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Posts posted by spectrum

  1. Discussions about negative experiences in Thailand often seem to play out along these same lines.

    I would suggest that, beyond giving out "positive vibes", how comfortable a person may or may not feel in another culture will vary according to a variety of influences, both internal and external.

    For all of us, living in a new culture is an adaptation. If we are highly motivated to adapt, we will.

    If there's no particular motivation to adapt, my guess is that personal values and personality traits will be more likely to play a part in our response to our surroundings. For instance, a highly idealistic person will find certain aspects of life in BKK more abrasive, unsettling and stressful than a person with a personality/value system which places less emphasis on idealism. (Please note, this has nothing to do with value judgements. We all have roughly measurable personality traits, and idealism is one of those. We also import our own culturally instilled beliefs, also roughly measurable.)

    Personally, I can find BKK interesting for a day or two, but then the harshness of it all will begin to get to me. I can understand where Siam Suzi is writing from. I can see that she isn't "venting" about "a bad day" but is telling us her overall response to her environment, having lived there for some time.

  2. So what is the newest topic on TV how big is your dick? Can we send pics to compare it ? Keep your private love live to your self and let us get on with some thing more serious :o

    Agreed. It's not as if a web search would not turn up expert advice, rather than that of the TV lay persons*, willing as we are to opine on all subjects under the sun :D.

    *Sheryl and a few others being notable exceptions, of course.

    Surely the act of pre sex should be enough to get a female aroused enough for her natural fluids to be sufficient. If not, then I think you're doing something wrong.

    Not necessarily, by any means. A range of medical conditions can prevent sufficient natural lubrication, at any age. Speak to your partner/s.

  3. If considering Botox, I suggest you read a very interesting article on the topic. Here's a paragraph or so to get you interested:

    (The researcher)showed two groups of women, one group injected with a Botox-like drug and one group not, a number of different faces, scanned their brains and recorded the activity the faces triggered. Haslinger's experiment found that the groups showed no difference when it came to sad faces, but the injected women were unable to make an angry face. And their corresponding brain scans showed reduced activity in the region for processing emotions as well as weaker connections to the area that actually triggers the feelings that go with emotions. Their inability to make an angry face meant they were less able not only to recognise anger, but to feel it.

    So it's not just empathy for others that would be compromised when facial muscles are paralysed: our own emotions and feelings are in some way diminished.

    For the full story, go to


  4. You can download a couple different versions of the "Great Compassion Mantra" which are very pleasant & seem to be well known/popular as well.


    Thanks, voracious. (Interesting user name in a Buddhist forum :o)

    You are all helping me put together some of the pieces of this "puzzle". I have matched some sections on my recordings to transliterations now. There seem to be a multitude of variations, though -- is that right ? I wish I had more time to spend on this.

    Interesting and always enjoy listening even when I don't understand ...

  5. Many experts in the field - with the notable exception of the fundamentalist Christian lobby - believe it is possible for pornography to be part of a couple's healthy sex life. However, there are a lot of pre-conditions for it to work - and it's certainly not for everybody.

    "It needs to be open, honest and mutual use of porn rather than secretive," sociologist Michael Flood says. "Secondly, the material needs to be as respectful and 'non-toxic' as it can be. There is plenty of porn out there that is really hostile to and callous towards women, treating them just as a series of orifices. For the men or women using that material it has a pretty toxic impact on their attitude towards sex, towards women and towards themselves."

    Therapist Ash Rehn agrees porn may have a place for some people. Some clients have told him pornography has transformed their relationship by making it easier for partners to talk about their needs in bed.

    "It depends how people approach it in relationships and whether it is a point of discussion or a point of secrecy," he says. "Sometimes in therapeutic sessions with individuals and couples we can come to a new understanding of the place of pornography in their relationship."

    The quote is from a longer article (theage.com.au/news/lifeandstyle/lifematters/the-porn-ultimatum/2009/03/04/1235842454092.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap2) which I found quite interesting though rather incomplete. (I'd like to have heard in more detail from people or families affected, either positively or negatively, as well as more from the researchers.)

  6. Cabinet members to showcase works upcountry

    By The Nation

    The government will, for the next two weeks, dispatch Cabinet members upcountry to showcase policies and job performance and its awareness campaign is meant to divert attention from distractions stirred up by ex-premier Thaksin Shinawatra. "The prime minister has suggested for every minister to fan out upcountry in order to heed grievances and keep in touch with the people in all 76 provinces," PM's Office Minister Satit Wongnongtaey said Tuesday.

    Abhisit Vejjajiva will set an example by his visit to Lop Buri, Satit said, adding that for the coming weekend, the 36 Cabinet members are expected to travel to 36 provinces.

    The Public Relations Department has been tasked to publicise the activities of Cabinet members while visiting the respective provinces, he said.

    Ministers will focus on their job as a way to counter the distractions from the pro-Thaksin camp, he said.

    "By reaching out to remote areas, villagers will realise they have not been neglected," he said.

    Among the planned trips include Deputy Prime Minister Korbsak Sabhavasu to Mae Hong Son and Chon Buri and Defence Minister Prawit Wongsuwan to Chiang Mai, he said.

    The ministers are determined to visit the rural areas regardless of the opposition movement spearheaded by the red shirts, he said.

    Hope things won't get too interesting as a result ...

    Will the limpidity of our air receive comment? Who drew the shortest straws?

  7. Firstly, I am not sure which are the most commonly used mantras here. I understand that one is known as the Morning Prayer, or similar, in English. Is this the same as the Triple Gems? Another commonly used one seems to be a mantra for health, "Om namo ...". Others?

    I have some recordings on CD to which I like to listen. I would like to begin to explore the meanings a little more than I am currently able, as well as to "hear" the words more easily.

    Can any of you help me find some (free) recordings of the more common mantras/prayers which are accompanied by transliterated Pali/Thai and translation into English?

    Thank you for any suggestions.

  8. Drug-resistant malaria threatens to spread

    The emergence of new drug resistant malaria at the Thai-Cambodian border could "seriously undermine" efforts to bring the disease under control, the World Health Organisation said Wednesday.

    "Surveillance systems and research studies... are providing new evidence that parasites resistant to artemisinin have emerged along the border between Cambodia and Thailand where workers walk for miles every day to clear forests," said the WHO in a statement.

    "The risk that they may be infected with a drug-resistant form of malaria could set back recent successes to control the disease," it said.

    New artemisinin-based medication has been largely credited in recent years for increasing recovery rates from the mosquito-transmitted disease that kills one million people a year.

    It was regarded as a replacement for older drugs that were fast becoming useless in several areas of the world as the malaria parasite developed resistance to them.

    "If we do not put a stop to the drug-resistant malaria situation that has been documented in the Thai-Cambodian border, it could spread rapidly to neighbouring countries and threaten our efforts to control this deadly disease," said WHO Assistant Director-General Hiroki Nakatani.

    The WHO said it had obtained a $22.5 million grant from the Gates Foundation to find ways of containing the resistant strains of malaria.

    Strains of malaria resistant to drugs such as mefloquine and sulfadoxine-pyrimethamine also emerged several years ago at the Thai-Cambodian border.

    By: AFP

    Published: 26/02/2009 at 05:04 AM Geneva

  9. Red-shirts: We're more than Thaksin stooges



    Published on February 22, 2009

    The prevailing belief that all red-shirt supporters of the pro-Thaksin Democratic Alliance Against Dictatorship (DAAD) are an under-educated mob paid by the ousted former-premier-turned-convicted fugitive ignores the fact that a small but growing number of red-shirts are very well educated and worldly. And they may bring new life to the movement beyond the issue of whether the group merely fights for Thaksin.

    Meet James, a fictitious name for one brain behind the network of well-educated red-shirts. When The Nation met James yesterday, this middle-aged Thai who spent much of his adult life in the US didn't even bother wearing red. He argued that his network was made up of many cells and at least 400 well-educated people who are fairly well off and willing to fight for democracy.

    "We're not snobbish: we do reach out to the provincial people and maintain a network in Chiang Mai, Phetchabun, Udon [Thani], Korat and Phuket," he said.

    James is a former international media analyst and boasted of knowing people high up in the US, Australia and even Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva himself. He's also in charge of the red-shirts' "external relations" with the rest of the world.

    c'td at http://www.nationmultimedia.com/2009/02/22...cs_30096284.php

  10. "The reason Issan nannies are hired is identical to the reason western men prefer those fun loving 4th grade educated Thai bar girls to their attitudinal western ones. Issan ladies hve 'traditional values' adhere to gender roles, they are just born to be loving nurturing mommies! I think it's a total power trip and need to exploit under the guise of benevolence, 'oh well we're giving Putaporn such a great opportunity to learn about America here in Thailand'. Don't be offended everyone exploits in their own way when they can. Only in this case it is not frowned upon or seen as taboo. Sir Farangy and his wife just find it so adorable to have a non confrontational, docile Issan slave at their beck and call. Suzie Wong meets Mary Poppins? "

    Well said, wasabi, though your interpretation may (deliberately) not be quite complete :o.

    So far as children in bi-lingual families go, I think the jury may still be out. I think that having each parent (or other guardian/s) consistently using one language with the child is still considered best. The fewer languages/dialects the better, in general, but so far as I know, early exposure to two languages is considered entirely possible and, indeed. good, in terms of opening new neural pathways. Observe your child closely, to see how they are dealing with it all. Judge accordingly.

    The bi-culturalism is where the greatest difficulties may arise. I'd say both parents need to be sufficiently present (and in sufficient agreement) for the child to establish values that sit well with him/her and are not in too much conflict with their environment. That may not always be easy, given some of the outright contradictions between certain highly-regarded values in "Western" and Thai/Asian cultures.

  11. Aside from that it's not much different than any other place for me, I get up early in the morning, get my daughter ready for school kiss my wife and baby good bye, drop my daughter off at school, go to work 8:00-4:00 pick my daughter up at school, go home have dinner, watch TV and spend some family time together.

    Interesting observations.

    In some ways, might the comments about the pleasures of "life in CM" not to some extent (perhaps to a large extent?) be about freedom from work and family responsibilities, and the sometimes more appreciative attitude to life in general that age can bring?

  12. Perhaps I ought to know better than to ask such a question in the CM Forum :o .

    However, it was a genuine question and I was hoping for some genuine responses. A month or so away at this time of year might be fun and not drastically expensive.

    (Does Private Health Insurance cover lung cancer if you live in an area known to have a high incidence?).

    I don't know the South of Thailand or its coastal areas very well. Have only ever spent a few weeks at resorts on Samui. I understand that people won't be climbing over eachother to give away their favourite unspoilt locations, but a hint or two would be appreciated.

    How about Malaysia? Cambodia?

    Perhaps I should be asking this question in a different section of the forum?

  13. The point or points --- if I ever get to one or more, I guess --- is to ask if what you like best about Chiang Mai is Chiang Mai or is what you like best about Chiang Mai the "comfort zone" you have created comprising the elements you have imported? Then you might ask what the import of the changes that result might be?

    I think we (most expats) live in a "fantasy zone".

    We like both the 'hamburger factor" and the contrast with the more frenetic pace of the countries we have left behind; the "otherness", the charm of the old city and the mountains, but know little of the daily reality of the locals, in all their variety, other than superficially.

    I do like "the rhythm", too.

    I am told that the roads to CMU were bordered with rice paddies, just a few decades ago. This is usually noted with some regret. Our (expat) presence is not considered an unmitigatedly good one.

  14. a bad pattern of meeting bad people

    rrrrrg, again, i am not saying they are bad people!!!!!

    Girlx, you sound like someone who either defines her type so rigidly and unreasonably that it is impossible to fulfill, anywhere, anytime (which is usually done out of fear of intimacy)

    yeah i think that might be it :o- like i said, i am very militant about my values etc... and i put a lot of expectations on the person i am with. but i would prefer to be alone or just have flings than to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't value the same things i do. perhaps that will change in the future, who knows.

    oh, i should add though, i did not have that problem with my western boyfriends. we broke up for very different reasons than those i had for breaking up with thai guys.

    I would say, "stick to your principles", girlx. You're clearly very intelligent and it is no sin to be uncompromising.

    (In fact, I am sometimes amazed by the bizarre behaviour of non-Asian women mimicking what they think is expected by their Thai "partners". The Thai "partners" often seem equally bewildered.)

    I have held fast to my principles and it has proven worthwhile. I simply could not have a partner whose values were not in accord with mine. Those values include attitudes to women. Some men do abhor the attitudes they are sold.

    Flexibility is a good trait, but not to the point where you allow deeply considered values to be compromised.

  15. in the hooker capitol of arguably the world you are worried about him looking at porn on the net? be glad he is just looking and not experiencing....

    I believe the problem here is about communication.

    If one partner dislikes another's actions, I think they ought to address it with their partner.

    Above all, good communication is what makes or breaks a relationship.

  16. well sorry that it came across that way... that's not what i mean at all. what i may have implied is that your husband, being Thai, probably does have some of those traits, but that you are able to accept those things about him and live in harmony. whereas, i cannot. not because i hate Thai guys or Thai culture, but because i am pretty militant about my principles, which are very very western. i could see a Thai guy coming to New York and trying to date a western girl, and running into a lot of the same problems. what it boils down to is how much you are willing to compromise.

    Well said, girlx.

    I agree with your comments, wholeheartedly.

    I believe you took particular care not to suggest your comments applied to all Thai men/people.

  17. think porn movies have a lot to answer for. There isn't a massive Thai porn industry (by all accounts) and most of the porn seems to come from Japan or the west...ergo all Japanese girls and Western girls are obviously porn stars. Though your man speaks good english, sounds like he hasn't hung around with westerners much otherwise he would have seen that that is a pretty silly statement to make.

    Agreed. Also agree that some behaviour of (foreign) women on holiday may support that impression.

    Also agree with girlx's comments. She has made it clear that these are generalizations based on her own, quite lengthy experince in the region. They echo my own. There are numerous objective studies on cultural values which would support her views. Sometimes I find that the defensive "anti-generalization of any kind" posts here can work to disallow genuine comment.

    Kat, as usual, has made incisive comments.

    To some extent, I have to say that the OP may indeed have a somewhat naive understanding of the ways of the Asian male mind. In many cases, it is almost *ipso facto* that you should expect the Asian male's culture to lead, and yours to follow.

    Why did this Thai man qualify his comment thus? My first thought was, in fact, not so much about culturally ingrained ideas about non-Thai women but about the possibilty of past experience/s with non-Asian women.

    Wish you luck, OP, but it's very much another world you may be joining. If I were you, I'd remove myself from the situation for a while in order to re-assess.

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