fangless

A paper we cannot mention states that Chiang Mai is on the list; The 41 provinces where all entertainment venues - bars, pubs, clubs and karaoke bars - will be closed are: Bangkok Ayutthaya Buri Ram Chachoengsao Chaiyaphum Chanthaburi Chiang Mai

I was thinking it was all a bit pointless but then I have a very steep learning curve if I am to get the top! Will they have a summit to discuss the new scales?

Was it a <deleted> or just a pair of t&ts? But then maybe nobody had the balls to take part!

Never let the truth spoil a good joke, but thanks for the link. I had read it before but until you posted I had forgotten the connection!

To be fair she may not have heard of the very recent name change from Transferwise to Wise!

The police car indicated for the motorist to pull up. "Did you realise, sir, you were doing 55mph in a 30mph area?" he said, pulling out his notebook. "May I have your name please?" The quick thinking English motorist answered "Vladimrish Malenovichsebenatrokia Salkonovichiski." "OK, well, just don't do it again," replied the officer, closing his book and walking away.

The ambitious city type lived for his work, nothing else mattered. Every evening and all weekend he would bring papers home to work on. Then one day he left some important papers at home and, in a panic, rushed home to get them. As he was passing his spare room, he caught sight of his wife and his boss in bed together. Later that day he mentioned what he had seen to a colleague. "Why, that's appalling, are you going back tomorrow to try and catch them at it?" "Good gracious, no, it was lucky he didn't see me this time."

The pompous farm inspector was on his annual tour of the county and had arrived at Farmer Giles' place. "So how many sheep do you have?" he asked. "I don't know," replied the farmer, "every time I try to count them, I fall asleep."

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in an endearing lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?" Crouching down, the shop assistant asks, "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby like that one over there?" The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and replies quietly, "I don't fink my pyfon really givth a thit, mithter."

"Look at this!" exclaimed the angry husband to his blonde wife. "The bank has returned the cheque you wrote last week marked "refer to drawer"." "Oh, great," she replied. "I wonder what I'll spend it on next week in the furniture store."

Over a few pints of beer at the local, two men were so engrossed in conversation that they didn't notice the time. Suddenly last orders were called and the first man cursed out loud. "<deleted>! That's me for the cold-shoulder treatment, I promised the wife I'd be home early." He looked glumly into his pint and continued, "I just can't win. Whenever I go out I make sure none of the doors squeak, I oil the garden gate, I move anything I might trip over in the dark and then when I get home, I take my shoes off before going upstairs, undress in the bathroom and slip very qu