[Worst Joke Ever 2024]

3 minutes ago, fangless said:

As a chiropractor he was probably looking at too many floppy disks.

Did you spell the last word correctly?

[Diary of a farang in Isaan]

37 minutes ago, bannork said:

From 1974- 78 I lived on Ashley Road at 127, almost opposite the Black and White cafe. Hungry one day, I walked into the cafe and ordered beans on toast. Funny, I thought, everyone's black, but I didn't think anything more of it, in Hull I had never seen a black face and as a kid I lived in Nigeria so I wasn't fazed being the only white. Time went by, 15 minutes, half an hour, fifty minutes and nothing came. I got the picture and walked out. My first lesson in racism.

Perhaps they couldn't understand your Yorkshire accent.

[Worst Joke Ever 2024]

3 minutes ago, fangless said:

Was that the one that got everyone's back up?

I don't think he was involved in data recovery.

[BAAC - online?]

Does the Bank for Agriculture and Agricultural Cooperatives have online banking does anyone know?

 

[Thai country mouse and British town mouse - East and West can get along!]

4 minutes ago, TPI said:

What? "<deleted>" would have to be one of the most used expletives in the English language! In Oz they even have an award winning car advert that used the word "<deleted>!" exclusively! 

What a brilliant advert!

Thanks for posting the video.

[Word Association (2021)]

gloves

[Word Association (2021)]

grouse

[Discount on PEA power bill - got one :)]

8 minutes ago, AlfHuy said:

He works as a consultant at the "Ministry of Colour".

Not the Immigration department running an alien clampdown?

[Discount on PEA power bill - got one :)]

3 minutes ago, Crossy said:

 

Logic and deduction (so I expect to be proven incorrect before lunch time).

 

We are definitely PEA and I know where Jas21 lives, he is definitely MEA. A rather small sample size i know ???? 

Oh I dunno. Going by recent government surveys  I think that's about right. ????

[Discount on PEA power bill - got one :)]

8 minutes ago, Crossy said:

 

Orange pre-print on the bill = MEA

Purple pre-print on the bill = PEA

 

Maybe, I'm sure someone will come along with an exception ???? 

OK.

I see ours are purple. ExpatOilWorker's bill is orange.

 

I've got to ask. How come you know about the colours?

 

 

[Authorities Extend Closure of Schools in Bangkok and 3 other Provinces]

47 minutes ago, ikke1959 said:

{snipped}

There has to be a clear policy. The Education minister is in charge and she has to make to clear decisions, not a bit of this and that. or let other people decide instead of her.

'clear policy. The Education minister'   That's obviously today's oxymoron.

[Discount on PEA power bill - got one :)]

1 hour ago, Crossy said:

No idea why the difference in bill format. We are PEA by about 10km, MEA serves only Bangkok, Nonthaburi, and Samut Prakan we are in Pathum Thani.

Perhaps it's the other poster who comes under MEA, as you've just clarified you don't?

 

Oddly enough, since my post, our electric bill has just arrived. We're in Udon, so PEA.

I notice ours is exactly the same format as yours Crossy.

 

I'm getting pedantic now. Top-right of your image: "A Version 5.9.999#1"

I'm guessing that could be the software version for the system producing the bills?

Ours has the same version number.

[Thai country mouse and British town mouse - East and West can get along!]

57 minutes ago, rooster59 said:

I told them later not to be silly buggers and that being two faced was important when it came to religion.

I see as part of the news team you're exempt the auto-censor.

That's a bit of a <deleted>! See my point?

 

[Authorities Extend Closure of Schools in Bangkok and 3 other Provinces]

44 minutes ago, Jonathan Fairfield said:

The Center for COVID-19 Situation Administration (CCSA) has extended the closure of schools in Bangkok, Nonthaburi, Pathum Thani and Samut Prakan to control COVID-19. The Education Ministry plans to start the new school term on June 14th.

When I read that, I thought it meant the schools in the aforementioned provinces were planning to open on June 14th.

 

Further down the article it says

47 minutes ago, Jonathan Fairfield said:

The other 56 provinces are orange zones and their local schools can reopen.

without mentioned a date.

 

I was panicking as I thought my wife's niece (in Udon) should be starting school earlier than the 14th, despite already being told the opening date had been postponed from May 17th, to June 1st, then to June 14th.

 

I have to assume it must mean June 14th is the date for everywhere outside of the four provinces initially mentioned.

It seems the article has not been written clearly.

[Discount on PEA power bill - got one :)]

I'm a latecomer to this thread,

I had trouble following Crossy's discount as detailed on his bill. Then I realised it only lists the discount in units, not in Baht.

 

I noticed ExpatOilWorker posted his bill. That has the discount listed in units and the value in Baht, which is then also listed in the summary, showing the discount as a credit.

That seems a lot clearer way of doing it.

 

I wonder why Crossy appears to have more 'vague' bill?

I wonder if perhaps the detailed bill is PEA, whereas Crossy in Bangkok must be under the MEA?

[Word Association (2021)]

man

[Word Association (2021)]

positons

[Word Association (2021)]

cross

[Sweat-sniffer dogs make Thai debut as coronavirus detectors]

44 minutes ago, Rookiescot said:

 

Thank God for that.

I had visions of having to stand in a queue at the airport while a dog sniffed my butt.

If you pay extra, they'll probably let him.

[Compensation for Thais who die or sustain disabilities due to state provided COVID-19 vaccinations]

2 minutes ago, fangless said:

But would they have a leg to stand on or would the insurance company claim it was all armless mistake?

I think you'd better hop it. You're gonna be out on a limb with that one.

[Sweat-sniffer dogs make Thai debut as coronavirus detectors]

1 hour ago, Emdog said:

Should be better than those bomb detectors they bought back when. At least most dogs actually have functioning sniffers

Forget the GT200!

Now we have the Labrador Sniff-O-Matic. Low fuel consumption too.

[Choosing Your TVF User Name]

5 minutes ago, sawadee1947 said:

Well, Radar501, it seems you got a lucky number with 501.

However I hope you didn't need to have 501 attempts to find a girl? ????

Well he didn't seem to get lucky in the 256 episodes of Mash.

[Compensation for Thais who die or sustain disabilities due to state provided COVID-19 vaccinations]

3 minutes ago, Justgrazing said:

 

Loss of a limb .! Jesus is there battery acid or Aliens blood or something equally destructive in it .. 

Loss of a limb. That's just pure carelessness surely?

I can see the insurance claim form now:

"I put it down on the table for five minutes, and when I came back, there it was - gone."

[Sweat-sniffer dogs make Thai debut as coronavirus detectors]

9 hours ago, webfact said:

Sweat-sniffer dogs

Sweaty sniffer dogs? Or sniffy sweater dogs?

[Sweat-sniffer dogs make Thai debut as coronavirus detectors]

13 minutes ago, Justgrazing said:

 

Yea but what if you don't perspire ..

and are these containers cleaned after holding a sample .. 

And how is the sample collected ? 

Cotton wool ? Bud's ? bit of old rag ? 

Another twizzle idea that is more likely to slow things down than speed it up ..

'Bud's'?  Does that mean you'll be given a can of larger to drink in order to produce a sample?