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Goodwill Jones

Farang and Thai woman with two teens. Marry?

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4 hours ago, Colabamumbai said:

From my experience, a lady without children, never married and without living parents is always a good bet.

What about the brothers, uncles and especially "cousins"? Most will be looking for their share

from the walking ATMs.

From the very start, make it clear that your partner must be responsible financially for herself, although that's not to say you won't give financial help sometimes, but that will be when you decide.

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3 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

That can apply to a Thai woman with nephews as well.

and brothers, uncles and cousins etc.

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I've always been very receptive towards women with children from a prior marriage. After you get to a certain age, do you really have much choice? If you exclude everyone who has had children from a prior marriage what are you left with? Infertile, unattractive, old maids? Pathetically chasing after girls young enough to be your grand daughter? But with that said, the truth is that in Thailand there are more risks associated with becoming a step-parent than you would likely encounter back home, and more caution is warranted. 

 

Let's say for purposes of discussion you're involved with a girl from a village who has children from a prior relationship. We'll leave the discussion of where you met this girl for another day. Chances are the father of her children was her childhood sweetheart from the local area. What happened to him? Is he in prison? Did he die prematurely from drug addiction, alcoholism, suicide, an at-fault accident? Did he have any traits like low intelligence, a mood disorder, impulsiveness, hot-headedness, or criminal inclination that contributed to his early demise or imprisonment? Have any of those traits been passed onto his offspring? Sure, some hidden personality disorder could emerge down the road with step-kids anywhere. Doesn't matter whether you're here or in the West. But in Thailand, there are more unknowns, less information is available. Chances are you're not going to meet the biological father, or be able to review medical and school records, or interview people who know the child's history. In many cases, at least early on, even having a meaningful conversation with the child might be a struggle. Because of all the language, logistical (travel), and cultural barriers (expectations of what the role of the father even is), the unknowns are higher in Thailand than they would be in your home country and a good understanding of the situation you are getting yourself into is going to take a longer time to develop.  For these reasons, taking extra time and being more cautious is well-advised.

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52 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Why do you allow them to behave like that ?

When the ex Gf's family came to stay with me , they could use the aircon all day, costs was 100 Baht per day in advance paid to me  .

   They make a mess , THEY tidy up .

I will buy them a beer, if I choose to do so . 

This is MY house and MY rules , *If you dont like it, you can all <deleted> off*

Which they did , which is why she is now my ex

You cannot treat your family or anyone like a dictator, you have to come and go with them. Your house and your rules????

Good job I wasn't your son. I always lived thinking that if a rule is made by anyone, no matter who they are, and you think it is unfair, then you do not obey it, there are always ways around it, just as long as it is not to the detriment of ordinary people.

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On 3/14/2018 at 8:53 PM, MaeJoMTB said:

Why marry?

Just do a village wedding.

 

The boys are always a big problem, they know what you do with mum, and they don't like it.

My gf daughter wanted me to be with her too, but I thought that will become a problem if I do 2 in the same house. I refused then she hates me now and has made it really uncomfortable for me. She is 25 though not a kid. ? 

 

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On 3/15/2018 at 6:35 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

You must love her a lot to even think about marrying her under these conditions.

Sounds like expensive stress to me.

Good luck, you will need it.

Some people are a Glutton for punishment, sorry but lifes to short for all that obvious Grief.

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3 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

the rest should be straight forward in my opinion.

You Sir, are a Number One Numpty !

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3 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Is this really an issue in Thailand?

I know with the stupid MeToo in other countries it seems an accusation from a female is almost the same as a guilty verdict in some peoples' mind. But is this also the case in Thailand?

In normal family life it is normal that from time to time father and (step) daughter are alone at home and even in the same room. If the father has to be sure he doesn't even look TV alone with her in the same room if nobody else is in the house then something is seriously wrong.

OP, Who on Earth wants to live like that, always being on edge wondering if a false accusation is going to be made against you why do Men even accept Women with all that Baggage, Kids, EX Hubby, Parents hassle, its just beyond me , there are plenty of Women out there that dont have Grief stamped stamped on their Forehead, GO FIND ONE !

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1 hour ago, possum1931 said:

You cannot treat your family or anyone like a dictator, you have to come and go with them. Your house and your rules????

Good job I wasn't your son. I always lived thinking that if a rule is made by anyone, no matter who they are, and you think it is unfair, then you do not obey it, there are always ways around it, just as long as it is not to the detriment of ordinary people.

If you think that its unfair to tidy your own mess up and to pay your own bills and its unfair to have to be polite to other people , then me and you have a differing opinion as to what being "fair " is .

   I do think that its unfair that I should pay for someone elses air con bill , do explain how I can avoid paying that bill ?

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10 minutes ago, sanemax said:

If you think that its unfair to tidy your own mess up and to pay your own bills and its unfair to have to be polite to other people , then me and you have a differing opinion as to what being "fair " is .

   I do think that its unfair that I should pay for someone elses air con bill , do explain how I can avoid paying that bill ?

All I will say to this post is "think common sense".

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6 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

All I will say to this post is "think common sense".

Nope, you will need to tell me how I can avoid paying for their air-con .

The only way that I know is to either make them pay or to stop them using it .

   You feel that that is unfair and there are "ways around it"

Do explain the way around not paying my electric bill ?

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2 hours ago, rumak said:

Like I said...know what you want and stick to it !   Good for you !   I have a few exes myself  :-)

Actually I never had any big dramas.   Just one word always sufficed :   NO

Yes, and they need to realise from the beginning that when you say no, you mean NO , its a NO, full stop .

   Not a NO , but if you keep whining , sulking or deliberately ignoring me, I will change my mind .

   NO, and if you dont like it, the T.V,s getting switched off as well

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LOL........sounds like you've also been there and done that .   The old stickmanbkk website used to have

plenty of stories about shedonemewrong.   Problem is everyone always thinks that "mine is different".

I like what somebody on here wrote once:    I can explain it to you.......but I can't understand it for you.

Cheers.....

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1 minute ago, sanemax said:

Nope, you will need to tell me how I can avoid paying for their air-con .

The only way that I know is to either make them pay or to stop them using it .

   You feel that that is unfair and there are "ways around it"

Do explain the way around not paying my electric bill ?

I will repeat myself again. "Think common sense". My wifes two teenage kids were living with us, when we all moved in together, and they still are, she is working, she has her money and I have mine. We have three AC units, I contribute to the bill every month, and so do her son and daughter. I know it does not apply to everyone, but everyone living in the house pays their way, and there is never a problem, in most cases, you treat people right and they will treat you right in return, of course there are exceptions.

 

OK, if my wife and her kids left me to pay the AC bill. I would refuse to pay it and pack up and leave, I have never had any reason to even think about that in the 13 years we have all been together.

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1 hour ago, Acemaker said:

You Sir, are a Number One Numpty !

That of course is your contribution to TVF, noting your a newbie

 

For the life of me I just can't understand where these grumpy Humpty dumpy's come from, no doubt your a nutter from the UK as the word Numpty derives from there.

 

I could throw one back at yah, but that would lowering my standards,

 

ah why not,

 

on second thoughts your not worth it, so get a life and try contributing something more appropriate, as we have enough like you on TVF, I swear your comments bore the crap out of me.

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