent 3 years working in Brazil. I speak decent Portuguese, and truly like the people. My first girlfriend there had a good job at a bank which I dealt with. We had only been seeing each other for a couple of months before the gentle hints for money to buy something for the family or to help a sick family member started. I didn't think anything about it at first, but as time went on, I began to wake up. When I declined one time (with a sad smile and an apology) she threw a tantrum, and I threw her out. I even changed the bank my company was dealing with to avoid her. She stalked me for a couple of months before finally moving on. There a certain individuals with this mindset, be they Thai, Brazilian, American or any other country. It has been said before, set limits up front. I am happily married to a Thai woman from Bangkok. During the 4 years prior to our marriage, she never asked me for a cent. During that time, her grandfather, who raised her, died, as did her mother. I offered to send money for the funerals, and she thanked me, but said that she had money in savings to pay for the costs. Not one other member of the family offered to help her with the cost. It seems to me that her grandparents, poor as church mice, raised her to be self-sufficient. You've got to respect them for that.
Sure, but in Asia, I know a bit of Japan, Korea, China, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Singapore, and Thailand is really a special place. The way the average Thai people deal with money is totally different from the way the average chinese people do, for example. The behaviour is quite different too.
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@ Ryro88 - You stayed 4 days in Isaan, where everything is dirt cheap and you really believe village people spent close to 5000 on you ? Well, I have doubts.
A good meal cost 50 baths, how much is benzine now ? A night in an hotel cost 400-500 baths.
I see you know as much about Isaan as I do about Outer Mongolia. For a start everything is not "dirt cheap". Last weekend 4 of us went for meal and it cost 1200 baht and that wasn't being extravagant. Included 1 beer 2 bottles of water and a Sprite. Petrol is 39 baht a litre and yes you can get a night in a hotel for 500 baht but that's not the average by any means.
As I've lived in Isaan for over 7 years I'm qualified to comment.
Your other posts seem to be just as well informed!
Well, I am married to a Khorat girl for 17 years and I think I know Esaan quite well, but if you say yours is longer than mine you must be right ;-)
1- Hotel. I totally disagree. Last time we made a long trip from Khorat to Vientiane, visiting Nong Khai, Khon Kaen etc and we paid 450-550 Baths, maybe 600 Baths once, for nice rooms with air con all the way. Even if I had wanted I am not sure I would have found more expensive rooms.
2- Food. I totally disagree. In every big shopping mall in Thailand you have a food court and you eat very well for 30-50 Baths including drinks. Even in Bangkok I eat for that price, for example 7th floor of Platinum. OK, if you want the fresh mango with sticky rice you have to fork another 60-100 Baths.
You say you are qualified to comment, fine, congratulations for self-appointing yourself, but are you hopping from Pizza Hut to Mac Donald or are you eating like normal Thai people ? This is the point ! You can spend huge sums of money in Thailand if you want. You can easily pay 8000 a night in Samui (two times the monthly salary of the maid in one night). You can go to a very expensive resort in Krabi ...
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Khounmanoun, I would get off the bus right here, before you have no feet to leave on . . .
Ha ha ha because some people married to Udon girls don't like to know about Udon girls reputation, you think I should turn my back and leave ? But ... this is not my opinion, it is the opinion I heard from many Thai people ... Taboo ?
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Concerning the warm welcome you have received, I got the same treatment 17 years ago, and I am still very warmly received in the village. They are certainly sincere. But please separate money from that. You do not need to PAY for that, it is free. Certainly, if something happens to a family member, not helping at all would get you a bad reputation, but this is perfecly understandable. Do not build any house, deal with big amounts of money before a couple of years. Take your time !
Just so people can see you are talking in riddles......and by your other posts i would imagine your first love was from Udon Thani lol!
Anyway carry on old bean.
Sincere hahaha ...your cover is blown!
I have had one only love in Thailand and she is my wife, hopefully for life. And she is from Khorat, not Udon.
Do not build any house before a couple of years. Take your time ! PLease read the full sentence.
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Thanks for clearing that up .....so you did build a house with your money.........but advised others not to do! why?
Where did you see I gave such an advice ? I said the OP gave too much money during his first visit imho, and I adviced he waited a couple of years before doing anything big with his money over there.
I have nothing against building a house there. To be honest, when I did mine, I spent waaay too much because I did not know anything about construction. Now if I had to build a new house I would do it for 2-3 times less.
The problem in Thailand is that you can find many cheap workers (200-300 baths per day) but it is very hard to find good and cheap construction managers. But I am disgressing. My point is that when you have some experience of Thailand, everything magically cost 2-3 times less.
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Hey guys, a nice reading on Udon Thani here :
http://www.thailovelines.com/Frontinfo/udon-thani-marry-a-thai-woman.html
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This is a fact that Udon Thani girls have a bad reputation in Thailand, my friend. You accept it or not, it will not change. This does not mean that the girls from other parts are good ...
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I just can't see where you are coming from here the family spent quite a few thousand baht on myself. Petrol.national park fees.food.beer the list goes on 5000 was a good will gesture on my part which my girlfriend refused twice before I slipped it in the window of the car when we left to head Into the airport.
Mate, you did the right thing. If I stayed at a friends house (as I do when I go home) for a week or two at a time, I would not feel comfortable unless I bought them a gift of some substantial value, or took them out for at least several high cost meals. They save me $1,000 a week in accommodation and car costs - if I spend $400 on them I'm still winning. Arguably the cost to them is negligible, but that is definitely a moot point.
So why should it be any different here. The difference is, what do you buy a poor family from Isaan to show your gratitude? A nice artwork to hang on the wall, tickets to the latest show and a night on the town in BKK, a gift voucher at Central Festival? Yeah right, they could really use all of those couldn't they.
Giving cash was the best solution - they refused as they are bound to do, you insisted as you were socially obliged to do....regardless of what country you're in. They showed you tremendous hospitality and you repaid them in the most practical sense - a cash gift. The amount was IMHO appropriate. 5k is not loose change for a Falang, and it's not a huge fortune for a Thai farmer.
As to the future etc.....well it hasn't happened yet. You'll have to wait and see what it brings and how you handle each and every situation. Try your best to make sure the outcome/s are what you want and are happy with. No doubt you will be tested, as you would be tested in any relationship with in-laws in your own country.
Arm yourself with as much information as you can (good and bad opinions should all be welcomed), put them through the grinder and form your own conclusions. As different things happen, refine your thinking and reform your opinion, ad infinitum. It ain't all good, and it ain't all bad either. Learn from your mistakes, don't make the same mistake twice, remain in control.
$1000 dollars a week in Esaan ? Are you kidding ? This is 32,000 Baths, please explain how you can spend that in rural Thailand in a week. You can stay more than two months in an hotel in Khorat for that money.
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Hello, a lot of members do not know Thailand at all and can hardly speak two words of Thai. Having stayed years in Pattaya does not give one the right to have a authorized opinion on everything Thai -
)Ryro88, imho you made a big mistake. The amount of money you gave to them was the equivalent of one month salary for someone in the country. The simple fact that they took the money is an indication of Thai people bad mentality versus money. They should have refused the money, simply put. It was OK to give them some money, for example pay for the car benzine. And give a small gift on departure. But 5000 baths, certainly not.
The message you have given to them is that you are in fact a walking ATM. Mgjackson69 is perfectly right. Next step is most probably to try to get more and more from you. Not that they are bad people. But because they are Thai and because of the strange relation between Thai and money. Do not show your money, refuse loans, put clear barriers, this is my advice (I am happily married for 17 years with an isaan girl).
I think your misses really really loves you don't you?
Did you say never buy a house?....did you? or are you just living surviving in hers?
The Thai psychology you pretend to know is embarrassing really,i think you need to get out more pal.
Well, my thai wife gave me 4 kids and we built a house for our (long) holidays, but we are the only ones living in it. I have travelled a lot in Asia and in Thailand in particular, I don't know if it is enough for you ;-)))
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@ Ozyjon. Ha ha ha, how funny. Did someone notice that Isaan was the poorest part of the country ? Did you know that people aged down to 30 years old have sometimes eaten soil to calm their hunger ? You can see the problem with money, you can try to deal with it, but it is not forbidden to try to understand where it is coming from. Once you understand it is much easier.
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@ajarnmarc - Isaan is big, and I have seen many problems with farangs but also a great number of beautiful stories. I would be careful to make a generality. Except for Udon Thani girls, who have a very bad reputation, certainly because of the US base.
You can't be serious. They have a bad reputation because of the US base? C'mon. and read:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Udorn_Royal_Thai_Air_Force_Base
Ever thought about all the other airports and "friendship bridges"??
When I ask Thai people about the bad reputation of Udon Thani girls, they point that Udon Thani reputation is due to the US base which was there during the vietnam war.
And Pattaya, same story, Sattahip base.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/25/world/asia/25iht-thai.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
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@ Ryro88 - You stayed 4 days in Isaan, where everything is dirt cheap and you really believe village people spent close to 5000 on you ? Well, I have doubts.
A good meal cost 50 baths, how much is benzine now ? A night in an hotel cost 400-500 baths.
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Hello, a lot of members do not know Thailand at all and can hardly speak two words of Thai. Having stayed years in Pattaya does not give one the right to have a authorized opinion on everything Thai -
)Ryro88, imho you made a big mistake. The amount of money you gave to them was the equivalent of one month salary for someone in the country. The simple fact that they took the money is an indication of Thai people bad mentality versus money. They should have refused the money, simply put. It was OK to give them some money, for example pay for the car benzine. And give a small gift on departure. But 5000 baths, certainly not.
The message you have given to them is that you are in fact a walking ATM. Mgjackson69 is perfectly right. Next step is most probably to try to get more and more from you. Not that they are bad people. But because they are Thai and because of the strange relation between Thai and money. Do not show your money, refuse loans, put clear barriers, this is my advice (I am happily married for 17 years with an isaan girl).
Right so that makes you a Dr of Thai Sociology right?
That only goes to prove like most academics, you are only aware of your tiny sector of reality.
What utter small minded rubbish.
Thais and their strange relationship with money?
Perhaps you would feel more comfortable on Wall Street? Or even in Nigeria?
Well, I think I know Thailand quite well, my friend, and I speak the langage, which is a great help to talk and understand the people. Yes, Thai people have a relation with money which is very strange for most foreigners from the western world. Most of them (in the 2 square meters of area I know) have no idea about sparing money. They make money, they spend it the same day. They all borrow more than they can. How many plots of land in my village have been taken by the bank ! They see a farang around, they try to get some money because they are always broke and they have a lot of ideas to make good and funny usage of the said money ...
This beeing said, I love Thailand !
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@ajarnmarc - Isaan is big, and I have seen many problems with farangs but also a great number of beautiful stories. I would be careful to make a generality. Except for Udon Thani girls, who have a very bad reputation, certainly because of the US base.
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Concerning the warm welcome you have received, I got the same treatment 17 years ago, and I am still very warmly received in the village. They are certainly sincere. But please separate money from that. You do not need to PAY for that, it is free. Certainly, if something happens to a family member, not helping at all would get you a bad reputation, but this is perfecly understandable. Do not build any house, deal with big amounts of money before a couple of years. Take your time !
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Hello, a lot of members do not know Thailand at all and can hardly speak two words of Thai. Having stayed years in Pattaya does not give one the right to have a authorized opinion on everything Thai -
)Ryro88, imho you made a big mistake. The amount of money you gave to them was the equivalent of one month salary for someone in the country. The simple fact that they took the money is an indication of Thai people bad mentality versus money. They should have refused the money, simply put. It was OK to give them some money, for example pay for the car benzine. And give a small gift on departure. But 5000 baths, certainly not.
The message you have given to them is that you are in fact a walking ATM. Mgjackson69 is perfectly right. Next step is most probably to try to get more and more from you. Not that they are bad people. But because they are Thai and because of the strange relation between Thai and money. Do not show your money, refuse loans, put clear barriers, this is my advice (I am happily married for 17 years with an isaan girl).
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And I think that we are just at the beginning of a market change. The Chinese phones have just reached liftoff. Oppo, Xiaomi, Zopo, Faea, who had heard of those brands before 2013 ? I'm pretty sure they are going to make a big buzz in the near future.
Sent from my Find 5 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app
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Sure, but first do you need that, second does it justify such a crazy price, third why don't you wait for the bunch of mediatek octocores coming out of China end of the year ? The note 3 is just plain unreasonable. You will not find a rational argument, I think.
Sent from my Find 5 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app
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Just root your S4 and flash CyanogenMod ... Then you will have Android 4.3 today and have daily upgrades if you wish ...
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Now the chinese smartphones have gorilla glass, IPS screen from Sharp, APN from Sony. The only point may be the Mediatek processor, which is slower (Antutu 13,000 vs 20,000 for a quad core @1,5Ghz and 30,000 for the Note 3). But not all of them use the Mediatek processor, for example the Oppo Find 5, which has a Antutu score of 20,000. This is visible when catching a FHD movie or playing some games. But not in normal day to day usage. And the best chinese phones coming end 2013 will be based on the new Mediatek octacore, which wil solve the speed issue. Samsung must sleep badly at night. Prices are going to freefall in 2014, I think.
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Why on earth would you buy a phone at this price (same as a computer) when on the other hand you have excellent chinese phones now, at almost half of that ? Of course the Note 3 is a great phone. But waaay too expensive !
The chinese phones have made an impressive progress during the last 12 months. Look at Xiaomi, Oppo, Zopo, Faea etc. Times are changing.
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Teenage Thai son by marrage causing many problems
in Family and Children
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Edit : my wife strongly disagrees with me. She says that even if the girl is not pregnant, the girl's family will come and rightfully ask for compensation. This is not law but tradition, and if you don't comply you find yourself in a conflict, and in Thailand conflicts can quiclky lead to violence, even extreme violence. The boy's family is supposed to pay some money so that the girl's familly does not loose face. This can be anything between10,000 or 100,000 or 1 million ... I suppose this is the price for supposedly lost virginity ;-)). I have asked my wife what happens if the girl has several boyfriends. She says the one she likes the more will the the winner ... The conclusion is clear, we have to give bromide to our boys in Thailand.