SoulWater Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 As always expecting the good the bad and the ugly responses here :) I need to work on the computer sometimes for my company in the UK and the misses gets a bit bored hanging around the condo. Recently she has started hanging around with a friend in a girly bar which I don't really mind but miffs me a little as I would like to be in there too! She still expects a 'salary' from me etc but just told her outright - no more salary from farang until you get a normal job. I have told her I am not finishing with her but as part of a social experiment I want to see how this works out - i.e will I have a misses next week. I am not struggling for cash so not worried about the money but its the principle - anyone been through a similar situation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Friend in a girly bar says it all.... Gravitational pull.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 28 minutes ago, pgrahmm said: Friend in a girly bar says it all.... Gravitational pull.... Funny. So the OP is trying to save his ex-BG GF from the life. Many have tried.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peterw42 Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Do you want a salaried employee or a Girlfriend ? Employees get a salary and may change jobs on a whim. The social experiment is really only testing the loyalty of an employee. Maybe if you framed the whole thing as a GF you are willing to support etc, but you want her to contribute and see the results. "Get a job or the salary stops", yes you wont have a missus next week. "You are my GF and I want to take care of you, but I would like you to get a job, contribute etc and you may have a missus next week, even one with a job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Sounds like you are on track to be looking for a new GF. Next time make it clear from start you only pay for what you benefit from ie rent food, household bills etc, but she doesn't get anything in the way of an "allowance", and if she wants her own money she has to earn it herself. I paid all household expenses and the ex went out to work, but I ended up giving her money for MIL funeral which I came to regret, as I never got that substantial "loan" back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spermwhale Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 Hanging out in a girlie bar. That should be your cue to exit stage left. Get a quality girl cuz your girl is trashy if that's where she wants to spend her time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberfarang Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 What does the OP mean by Misses? If he`s paying her a salary then she`s a rent a wife/girlfriend/female companion. If this is a proper relationship then it should be 50/50 both pulling their weight and building a future together. Why shouldn`t she get a job? There has to be something fundamentally wrong with guys that have to pay women to be their girlfriends. Men get the women they deserve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trianglechoke Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 I'd leave................ But in the past I have been lonely enough to have tried the old save her routine. Up to you as they say. Refusing money is a sure fire way for the GF to hear 'I don't love you enough to take care of you' But I am often wrong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OmarZaid Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 1 hour ago, spermwhale said: Hanging out in a girlie bar. That should be your cue to exit stage left. Get a quality girl cuz your girl is trashy if that's where she wants to spend her time. Amen! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony125 Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 1 hour ago, cyberfarang said: What does the OP mean by Misses? If he`s paying her a salary then she`s a rent a wife/girlfriend/female companion. If this is a proper relationship then it should be 50/50 both pulling their weight and building a future together. Why shouldn`t she get a job? There has to be something fundamentally wrong with guys that have to pay women to be their girlfriends. Men get the women they deserve. If I was back in US and my wife made the same salary as me I would maybe agree with 50/50 split with finances but as the wages here are a fraction of what I or the OP make I say a portion of the expenses should be taken care of by GF . If she is his wife I am kinda old school if she is bored get a job but how many women in US are just "housewifes" they only take care of the home/children they don't work outside the home. Hubby's job to bring home the bacon (money) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12DrinkMore Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 19 hours ago, SoulWater said: hanging around with a friend in a girly bar Sounds like she has found a job already. Just what you wanted..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BV70 Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 I took exactly the same approach as the OP. I wasn't having a lady of leisure sitting around the house for 12 hours a day when I worked. The deal was she got a job and contributed to the running of the home. There would be no professional girlfriend bs but I'd happily pick up the rent check and buy the groceries as my earning power is 10x hers (basic housekeeping). I have even tried the "I've suddenly run out of money" test and she's helped me out financially rather than jumped ship. No financial demands on her part. She earns enough to have the odd night out at the weekend; buy herself make up, shoes, phones, bags etc and other essential girly things, while saving the rest to do with as she pleases. I refuse to give her money for her family as I've never met them. If she wants to send her money home, that's her choice. We're still together 3 years on.Sent from my SM-J510FN using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonray Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 28 minutes ago, 12DrinkMore said: Sounds like she has found a job already. Just what you wanted..... Extracting cash from an all day sucker is her job title Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TSF Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 42 minutes ago, 12DrinkMore said: Sounds like she has found a job already. Just what you wanted..... LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sead Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 If she's not coming from the bar world then theres problem. The bargirls are going to tell her' that's a good looking guy, why dont you go with him.' just because they want her as same level as themselfes. Had many bargirls so i know the drill. The problem will be bigger as soon as she start saying she's going out because of some friends birthday or friends last day before she go home etc etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cranky Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 You're in cuckoo land. Why would, or should, she a get a '711' type job for a few grand a month when she can earn a decent whack on the chrome pole. Being paid to be bonked by you every day or someone else is one and the same. If you don't want to pay her, someone else will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speckio Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 first off where did you meet this girl? secondly, you screwed up from the very beginning by agreeing to a salary in the first place. Its one thing to help her pay her bills or give her money to take care of her children because you care about her... but to just give straight up give her money just because she was nice enough to give you a lay on a regular basis? there is a word for this type of person and i think you know what it is... more than likely you will be dumped and she will move on to another less demanding Jon. Also the fact you call it a salary says allot.. another outcome i can see happening is she does as you tell her and winds up getting a job at the girly bar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bangkok Barry Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 If a GF of mine wanted to hang out in a girly bar instead of getting a job I'd show her the door. In the UK we'd call her a sponger, and that's just to start with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sead Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 And now is the time to ask some nice Tv guy if they can check her out for you. You only need to tell your spy that you will give him cash for the night out and ev for the shortime hotel and your gf..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catman20 Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 21 hours ago, Berkshire said: Funny. So the OP is trying to save his ex-BG GF from the life. Many have tried.... and failed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catman20 Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 as soon as you mentioned the word salary, that said it all for me.i would never pay a woman to stay with me...............................maybe thats why i still live alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smotherb Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 20 hours ago, Peterw42 said: Do you want a salaried employee or a Girlfriend ? Employees get a salary and may change jobs on a whim. The social experiment is really only testing the loyalty of an employee. Maybe if you framed the whole thing as a GF you are willing to support etc, but you want her to contribute and see the results. "Get a job or the salary stops", yes you wont have a missus next week. "You are my GF and I want to take care of you, but I would like you to get a job, contribute etc and you may have a missus next week, even one with a job. I think it has to start earlier than telling her she has to do something other than get money for spreading her legs. She has to want to improve her lot in life, to want to get ahead, to have the wherewithal to contribute to a relationship rather than just taking from it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTB1977 Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 Salary for what?? Paying her to be with you and sex when you want. Why do you care if she is bored. She is on the payroll. Staff member for you. When you pay someone to be with you there are no feelings from her or you. Just where is my money honey. Stop paying her and see what happens. -ZZZZZZZZZ this same old story puts me to sleep every time. Please someone come up with a new one we have not heard before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wazzupnow Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 23 hours ago, pgrahmm said: Friend in a girly bar says it all.... Gravitational pull.... this is as old as adam and eve: you can take the girl out of the bar but you can not take the bar out of the girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fanjita Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 Sorry, but the OP's the loser. Salary? My rear end. Get a decent girlfriend and have some foresight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazza73 Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 I get the feeling this is not going to end well. Although it will be interesting to see if the GF does make the effort to get a 9-5 job. If she doesn't, the OP will have his answer. Quite amazing the number of posters who dump on the "bar girl" thing on TV. What's called a double standard, because IMHO a high percentage of them have been at it with bar girls at some point in their stay here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToS2014 Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 my take, a majority of the women here have been on a paid holiday far too long. It's OUR fault as we have ingrained this into their thinking. It took a long while and several 'conversations' to get past 'all my other friends get salary from boyfriend....' with mine, but it still comes up. A real job to a Thai lady here (with a Western BF) is a loss of face due to all their 'friends' sitting at home getting paid, and/or just looking for the (next) ATM... good luck and hope it works out. The 'can you get a job to help support us' is truly foreign to them as WE are 'supposed' to do all the supporting....in my humble opinion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puffy Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 No you won't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fanjita Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 1 minute ago, bazza73 said: I get the feeling this is not going to end well. Although it will be interesting to see if the GF does make the effort to get a 9-5 job. If she doesn't, the OP will have his answer. Quite amazing the number of posters who dump on the "bar girl" thing on TV. What's called a double standard, because IMHO a high percentage of them have been at it with bar girls at some point in their stay here. Good post and like a lot of what you post, bazza. Pattaya is not the centre of the Thai universe. So many lovely girls here. Not saying that all Pattaya girls are not fit for purpose, just that your chances are better found elsewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonray Posted November 28, 2017 Share Posted November 28, 2017 33 minutes ago, ToS2014 said: my take, a majority of the women here have been on a paid holiday far too long. It's OUR fault as we have ingrained this into their thinking. It took a long while and several 'conversations' to get past 'all my other friends get salary from boyfriend....' with mine, but it still comes up. A real job to a Thai lady here (with a Western BF) is a loss of face due to all their 'friends' sitting at home getting paid, and/or just looking for the (next) ATM... good luck and hope it works out. The 'can you get a job to help support us' is truly foreign to them as WE are 'supposed' to do all the supporting....in my humble opinion That's ridiculous...I have dated a couple of girls here long term, one was a nurse at a hospital who also worked contract hourly on her day off for extra cash and my current GF manages a store for a national chain...you guys want little dollies you get exactly that. Find a girl with an education, ambition and work ethic...believe me...it's worth giving up the little dolly aspect to have a real partner and not a paid companion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.