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BANGKOK 22 February 2019 15:24

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Birdman

The blues, wife seems to be gone

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because she prefers to stay in Europe, while I am glued to work on Samui. Married to this very beautiful, smart Thai woman since 13 years. She now is fully integrated and connected to this 'vegan, natural and cultural Western way of life', which she won't give up for her life with me before for 11 years at the beach hut. Very depressing.

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In hindsight, sometimes it's not a good idea to take the lady to Europe. But like I said, all in hindsight.


Some Thai-Ladies never fully integrate. Others integrate quickly. It's those that eventually start to dwell on things like "Well, Hubby is basically an OK guy. But do I NEED him still? Once such thoughts start to emerge, there may be trouble ahead.


Can you "unglue" yourself from your job in Thailand, take a job back home? If not, you and I know what is likely to happen.
Good luck. Cheers.


PS: I took my Ex-wife to my home country. In hindsight: I shoulden't have. 

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I don't think taking a Thai girl back is a good idea. The main reason is there are loads of guys back home, younger, better looking and maybe more money. If it isn't true love then they may get a better offer

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True. Once they migrate and integrate with western culture, they will neither be subserviant nor in awe of the farang anymore. Besides, they dont need older guys or retired pensioners.

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I also took my ex-wife back to UK. Bad move. In hindsight I never should have. 

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I took my wife back home when we first married, 26 years ago.  The other Thai women back then were mostly ex-bar girls ("whores!" in my wife's words), and they just assumed my wife was too.  So she got to hear all their dastardly schemes.  

 

The basic premise for the ex-BGs was 'get permanent residency with the one that brought me here, then ditch him ASAP for one younger / wealthier / bigger dick'.  

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I am not trying to be cynical or wishing to sound negative.....but since coming to Thailand 17 years ago I have come to believe that to a great degree ...foreign men and Thai ladies use each other as a means to achieveing what they percieve to be "a better life and a dream fulfilled one".   I have also come to believe that, in itself, that is ok.....As long as they both become aware and wake up to this fact (not in every case obviously).

  I have accepted this fact (for myself only) and have mentally prepared myself for the day " she who must be obeyed" might wish for a better life than the one I provide. I am totally at ease and secure in myself as a result.......in fact...so much so....that I actually encourage her to move on if this situation ever arises in her life.

    The fact that I live in the present as much as I possibly can,.... like ...one day at a time....makes all this much easier as as a principle  to live by.

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9 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

I don't think taking a Thai girl back is a good idea. The main reason is there are loads of guys back home, younger, better looking and maybe more money. If it isn't true love then they may get a better offer

most of these thai ladies are only with these old farts cos they have no other choice.

i see the body language of these ladies and the old guy cant or dont want to see it. its sad.

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1 hour ago, catman20 said:

most of these thai ladies are only with these old farts cos they have no other choice.

i see the body language of these ladies and the old guy cant or dont want to see it. its sad.

Whereas they are with you for your good looks, personality and charm?:clap2:

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18 hours ago, Birdman said:

She now is fully integrated and connected to this 'vegan, natural and cultural Western way of life'

At least she has become a vegan , so that is positive !

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8 minutes ago, giddyup said:

Whereas they are with you for your good looks, personality and charm?:clap2:

YES!!

 

but it also helps if you have money. but im also well a wear if a lady is not interested in me and would not embarrass myself like i see many farangs do here :clap2:

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60y old fa-rang feels in paradise with a 25 y old Thai lady AND 25 y old Thai lady feels in paradise with 60 y old rich fa-rang .

if one of the conditions change.......example 1    25 y old thai lady changes in a fat ,lazy,frigide sofa decoration .............fa-rangs paradise is gone and the relation wont last.

example 2 ...60 year fa-rang starts being a cheap Charly ( because he never was rich nor famous) starts criticizing this nice lady, has "a black heart"......well here we go again ,lady will easily find another option........

So dont change the conditions yourself and hope she wont change them , and you have a good chance .Dont trust on love , you never loved a 60+ lady when you were 25 y old ,so why would she be different? A 60+ old very rich lady might have a chance because of her money ,but surely not out of love.

 

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Just now, catman20 said:

YES!!

 

but it also helps if you have money. but im also well a wear if a lady is not interested in me and would not embarrass myself like i see many farangs do here,

 What difference does it make to you? Do you think someone with  head like a robber's dog like Trump would have a hottie like Melania if it wasn't for his money? Does he care? I doubt it.

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12 minutes ago, BuaBS said:

At least she has become a vegan , so that is positive !

A cart full of freshly grilled moo ping and that's out the window in 3 seconds 

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Taking someone from their homeland (especially this one) is a recipe for disaster. Too many variables and they are too embedded in their culture. For me,  I would hate to see my wife "integrated". In fact,  if I had a Thai who was dying to leave Thailand I would dump her. 

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