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Goodwill Jones

Farang and Thai woman with two teens. Marry?

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there is a match for everyone looking for a partner.    the problem is most guys are blind when it comes

to what the "match" is for them   :stoner:

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6 minutes ago, Straight8 said:

 

And they will want to be compensated with some toys and electrical gadgets (motor cy / latest iphone, would be a starting request)

 

As to why marry? Well its quite obvious. Marry me, pay sin sot and everything else that is involved in a Farang/Thai marriage, or its OVER!!!! - Fair enough, Thai ladies want some security, I get that!!!

 

Some do, some don't!!!

I havent read all the thread, but is the Woman in the O.P. requesting sinsot, or did you just make that bit up (and have the Children in question asked for gadgets and things ?) ?

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4 minutes ago, rumak said:

My experience is this:   there are many women who are nice at first and then in time

the true colors will show.  Kinda like small doses of poison.

I think often this has nothing to do with "true colors". People change, and they change a lot if their environment changes a lot.

 

A good example are bar girls who are always happy and fun in the bar. And then a guy takes them out of that place (he thinks he rescues her) and then they sit alone in front of the TV in the nice new home and then? They change, a lot, because their life changes a lot. And often they are not happy and fun anymore even if they have more money and live in a nice house with a boyfriend/husband who loves them.

The same can obviously happen with anyone, not just bar girls. But they are a perfect example for this situation.

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Before I met my current partner, I've met three nice ladies with children. After getting to know them a little better I ended those affairs. My wife has two adult daughters who don't live with us. They seem to be very nice girls, but when they visit us for a few days I feel so relieved when they go back to their home again. Our house is turned in a mess in no time, the fridge emptied, aircon coldest possible, as none of them speaks a word of English and I'm not speaking Thai, I'm just being ignored, not even looked at for a couple of days. Luckily their husbandas are nice but one of them is drinking a lot of beer every day on my expenses, even the day they have to travel back home in their car for about 300 km. Irresponsible, but none of them seems to care.

OP, please be so very careful. I wish you the best of luck.

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For the life of me I have no idea why you would want to marry someone with all this baggage ? in fact why marry at all?  surely you didn't come here looking for that?  just live together, have fun and relax why go seeking problems and stress?  

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2 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I think often this has nothing to do with "true colors". People change, and they change a lot if their environment changes a lot.

 

A good example are bar girls who are always happy and fun in the bar. And then a guy takes them out of that place (he thinks he rescues her) and then they sit alone in front of the TV in the nice new home and then? They change, a lot, because their life changes a lot. And often they are not happy and fun anymore even if they have more money and live in a nice house with a boyfriend/husband who loves them.

The same can obviously happen with anyone, not just bar girls. But they are a perfect example for this situation.

And to be realistic , the guys change as well .

Its a reality of real life situations/relationships .

Its easy to have relationships with people when you are not with them all the time , the hard work begins when you move in and live together .

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5 minutes ago, maximillian said:

Before I met my current partner, I've met three nice ladies with children. After getting to know them a little better I ended those affairs. My wife has two adult daughters who don't live with us. They seem to be very nice girls, but when they visit us for a few days I feel so relieved when they go back to their home again. Our house is turned in a mess in no time, the fridge emptied, aircon coldest possible, as none of them speaks a word of English and I'm not speaking Thai, I'm just being ignored, not even looked at for a couple of days. Luckily their husbandas are nice but one of them is drinking a lot of beer every day on my expenses, even the day they have to travel back home in their car for about 300 km. Irresponsible, but none of them seems to care.

OP, please be so very careful. I wish you the best of luck.

Why do you allow them to behave like that ?

When the ex Gf's family came to stay with me , they could use the aircon all day, costs was 100 Baht per day in advance paid to me  .

   They make a mess , THEY tidy up .

I will buy them a beer, if I choose to do so . 

This is MY house and MY rules , *If you dont like it, you can all <deleted> off*

Which they did , which is why she is now my ex

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1 minute ago, sanemax said:

Why do you allow them to behave like that ?

When the ex Gf's family came to stay with me , they could use the aircon all day, costs was 100 Baht per day in advance paid to me  .

   They make a mess , THEY tidy up .

I will buy them a beer, if I choose to do so . 

This is MY house and MY rules , *If you dont like it, you can all <deleted> off*

Which they did , which is why she is now my ex

They did it because he allowed it.

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1 minute ago, sanemax said:

Why do you allow them to behave like that ?

When the ex Gf's family came to stay with me , they could use the aircon all day, costs was 100 Baht per day in advance paid to me  .

   They make a mess , THEY tidy up .

I will buy them a beer, if I choose to do so . 

This is MY house and MY rules , *If you dont like it, you can all <deleted> off*

Which they did , which is why she is now my ex

As I said before, they are actually nice people and they do not visit too often.

I don't like to make a bearable situation unbearable. And most of all, I want my wife to stay with me and be happy together.

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On 15/03/2018 at 6:35 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

You must love her a lot to even think about marrying her under these conditions.

Sounds like expensive stress to me.

Good luck, you will need it.

My wife had a girl at 17 and boy at 15 when we decided to live together (we married after 5 years) we have now been together nearly 13 years, and I can say in all honesty I have never had an issue with any of them, and to my knowledge they have never had an issue with me, I have a great marriage and relationship with her kids.

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If the boys are living with their dad, why bother to have a relationship with them...the Thai well will be continuously poisoned by his family and maybe even hers?

 

focus on her; you owe them nothing...be cordial and polite and that's all...if you want to contribute financially fine, but don't be taken advantage of....

 

resentment runs strong in Thai upbringing with other cultures esp with socio econ differences..you are an outsider  and always will be individually and collectively...

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10 hours ago, swissie said:

Hardly. But living together under the same roof for 5 years (without interruption), is legally being considered as a "married couple". Goes for Farangs as well as Thai's.

May have changed in the Big City but not likely in rural Thailand. May also differ from Amphoe to Amphoe. Hard to live in a country, where there is no "legal-certainty". Isn't it?

Cheers.

"Hard to live in a country, where there is no "legal-certainty". Isn't it?".

All different authorities in Thailand from Immigration offices, Amphoes, Banks, Police, etc, etc, make up their own rules.

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3 minutes ago, cardinalblue said:

If the boys are living with their dad, why bother to have a relationship with them...the Thai well will be continuously poisoned by his family and maybe even hers?

 

focus on her; you owe them nothing...be cordial and polite and that's all...if you want to contribute financially fine, but don't be taken advantage of....

 

resentment runs strong in Thai upbringing with other cultures esp with socio econ differences..you are an outsider  and always will be individually and collectively...

If you want a "relationship" like that then it seems to me the best option is to buy that kind of relationship per hour or per night.

 

Because if you are in a real relationship with a real person you love then you do care about them. You can and should set limits but ignoring everybody in the family is not a healthy relationship.

 

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23 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Why do you allow them to behave like that ?

When the ex Gf's family came to stay with me , they could use the aircon all day, costs was 100 Baht per day in advance paid to me  .

   They make a mess , THEY tidy up .

I will buy them a beer, if I choose to do so . 

This is MY house and MY rules , *If you dont like it, you can all <deleted> off*

Which they did , which is why she is now my ex

Like I said...know what you want and stick to it !   Good for you !   I have a few exes myself  :-)

Actually I never had any big dramas.   Just one word always sufficed :   NO

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23 hours ago, Goodwill Jones said:

Gentleman, I would like to thank each and every one of you for the insight. It is much appreciated. It was at times very hard to raise two teen boys in the states, track and martial arts was a saving grace for me. (They were busy busy) Both are doing great. Thailand I have no clue?

i have a clue for you, you will never get used to the way the thai treat their kids

what ever you say the kids will always be right not you

and she will defend them as a tigress, do not get yourself into this mess

wait untill u are about 80 years of age and u need a nurse

untill than enjoy ur life no commitments

bored ? get an other one!

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