A Thai woman's fight for her young foreign husband's survival as cancer strikes

[webfact 47,860]

A Thai woman's fight for her young foreign husband's survival as cancer strikes

 

Picture: TNews

 

TNews published a long story of courage and hope as they praised a young Thai/Farang couple who still hold out hope for the future despite the ravages of cancer.

 

They called the story that begins in Bangkok and continues in America as a true life drama with more twists than a Thai soap.

 

They also praised the Thai woman for standing by her man despite terrible circumstances.

 

A wedding picture identified her as Suphansa and her husband as a US national called Benjamin. He was a primary school teacher in Bangkok before the couple's problems started.

 

They met in 2007 but some time after Benjamin developed a lump on his testicles. It was deemed to be benign and he was given a year of drug treatment.

 

The lumpo went down biut after treatment was stopped it returned bigger than before. Surgeryu was recommended but one day before the day of the surgery he was rushed to hospital with stomach pains.

 

The doctors didnt know that Benjamin could understand Thai. When he emerged from a treatment room he knew what was wrong.

 

He was in a terminal cancer stage and 75% of his liver was affected.

 

Picture: TNews

 

The hospital he was being treated at feared litigation if they treated a foreigner and following surgery on the testicles he went to Chula Hospital that is government run. A friend who was a nurse managed to get him moved up the waiting list and he was seen for ten minutes by a leading cancer specialist.

 

Chemotherapy followed and the side affects were dreadful but still the young couple did not give up hope.

 

Donations came in from the children and parents at Benjamin's school.

 

Good news came when the tumor went down and only 25% was left - the Thai doctors said that this could even be scar tissue raising their hopes again.

 

At this point - having been engaged to be married for two years - they decided to get married. Everything was arranged in a month and Benjamin's family came and everyone went to Phuket and put on a brave face.

 

But things worsened dramatically after that when the cancer entered banjamin's bones causing extreme back pain. When the couple were told that Benjamin needed a 60,000 baht injection of drugs from the US they decided to quickly go for treatment in the US instead.

 

His family in the States arranged things to help out.

 

Benjamin qualified for free treatment as he had no assets. The couple went on a hurried tourist visa for Suphansa convincing the visa authorities that their case was a genuine emergency.

 

Benjamin's air ticket was one way that raised eyebrows but was a result of a mix-up rather than by design.

 

In the US things were very confusing for the wife but everything was much better with modern equipment and teams of experienced doctors giving advice at every turn, she wrote on Facebook.

 

More chemotherapy followed and the couple have been pictured smiling and still facing up to what they hope will be a long future together.

 

She signed off saying that no matter what the circumstances people should never give up hope.

 

Source: TNews

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2018-03-08

[keith101 7,463]

If he had been treated in the US to start with all of these complications may have been avoided .

[robblok 32,428]

Again a Thai woman staying with her sick husband, a farang this time. Totally different from all the stories of them all being gold diggers. Maybe because again like in the other case there was no age difference. More chance for real love then. 

 

But wel all know that just don't really want to admit it plays a part. Again not saying age high age difference is always wrong. Its just one of the risk factors. 

 

Anyway an other good news story. 

[Tilacme 1,723]

5 minutes ago, robblok said:

Again a Thai woman staying with her sick husband, a farang this time. Totally different from all the stories of them all being gold diggers. Maybe because again like in the other case there was no age difference. More chance for real love then. 

 

But wel all know that just don't really want to admit it plays a part. Again not saying age high age difference is always wrong. Its just one of the risk factors. 

 

Anyway an other good news story. 

Their respective ages are not provided?

[robblok 32,428]

Just now, Tilacme said:

Their respective ages are not provided?

But a picture is.. 

[colinneil 52,751]

Another case of a loving /caring Thai wife standing by her husband, caring for him. RESPECT.

All you farangs who constantly preach that all Thai women are gold diggers, TAKE NOTE.

[newatthis 2,382]

2 hours ago, colinneil said:

Another case of a loving /caring Thai wife standing by her husband, caring for him. RESPECT.

All you farangs who constantly preach that all Thai women are gold diggers, TAKE NOTE.

And probably representative of the majority of Thai women, if truth be told.

[jonstarjon 176]

Sorry guys.. This is not my experience.I have been married 14 years and have two children 11and 7. I was diagnosed with terminal prostrate cancer, while in the UK reestablishing myself there in order to get my family to the UK for settlement. I had spent 15 years in Thailand and so the process to get my family to the uk was very demanding but I was patient and worked hard to get the job that would meet the minmum financial requirements. On arrival in the UK, (after a mysterious 4 month delay oct 2016) my wife tried to look after me I think, although spent most of her time concerned with the kids. But once she was made aware that treatment for my cancer was exhausted and left me with cancer in my spine and long bones, I would most likely be bed ridden until my death (in less than 1year), the cracks appeared in her character. Following some bazaar behavior turning violent at times and finally a meltdown moment, I had to ask the police to remove her from the property. Her reaction has been the cruel pursuit of vengeance. Revenge has been exacted by turning my children against me and refusing any dialogue about access. Even to the point of faking a series of messages that I am supposed to have sent her for her to show support staff and my carers in order to affect their attitude towards me. Mind boggling since my life is over, all I have done has been for both her and the children. What possible motive could I have?

I don't know if she expected me to go to a dark place, alone and isolated resulting in my suicide? I am sure you TV guys can help with a suggestion or two about her motives.

[greenchair 6,732]

23 minutes ago, jonstarjon said:

Sorry guys.. This is not my experience.I have been married 14 years and have two children 11and 7. I was diagnosed with terminal prostrate cancer, while in the UK reestablishing myself there in order to get my family to the UK for settlement. I had spent 15 years in Thailand and so the process to get my family to the uk was very demanding but I was patient and worked hard to get the job that would meet the minmum financial requirements. On arrival in the UK, (after a mysterious 4 month delay oct 2016) my wife tried to look after me I think, although spent most of her time concerned with the kids. But once she was made aware that treatment for my cancer was exhausted and left me with cancer in my spine and long bones, I would most likely be bed ridden until my death (in less than 1year), the cracks appeared in her character. Following some bazaar behavior turning violent at times and finally a meltdown moment, I had to ask the police to remove her from the property. Her reaction has been the cruel pursuit of vengeance. Revenge has been exacted by turning my children against me and refusing any dialogue about access. Even to the point of faking a series of messages that I am supposed to have sent her for her to show support staff and my carers in order to affect their attitude towards me. Mind boggling since my life is over, all I have done has been for both her and the children. What possible motive could I have?

I don't know if she expected me to go to a dark place, alone and isolated resulting in my suicide? I am sure you TV guys can help with a suggestion or two about her motives.

Well that's just sad. Try not to take it personally. 

It could be that she is very freaked out being in a foreign country. 

Then with a bedridden husband to add to the stress .

It's possible her way of coping is to make you hate her in order that she can be free. 

It's a sad situation for your whole family .

She might come around a bit later. 

[colinneil 52,751]

30 minutes ago, jonstarjon said:

Sorry guys.. This is not my experience.I have been married 14 years and have two children 11and 7. I was diagnosed with terminal prostrate cancer, while in the UK reestablishing myself there in order to get my family to the UK for settlement. I had spent 15 years in Thailand and so the process to get my family to the uk was very demanding but I was patient and worked hard to get the job that would meet the minmum financial requirements. On arrival in the UK, (after a mysterious 4 month delay oct 2016) my wife tried to look after me I think, although spent most of her time concerned with the kids. But once she was made aware that treatment for my cancer was exhausted and left me with cancer in my spine and long bones, I would most likely be bed ridden until my death (in less than 1year), the cracks appeared in her character. Following some bazaar behavior turning violent at times and finally a meltdown moment, I had to ask the police to remove her from the property. Her reaction has been the cruel pursuit of vengeance. Revenge has been exacted by turning my children against me and refusing any dialogue about access. Even to the point of faking a series of messages that I am supposed to have sent her for her to show support staff and my carers in order to affect their attitude towards me. Mind boggling since my life is over, all I have done has been for both her and the children. What possible motive could I have?

I don't know if she expected me to go to a dark place, alone and isolated resulting in my suicide? I am sure you TV guys can help with a suggestion or two about her motives.

 Sir i feel for you, i really do.

Maybe your situation just got too much for her, and she just lost it.

I can only speak about my own situation, being made paraplegic 4 years ago.

My wife has been my rock 100% dedicated to caring for me, she also works fulltime, never rests, no stops helping me, night and day.

 

Sadly i cannot suggest anything that could help you, but never give up, please try to think positive, try to be happy.

[dunroaming 7,172]

jonstarjon.  A really sad post and I am sure we all feel for you, especially us with Thai wives as well.  Your story is not unique and I have heard similar over the years.  However I have also heard accounts that tell a far different story (colinneil for one).  In all nationalities  there are good people and bad people and it often takes a change of circumstances for true colours to surface.  Most of us will have had loving relationships that go sour for one reason or another.  Just how sour depends on the people involved.  We can never generalise over a whole country but in Thailand priorities are often very different to in the west.  Anyone who has ever watched those dreadful Thai soaps will get an idea of the angst that many Thais live their lives by.

 

I wish you all the best.

 

 

[hansnl 5,541]

4 hours ago, keith101 said:

If he had been treated in the US to start with all of these complications may have been avoided .

Oh, in the US the medical circus doesn't make mistakes?

I read different!

More deaths in the US because of medical blunders as deaths by traffic.

Or to stay PC, deaths by guns.

[Suttisan 349]

Good luck to this guy and his foreign wife. 

[Baerboxer 30,275]

1 hour ago, jonstarjon said:

Sorry guys.. This is not my experience.I have been married 14 years and have two children 11and 7. I was diagnosed with terminal prostrate cancer, while in the UK reestablishing myself there in order to get my family to the UK for settlement. I had spent 15 years in Thailand and so the process to get my family to the uk was very demanding but I was patient and worked hard to get the job that would meet the minmum financial requirements. On arrival in the UK, (after a mysterious 4 month delay oct 2016) my wife tried to look after me I think, although spent most of her time concerned with the kids. But once she was made aware that treatment for my cancer was exhausted and left me with cancer in my spine and long bones, I would most likely be bed ridden until my death (in less than 1year), the cracks appeared in her character. Following some bazaar behavior turning violent at times and finally a meltdown moment, I had to ask the police to remove her from the property. Her reaction has been the cruel pursuit of vengeance. Revenge has been exacted by turning my children against me and refusing any dialogue about access. Even to the point of faking a series of messages that I am supposed to have sent her for her to show support staff and my carers in order to affect their attitude towards me. Mind boggling since my life is over, all I have done has been for both her and the children. What possible motive could I have?

I don't know if she expected me to go to a dark place, alone and isolated resulting in my suicide? I am sure you TV guys can help with a suggestion or two about her motives.

 

All nationalities are made up of people who are individuals so stereotyping isn't a good idea. However, nationalities and cultures often have or exhibit certain similar traits.

 

I've found that Thai traits around selfishness, putting their own wants, desires, and perceived happiness above all else are very strong. Look at how unaware they are of others when driving, walking about, parking their vehicles, queue jumping etc etc. Not bashing Thais or any one else. It's just different to some others.

 

There are of course many who would become devoted to looking after their partners; but many, and many more IME, who wouldn't. They classical "fair weather friends" - source of money, security, and provider becomes unwelcome when those things change. They focus on the effects to their lives only and will take action to protect what they see as any threat to their happiness or wishes. 

 

[keithpa 321]

53 minutes ago, greenchair said:

Well that's just sad. Try not to take it personally. 

It could be that she is very freaked out being in a foreign country. 

Then with a bedridden husband to add to the stress .

It's possible her way of coping is to make you hate her in order that she can be free. 

It's a sad situation for your whole family .

She might come around a bit later. 

Dont take it personally,  it is  personal.