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ravip

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Everything posted by ravip

  1. A verbal-fight between husband and wife *WIFE* _I wrote your name on sand,_ _it got washed..._ _I wrote your name in air,_ _it was blown away..._ _Then, I wrote your name in my heart & got a Heart Attack!_ 🙄 *HUSBAND* _God saw me hungry,_ _he created pizza._ _He saw me thirsty,_ _he created Pepsi._ _He saw me in the dark,_ _he created light._ _He saw me without problems, he created YOU!_ 😏 *WIFE* _Twinkle twinkle little star._ _You should know what you are._ _And once you know what you are,_ _Mental hospital is not so far!_ 🤨 *HUSBAND* _The rain makes all things beautiful._ _The grass and flowers too._ _If rain makes all things beautiful,_ _Why doesn't it rain on you?_ 🙄 *WIFE* _Roses are red; Violets are blue;_ _Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo._ 😠 *Husband* _Don't feel so angry_ _you will find me there too_ _Not in a cage but laughing at you!_ 🥴
  2. - [🦜 ] I think I am becoming a social vegan….*I am avoiding meets.* - [🦜] I accidentally sprayed my Axe deodorant in my mouth. Now when I talk, I have a weird *axe scent*. - [🦜] I am thinking of having my ashes stored in a glass urn. *Remains to be seen* - [🦜] What do you call a bedpan in Russia? A *Poo-tin* - [🦜] 6:30 is the best time on the clock. *Hands down.* - [🦜] What does a house wear? *Address* - [🦜] My brother has been trying to make my neighbour wear his hearing aid. *He just won’t listen*
  3. Thank you very much. Got one from Vodafone the next day. 🙏
  4. Absolutely disappointed. Great. A couple of dollars would not break the camels back. Shall take the most convenient.
  5. Jennifer, a manager at a local Lidl store, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.* The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?' The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning. 'That's very good!' replied Jennifer. 'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man. 'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.' 'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed.' She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply. 'Well, out at my dad's property, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'. Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. 'It 's hard to beat the speed of light,' she said. Turning to Wally, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question. Old Wally replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHOEA.' 'WHAT !?' said Jennifer, stunned by the response. 'Oh sure', said Wally. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already sh## myself...' Wally is now working at a Lidl near you!
  6. You can also download and install LibreOffice - a free alternative to MS Office.
  7. Did you ever leave Thailand at all? Anyway, lovely excuse to 'save face' . OK. We believe you!
  8. From where can "we" find people to carry out this "Independent" Investigation?
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