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ravip

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    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    Quote of the Day
    The late Dr. Adrian Rogers (1931-2005) offered the following observation several years ago and it bears poignant significance today:
    You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the rich out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply the wealth by dividing it.
    Adrian Rogers
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    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    A verbal-fight between  husband and wife

                 *WIFE*
    _I wrote your name on sand,_
    _it got washed..._
    _I wrote your name in air,_
    _it was blown away..._
    _Then, I wrote your name in my heart & got a Heart Attack!_ 🙄

              *HUSBAND*
    _God saw me hungry,_
    _he created pizza._
    _He saw me thirsty,_
    _he created Pepsi._
    _He saw me in the dark,_
    _he created light._
    _He saw me without problems, he created YOU!_ 😏

                     *WIFE*
    _Twinkle twinkle little star._
    _You should know what you are._
    _And once you know what you are,_
    _Mental hospital is not so far!_ 🤨 

                 *HUSBAND*
    _The rain makes all things beautiful._
    _The grass and flowers too._
    _If rain makes all things beautiful,_
    _Why doesn't it rain on you?_ 🙄

                   *WIFE* 
    _Roses are red; Violets are blue;_
    _Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo._ 😠
                                   
                *Husband*
    _Don't feel so angry_
    _you will find me there too_
    _Not in a cage but laughing at you!_ 🥴

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    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

     

    - [🦜 ] I think I am becoming a social vegan….*I am avoiding meets.* 


    - [🦜] I accidentally sprayed my Axe deodorant in my mouth. Now when I talk, I have a weird *axe scent*. 


    - [🦜] I am thinking of having my ashes stored in a glass urn. *Remains to be seen*

    - [🦜] What do you call a bedpan in Russia? A *Poo-tin*

    - [🦜] 6:30 is the best time on the clock. *Hands down.* 

    - [🦜] What does a house wear? *Address*

    - [🦜] My brother has been trying to make my neighbour wear his hearing aid. *He just won’t listen*

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    Worst Joke Ever 2024

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    Jennifer, a manager at a local Lidl store, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.*
     
    The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'
     
    The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
     
    'That's very good!' replied Jennifer. 'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man.
     
    'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'
     
    'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed.'
     
    She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
     
    'Well, out at my dad's property, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.
     
    Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. 'It 's hard to beat the speed of light,' she said.
     
    Turning to Wally, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.
     
    Old Wally replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHOEA.'
     
    'WHAT !?' said Jennifer, stunned by the response.
     
    'Oh sure', said Wally. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already sh## myself...'
     
    Wally is now working at a Lidl near you!

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