Do you tell your Thai wife/girlfriend the truth about going to bars, playing with girls, etc.?

[yohambi]

5 hours ago, scorecard said:

 

'Speak for yourself'. Well said.

 

Perhaps many of these men are in relationships with bar girsl / ex bar girls and It seems to me that these men have no knowledge or understanding that 99% of Thai women aren't bar girls and have never been bar girls.

 

These men also seen to think that all Thai girls / women are 'OK' about their husbands / boyfriends playing around. That's just not true.

 

Further from the OP it seems some believe if they tell their wife or girlfriend they play around then it's all OK.

 

It's OK because it's Thailand and it's all different is bullshxx.

 

I wonder how these men would react / what their attitudes would be to  their wives / girlfriends going to bars to play around with other men?

 

Or would these men say 'yes it's OK if you tell me'?

 

Get a life, get some morals, lift your respect for women and for yourself. 

 

Maybe the OP is a troll post

Thai women cheat on their husbands more then any where in the world. except africa. so maybe they should tell you. what they are up too.

[lucjoker]

I have the solution for you,

tell me where your wife lives, and i will tell her what your question is  .....

You will have a clear answer the same day .....

 

[JLCrab]

One comment was the wife said you can only go with other women who are prettier than she is so I guess that's just a matter of how much that limits the available field.

[elliss]

4 minutes ago, lucjoker said:

I have the solution for you,

tell me where your wife lives, and i will tell her what your question is  .....

You will have a clear answer the same day .....

 

   In  the  village,  for a few days , again.

[i claudius]

I only go to the bar about once a week , all the afternoon guys go home to the wife , as do i ,she even comes there with me sometimes as she knows most of my friends wives .  and they sometimes come there as well

[Nokawou]

Very clear understanding right from the beginning NO playing around, she does it I leave, I do it she leaves, no questions no discussion.

[Orton Rd]

seems like you can take the punter out of the bar, but not the bar out of the punter. 

[OneMoreFarang]

I started this thread because I know lots of guys do this. A good example is a friend who was single for years and played around with bar girls. After years he decided he wants to live in a steady partnership with a loving wife. He found a loving wife, married her, and they are together since more than 5 years and seem to be happy together. But he never stopped the bar girls. Maybe once a week he goes out and has hot sex in lots of ways his wife wouldn't want to do. At least officially his wife does not know about this and because she is a "normal woman" with a normal job she never goes even near a gogo bar and no bar girl will every tell her.

I write this as an example to explain what this is about. There are just too many sexy girls in Thailand to ignore them. I know the example is old but its like having home made food every day and something exotic once a week. Only home made is boring after a while, and only exotic is also not a good solution. With food that's easy to understand. I think with sex it's similar. Many men know it and understand it but many women don't (want to ) understand it.

It is entirely possible to love the wife and have sex with a service provider without love. It's different.

 

Some asked if I would accept it from my wife: It seems she is not interested in sex with anybody else so I never really had the situation. I told her once if you want to do it do it so I don't find out and don't tell me. That's what I think. She never told me and I never found out. I guess she never had sex with someone else. But if she had and I don't know then it does not hurt and is no problem.

 

I guess sometime in the future I will have a new relationship. And the way I know myself it will be a pretty sexy girl who I love and I only want to be with her. But maybe when I am with her for a year or two or three life will get normal like in almost (?) any relationship. And then maybe I want to have some hot sex with a bar girl. I could pretend that will never happen but looking around at all the others in long term relationships it will almost certainly happen at some stage...

[Shiver]

Bar girls are of zero interest to me, and she knows that.  Also I've always said I would never tell her a lie.  That said...

 

There was one time she was AWOL for quite some time and uncontactable.  I didn't know why.  After several months I had a bit of a fling with someone, I think we met 4 or 5 times, the last 3 ending up in the bedroom.

 

When she did return (by which time I knew exactly what had happened, and it was nothing to do with a relationship, but hanging out with the wrong friends and making some unbelievably stupid decisions) we'd been back together for a couple of months and she asked me as we were going to a restaurant if I'd had another girl while she was away.  I said "I've always said I won't tell you a lie, are you sure you want me to answer that?".  She said yes, so I said yes I had.  She asked who (I figured she already knew exactly who) and I told her.  She asked me a few other questions about condoms, what she meant to me etc.  It was just a passing thing and of little significance.

 

She didn't like it, but then there was nothing she could do, as I considered myself single at  the time, not knowing if I'd ever see her again, and it was her that had vanished not me.  It was a rather quiet meal at the restaurant, but by later that night it was getting back to normal, and she's never said a word about it ever since.

I think she wanted to know if there was a threat on the horizon, and if someone else was getting her (my) assets.

 

If I was going to have a Mia noi (can't imagine that I would be interested in more headaches, but never say never), then she would know about it up front.  I did mention that to her once when she was down on me for doing nothing wrong at all (she drifts like that sometimes and I have to point her back straight on the road), and I said, perhaps I should get someone else on the side.  She didn't like that, but said "No problem, as long as I have security:.  Next day I was pondering that and had a <deleted> moment.  Why if someone were to cause a problem in my life would I keep them in my life and give them security when there's a second woman willing to do everything she does anyhow, she'd be talking herself out of a job!  I haven't brought that up, but one day... well that's for another day.

 

[craftyhen]

i'm allowed a bargirl once in a while if it's not in the same province, otherwise something about "cut off cock"

[Elkski]

I interesting.   But this is socialedia do I won't comment

[Blue Muton]

3 hours ago, Andycoops said:

Quack, quack 

 

3 hours ago, nikmar said:

i like that my penis is not in the digestive tract of a duck!

Quite. Especially pertinent when your wife has a duck farm, as mine does!

[yohambi]

44 minutes ago, hyku1147 said:

You could lose your penis:

 

Feeding the Ducks

Several news reports indicate that Thailand may lead the world in penis slashings, often over disputes about the common custom of men having a second wife. The act is colloquially referred to as "feeding the ducks" because that is apparently a common way of getting rid of the evidence.

The second wife was jealous of the affection the husband gave to the first wife. She spoke often of feeding the ducks. The woman severed her husbands penis in the night. The ducks looked well fed.

#penis mutilation#bobbit#penis#mutilation#penisectomy

by ember33 July 15, 2011

I had to cut my wifes vagina off, And feed to our buffalo. She fooled around alot!

[bazza73]

7 hours ago, wwest5829 said:

555 No problem with this old man (hey! snow on the roof but still fire in the belly!). My outlook? One Woman at time is enough of a challenge.

Completely agree. Messing around with multiple relationships is like playing with matches in a powder magazine.

A lot of falangs don't understand it's not just about the GF/wife herself. It's about face, and the financial support she is getting which gives her bragging rights in her family. And in some cases helps her family, which is everything to a Thai woman. Imperil that at your peril.

[bri1guy]

Telling your wife or girlfriend the truth is always a bad idea.  If they are jealous it is normal & human nature so better to not know everything.   I have many friends who told there girlfriend or wife that they has a encounter or 2 & it never helped a relationship once!  

 

[jacko45k]

We have the old 'gays in the military' approach, don't ask, don't tell. Don't make it all too apparent or rub her face in it, come home at night.  Keep her in money......

[MadMuhammad]

14 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It's funny to read all the comments from guys who pretend they would never ever do such thing. Are your wives checking all your comments?

I’m not sure why you would find it humorous lol.

My feeling is that it actually reflects what is actually happening with many Thai/foreign relationships. While playing around may have been accepted in the past or it may be an accepted part of Thai ‘culture’ (btw which I think is bs, makes up a very small percentage of the population but is repeated often to soften the guilt or to justify ones actions) why wouldn’t we be monogamous and build a solid relationship? What, because you don’t/can’t control yourself and justify philandering as ‘TIT’? 

I’d be interested to know what demographic the woman that accept infidelity come from ie: are they ex-bargirls (or current) or not, educated or not, where they come from etc.

 

btw I still head out drinking to bars, buy some drinks for girls etc, but that’s where it ends. No ST, no exchange of details to stay in touch etc 

 

*note* my girlfriend has made a point of telling me she’d never check my phone, snoop my messages or internet use as she has no reason to distrust me.

The day I break that trust things would most definitely change.

 

[StevieAus]

19 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Many of us are in a relationship with a Thai woman and at the same time we go out to bars, have drinks with the boys, buy some drinks for some girls, and maybe we do with these girls a lot more than just having drinks. Should we tell the wife/girlfriend what we do?

Some people say we should always tell the truth but I am not so sure that makes sense in relationships with Thai women. Many Thai wives know that men in general like to play with sexy (bar) girls. Often the men just like to have some fun and maybe a BJ or an hour of sex and that’s it. Then they go home to the loving wife and the men know such entertainment has normally nothing to do with love. But this can obviously become a problem when the wife finds out and wants to know her name and why you did it and if you love the other one and if this was the first time and all these annoying questions.  How do you answer?

I ask this because I am just at the end of a failed relationship and at some stage I will have a new relationship and probably at some stage I will buy another girl a drink or two. Until now I pretended I never touched another girl and everything was fine until my gf found out and she told me I should have told her the truth. But I am not so sure she would have liked to hear the truth. (That was not the main reason for the end of that relationship but it obviously didn’t help.)

What do you do? Do you tell her? What do you tell her?

Personally I think the best we can hope for is that the wife understands that men want to have fun from time to time and just ignores it and does not ask awkward questions. There might be some wives who except reality and can even talk about it. But until now I don’t think I ever met such a woman.

Obviously there is the solution to never play with any other girl but many of us want to have a relation and a little bit of fun on the side…

My idea is the limit this thread to relationships of farang men with Thai gf/wife and short time entertainment on the side. That is already difficult enough.

Please don't assume that others do as you do that is go out and buy drinks for girls in bars etc

I certainly don't and neither do any of my six or so Falang friends

Perhaps it's because we are happily married and don't need that sort of entertainment, or maybe  I am old fashioned and being married means respecting  my wife.

May I suggest that if that has been your practice in the past it could be one of the reasons for you having problems with your marriage.

 

 

[Blue Muton]

56 minutes ago, StevieAus said:

Please don't assume that others do as you do that is go out and buy drinks for girls in bars etc

I certainly don't and neither do any of my six or so Falang friends

Perhaps it's because we are happily married and don't need that sort of entertainment, or maybe  I am old fashioned and being married means respecting  my wife.

May I suggest that if that has been your practice in the past it could be one of the reasons for you having problems with your marriage.

 

 

Nailed it.

 

[4MyEgo]

41 minutes ago, StevieAus said:

Please don't assume that others do as you do that is go out and buy drinks for girls in bars etc

I certainly don't and neither do any of my six or so Falang friends

Perhaps it's because we are happily married and don't need that sort of entertainment, or maybe  I am old fashioned and being married means respecting  my wife.

May I suggest that if that has been your practice in the past it could be one of the reasons for you having problems with your marriage.

 

 

Its all a matter of what the couple accept in "their" marriage, it might not suit you to go out and by girls drinks or sleep around with another female because of your belief's based on "respecting your wife", which in my opinion is your opinion, because respect takes many forms, e.g. respect your wife enough to man up and fess, honey, I have always had the urge to farrrk females, even when I am with you, i.e. I want to do to them, what I do to you, but the difference is, I don't love them, its an urge to have, a craving to eat, and when I have eaten, I feel full, or sick because I ate to much.

 

Respect is being truthful, love is the feeling you have for your partner, sex is something we all crave as human's, personally we still have great sex after 10 years marriage and in our opinion, there is nothing wrong with me or her having sex with someone else, i.e. that's all it is, "sex", my wife is not insecure that I am going to leave her for another woman, and I am not insecure that she is going to leave me for another man, she knows me, and I know her, and when I say that she knows me, and I know her, we means what we say, we have no lies, everything is upfront, however, I am not one of these guys who needs to get out and blow his load 24/7, when out with the boys on a trip to Phuket or Pattaya @ 6 monthly intervals, if I feel I can handle putting one under the sheets, I will, sometimes I go without, its just a craving, like it is for food, sex shouldn't have anything to do with it being sacred in marriage.

 

If people want to be bound by what a book with rules says, up to them, I am not going to judge them, I do what I feel is normal, i.e. have sex with other female outside of my marriage every now and again, (not enough).

 

Ever wondered why so many marriages have failed, hmm, could it have to do with the majority of those married people sleeping behind their partners backs, so why not be upfront about it, if your partner feels secure with you and you feel secure with her, then there shouldn't be a problem, but most don't feel secure enough because they live in the confines of the way a marriage should be, based on yiatta yiatta yiatta, up to you, we are happily married and I have my cake and eat it too, happy happy happy.

[4MyEgo]

18 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It is well known that lots of Thai men have mia nois. This includes lots of prominent men, i.e. politicians, and I am sure these Thai men are not married with ex-bar-girls. I am sure many of the wives of these men with mia nois know about them and, for whatever reason, accept the situation. As far as I know mia nois are not acceptable in "the west" so there is a clear difference between here and somewhere else.

So if lots of Thai men get away with mia nois why should this not somehow work with farangs?

As mentioned in my reply, I have my cake and eat it too, and my wife accepts that, actually, to throw it in all the too gooders out there, she actually encourages me too, go figure !!!

 

But as for a mistress, I think that's stretching it a bit, one wife, one love, "short time mia moi's" as she puts it, is ok, and I have to agree, couldn't see myself with a mia noi, it would be too crowed, unless the Mrs wanted to join in again 555 

[OneMoreFarang]

I find it interesting that some people want to convince the rest of us that we should only have sex with our wife. Why do you read this thread at all? Maybe just start a new topic "Why we are such good men and why you should follow our lifestyle". I wonder who wants to read that. Lots of relationships end at some point and it's only sometimes about sex with someone else. The concept of a life long relationship i.e. for >50 years and sex with only one partner might work for some people but obviously not for all of us. We should all enjoy our lives in the way we like it and not in the way someone else thinks we should.

[Techno Viking]

I bring em home and share with the wife, sometimes she goes out and brings one home for me.

[OneMoreFarang]

14 minutes ago, Techno Viking said:

I bring em home and share with the wife, sometimes she goes out and brings one home for me.

Sounds wonderful but somehow I am not convinced you tell us the truth. Just in case you tell the truth how did you get to this stage. Did she bring a beautiful girl home and suggested you share her?

[Techno Viking]

Just now, OneMoreFarang said:

Sounds wonderful but somehow I am not convinced you tell us the truth. Just in case you tell the truth how did you get to this stage. Did she bring a beautiful girl home and suggested you share her?

She was bisexual when we first met and yes, it was she who brought up the idea initially.

[scorecard]

5 minutes ago, Techno Viking said:

She was bisexual when we first met and yes, it was she who brought up the idea initially.

 

I'm aware of a Thai man, bisexual who is married  to a Thai lady who quite likes threesomes (2M 1F), so quite often the Thai man brings his bf (farang) who is willing to participate but he doesn't like to touch women. Been like this for years.

 

How do I know? I worked with the farang for years and he was quite open to discuss / liked to discuss his gayness etc., with some colleagues

[eddie61]

What is the point of commenting on this? There will be PC prudes and Mongers out there.......

Do what hangs right.....for you and the relationship you cannot avoid!

 

[Jip99]

No

[OneMoreFarang]

17 minutes ago, eddie61 said:

What is the point of commenting on this? There will be PC prudes and Mongers out there.......

Do what hangs right.....for you and the relationship you cannot avoid!

 

I think this is a good example about the point of commenting on this:

 

18 hours ago, bri1guy said:

Telling your wife or girlfriend the truth is always a bad idea.  If they are jealous it is normal & human nature so better to not know everything.   I have many friends who told there girlfriend or wife that they has a encounter or 2 & it never helped a relationship once!  

It seems for some people it works and for others telling the truth did not work out. I think it's always interesting to hear and read experiences from other people.

[StevieAus]

12 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

Its all a matter of what the couple accept in "their" marriage, it might not suit you to go out and by girls drinks or sleep around with another female because of your belief's based on "respecting your wife", which in my opinion is your opinion, because respect takes many forms, e.g. respect your wife enough to man up and fess, honey, I have always had the urge to farrrk females, even when I am with you, i.e. I want to do to them, what I do to you, but the difference is, I don't love them, its an urge to have, a craving to eat, and when I have eaten, I feel full, or sick because I ate to much.

 

Respect is being truthful, love is the feeling you have for your partner, sex is something we all crave as human's, personally we still have great sex after 10 years marriage and in our opinion, there is nothing wrong with me or her having sex with someone else, i.e. that's all it is, "sex", my wife is not insecure that I am going to leave her for another woman, and I am not insecure that she is going to leave me for another man, she knows me, and I know her, and when I say that she knows me, and I know her, we means what we say, we have no lies, everything is upfront, however, I am not one of these guys who needs to get out and blow his load 24/7, when out with the boys on a trip to Phuket or Pattaya @ 6 monthly intervals, if I feel I can handle putting one under the sheets, I will, sometimes I go without, its just a craving, like it is for food, sex shouldn't have anything to do with it being sacred in marriage.

 

If people want to be bound by what a book with rules says, up to them, I am not going to judge them, I do what I feel is normal, i.e. have sex with other female outside of my marriage every now and again, (not enough).

 

Ever wondered why so many marriages have failed, hmm, could it have to do with the majority of those married people sleeping behind their partners backs, so why not be upfront about it, if your partner feels secure with you and you feel secure with her, then there shouldn't be a problem, but most don't feel secure enough because they live in the confines of the way a marriage should be, based on yiatta yiatta yiatta, up to you, we are happily married and I have my cake and eat it too, happy happy happy.

Each to their own but not for us thanks and yiatta yiatta yiatta to you too whatever that means