Does My Partner Understand Me?

[rumak]

20 minutes ago, pgrahmm said:

She must - she likes to tell me what I'm thinking.....

are you looking at a pretty girl when she says that ?     

[mauGR1]

11 minutes ago, xylophone said:

Well anything outside of themselves and their close family, because nothing else seems to matter in their lives and they are not really interested in finding out what's outside of their self-imposed perimeter

 

Also pointless trying to discuss anything else happening outside of Thailand...……...

Yep, i find those traits extremely depressing , although it cannot be blamed only on the poor schooling, but rather on the culture, or lack of it.

Not that i cannot find other excuses to end a boring relationship.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

14 minutes ago, xylophone said:

Well anything outside of themselves and their close family, because nothing else seems to matter in their lives and they are not really interested in finding out what's outside of their self-imposed perimeters.

 

My GF asked me why I was still very white and didn't go out in the sun, so I tried to explain to her that I had tried to get brown whilst working in the Sahara desert – – blank look.

 

Dropped the "Sahara" and tried to explain what a desert was, another blank look and so on.

 

I come from New Zealand and trying to explain exactly where that is by drawing a rough map of the world, is tantamount to trying to teach a goldfish how to ride a bike. And the amusing thing about this is that just about any Thai I have spoken to who asks where I come from and I say, "New Zealand" will nod knowingly. But asking location is a different story and if I say Finland (or any other "land") they will nod again.....

 

I appreciate that the level of education for many everyday Thai people can be very minimal, however none that I have ever known have bothered to find out about anything which falls outside of their everyday events/life. And that was quite an eye-opener for me because my ex-girlfriend was university educated and had a degree, but that did not stop the blank looks from appearing whenever I tried to explain something.

 

The best I could try to do, and something which seems to have worked here, is that I ask if they have seen the "Lord of the Rings" movies and tell them that this country is New Zealand (sorry, CGIs apart).

 

Also pointless trying to discuss anything else happening outside of Thailand...……...

 

You are doing it wrong.

 

Try to make a Facebook connection somehow. Let's visit New Zealand teerak and make pretty instagram, photos. Also, mention that Steve jobs is from New Zealand and you will be shopping for an iPhone. Tell her that the best somtam you can buy outside Thailand is in Auckland. After trip she'll be able to at least point it on the map.

[Justfine]

28 minutes ago, xylophone said:

Well anything outside of themselves and their close family, because nothing else seems to matter in their lives and they are not really interested in finding out what's outside of their self-imposed perimeters.

 

My GF asked me why I was still very white and didn't go out in the sun, so I tried to explain to her that I had tried to get brown whilst working in the Sahara desert – – blank look.

 

Dropped the "Sahara" and tried to explain what a desert was, another blank look and so on.

 

I come from New Zealand and trying to explain exactly where that is by drawing a rough map of the world, is tantamount to trying to teach a goldfish how to ride a bike. And the amusing thing about this is that just about any Thai I have spoken to who asks where I come from and I say, "New Zealand" will nod knowingly. But asking location is a different story and if I say Finland (or any other "land") they will nod again.....

 

I appreciate that the level of education for many everyday Thai people can be very minimal, however none that I have ever known have bothered to find out about anything which falls outside of their everyday events/life. And that was quite an eye-opener for me because my ex-girlfriend was university educated and had a degree, but that did not stop the blank looks from appearing whenever I tried to explain something.

 

The best I could try to do, and something which seems to have worked here, is that I ask if they have seen the "Lord of the Rings" movies and tell them that this country is New Zealand (sorry, CGIs apart).

 

Also pointless trying to discuss anything else happening outside of Thailand...……...

That's 1 person who can't understand a map.

[cat handler]

Big deal if she understands everything you say, as long as she understands to get you a beer from the fridge, cook dinner and clean house that should be enough.

[mauGR1]

1 minute ago, cat handler said:

Big deal if she understands everything you say, as long as she understands to get you a beer from the fridge, cook dinner and clean house that should be enough.

Nope, for many people (dare not say the majority ) is not enough, but, whatever floats your boat..

 

[Minnehaha]

54 minutes ago, xylophone said:

Well anything outside of themselves and their close family, because nothing else seems to matter in their lives and they are not really interested in finding out what's outside of their self-imposed perimeters.

 

My GF asked me why I was still very white and didn't go out in the sun, so I tried to explain to her that I had tried to get brown whilst working in the Sahara desert – – blank look.

 

Dropped the "Sahara" and tried to explain what a desert was, another blank look and so on.

 

I come from New Zealand and trying to explain exactly where that is by drawing a rough map of the world, is tantamount to trying to teach a goldfish how to ride a bike. And the amusing thing about this is that just about any Thai I have spoken to who asks where I come from and I say, "New Zealand" will nod knowingly. But asking location is a different story and if I say Finland (or any other "land") they will nod again.....

 

I appreciate that the level of education for many everyday Thai people can be very minimal, however none that I have ever known have bothered to find out about anything which falls outside of their everyday events/life. And that was quite an eye-opener for me because my ex-girlfriend was university educated and had a degree, but that did not stop the blank looks from appearing whenever I tried to explain something.

 

The best I could try to do, and something which seems to have worked here, is that I ask if they have seen the "Lord of the Rings" movies and tell them that this country is New Zealand (sorry, CGIs apart).

 

Also pointless trying to discuss anything else happening outside of Thailand...……...

Aww. Come on. Nobody can understand Kiwis (just kidding)

[xylophone]

26 minutes ago, Justfine said:

That's 1 person who can't understand a map.

Try the majority of Thais with that...………..

[ToddinChonburi]

What was the first clue ?  Lol.  

[Lacessit]

36 minutes ago, Minnehaha said:

Aww. Come on. Nobody can understand Kiwis (just kidding)

That's because their version of English has interchangeable vowels.

[pgrahmm]

16 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

That's because their version of English has interchangeable vowels.

Nothing like a good vowel movement....

[The Deerhunter]

My wife lived with me in my home country  and ran a business there for 7 or 8 years before we retired here.  I give that high marks for helping her understand Farang culture in general and me in particular.  Unusual for a Thai woman and much to her credit, she was to be found glued to the local TV 6pm news every night in her studies to understand my particular local Farang culture.  

[tukkytuktuk]

6 hours ago, Justfine said:

15 years and you don't know? Not much communication going on.

 

 

No, your misquoting me. I said that we talk to each other a lot but that sometimes I get the feeling that she doesn't understand everything I say. Maybe she just says she understands to save face. I don't know. 

 

I think someone also posted that I should learn Thai. I can speak Thai pretty well but not up to the level of describing every tiny detail. Some suggest I should get Thai lessons. I have been doing that but they mostly concentrate on reading and writing Thai.

 

Many said that the problem is women themselves. That to understand a woman is impossible. Not impossible, I think that's a myth, of course you can understand women.

 

Lastly, some said that I was foolish in the first place to marry someone who spoke a different language than myself. Well, thats rubbish. 

 

Cheers for all your posts, keep posting, nice to word chat with you all.

 

Tukky.

[mauGR1]

10 minutes ago, tukkytuktuk said:

No, your misquoting me. I said that we talk to each other a lot but that sometimes I get the feeling that she doesn't understand everything I say. Maybe she just says she understands to save face. I don't know. 

 

I think someone also posted that I should learn Thai. I can speak Thai pretty well but not up to the level of describing every tiny detail. Some suggest I should get Thai lessons. I have been doing that but they mostly concentrate on reading and writing Thai.

 

Many said that the problem is women themselves. That to understand a woman is impossible. Not impossible, I think that's a myth, of course you can understand women.

 

Lastly, some said that I was foolish in the first place to marry someone who spoke a different language than myself. Well, thats rubbish. 

 

Cheers for all your posts, keep posting, nice to word chat with you all.

 

Tukky.

Tukky, i think you have all the answers already, interesting topic nonetheless, wish you all the very best.

[Russell17au]

4 hours ago, xylophone said:

Well anything outside of themselves and their close family, because nothing else seems to matter in their lives and they are not really interested in finding out what's outside of their self-imposed perimeters.

 

My GF asked me why I was still very white and didn't go out in the sun, so I tried to explain to her that I had tried to get brown whilst working in the Sahara desert – – blank look.

 

Dropped the "Sahara" and tried to explain what a desert was, another blank look and so on.

 

I come from New Zealand and trying to explain exactly where that is by drawing a rough map of the world, is tantamount to trying to teach a goldfish how to ride a bike. And the amusing thing about this is that just about any Thai I have spoken to who asks where I come from and I say, "New Zealand" will nod knowingly. But asking location is a different story and if I say Finland (or any other "land") they will nod again.....

 

I appreciate that the level of education for many everyday Thai people can be very minimal, however none that I have ever known have bothered to find out about anything which falls outside of their everyday events/life. And that was quite an eye-opener for me because my ex-girlfriend was university educated and had a degree, but that did not stop the blank looks from appearing whenever I tried to explain something.

 

The best I could try to do, and something which seems to have worked here, is that I ask if they have seen the "Lord of the Rings" movies and tell them that this country is New Zealand (sorry, CGIs apart).

 

Also pointless trying to discuss anything else happening outside of Thailand...……...

It is understandable that she would not be able to understand you because even us Aussies can't understand you lot because you do not speak proper and even when you count you keep getting the number six mixed up with sex. ha ha ha ha ha ha

 

[BigC]

Take her back to your own country let her see some of your culture 

[xylophone]

4 minutes ago, Russell17au said:

It is understandable that she would not be able to understand you because even us Aussies can't understand you lot because you do not speak proper and even when you count you keep getting the number six mixed up with sex. ha ha ha ha ha ha

 

You've got to be "strine" cobber, blue or roo rooter...…………..!!!

[Tug]

30+years in great wife hard worker in tough times has your back deep conversations about issues no but wouldn’t trade her for all the tea in China 

[Justfine]

6 hours ago, tukkytuktuk said:

No, your misquoting me. I said that we talk to each other a lot but that sometimes I get the feeling that she doesn't understand everything I say. Maybe she just says she understands to save face. I don't know. 

 

I think someone also posted that I should learn Thai. I can speak Thai pretty well but not up to the level of describing every tiny detail. Some suggest I should get Thai lessons. I have been doing that but they mostly concentrate on reading and writing Thai.

 

Many said that the problem is women themselves. That to understand a woman is impossible. Not impossible, I think that's a myth, of course you can understand women.

 

Lastly, some said that I was foolish in the first place to marry someone who spoke a different language than myself. Well, thats rubbish. 

 

Cheers for all your posts, keep posting, nice to word chat with you all.

 

Tukky.

You are asking strangers to know if another stranger understands you.

 

You might as well ask us what her fav dog is.

[Justfine]

9 hours ago, xylophone said:

Try the majority of Thais with that...………..

Ask a western woman to read a map.

[Justfine]

5 hours ago, Russell17au said:

It is understandable that she would not be able to understand you because even us Aussies can't understand you lot because you do not speak proper and even when you count you keep getting the number six mixed up with sex. ha ha ha ha ha ha

 

I can't understand why people like crap movies like Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter.

[Lacessit]

9 hours ago, BigC said:

Take her back to your own country let her see some of your culture 

I took my GF to Australia for a month. First, she was wondering why there were no police checkpoints. She was horrified by my son's dogs sleeping on the bed with them. When we drove for 8 hours between Nymagee and Broken Hill, she was wondering where the houses were.

She had never experienced a decent eye filet steak or yabbies before, could not catch them fast enough.

Even now, I don't think she was able to comprehend the sheer size of Australia relative to Thailand.

 

[sead]

Well if you ask some questions then it shouldnt  be difficult to know. But if her answers are always short then shes just like most thais. 

[Different]

Are you saying you want to divorce your partner after living 15 years together because you assume she doesn't understand you.   Even though she speaks good English!

Be my guest divorce her and live alone, it is a lot better to even fall to your death and there is no body to help.

You are ruining Man's reputation.

[Grauwulf]

On 13/05/2018 at 2:40 PM, samsensam said:

 

anyone who can be in a relationship with someone whom they dont have common language ability has my admiration. i hear these long term foreigner/thai couples all the time where the thai barely speaks english and the english they do speak is awful; i mean they cant even use the present continuous or plurals for goodness sake.

 

what puzzles me is that the foreigner not only seems happy to listen to this awful form of the english day in and day out but also starts to mimic their parnter's use of english, making them sound, with all due respect, complete idiots.

 

i guess love conquers all.

 

Agree with you there gotta admire the guys who hang out in the bars all day speaking pigeon English to bar girls and then talk to fellow expats the same way! Albeit with their limited Thai/English ( the expat!) vocabulary of “ up to you” and  “ dop salop salay”. I’m like ..mate I actually speak English..and can speak the language..and hey how many and I’m at risk of quote here...” non bar girls ever,ever say up to you or dop salop salay? Mmmm...just saying but. To the OP the culture divide is still great. Get out there and learn some real Thai. You’ll enjoy it and it might just stop you from being taken as a mug.

[StreetCowboy]

On 5/13/2018 at 3:40 PM, samsensam said:

 

anyone who can be in a relationship with someone whom they dont have common language ability has my admiration. i hear these long term foreigner/thai couples all the time where the thai barely speaks english and the english they do speak is awful; i mean they cant even use the present continuous or plurals for goodness sake.

 

what puzzles me is that the foreigner not only seems happy to listen to this awful form of the english day in and day out but also starts to mimic their parnter's use of english, making them sound, with all due respect, complete idiots.

 

i guess love conquers all.

 

Maybe we're not all grammar nazis.  After a while, you might learn to understand what someone means, even if they don't have a plum in their mouth, and they'll soon learn that when you say something they don't understand, if they don't know what you mean, it's probably irrelevant <deleted> about global warming, or politics, or rugby league in any case.

 

If you need to rely on language for communication, you might as well be talking to a stranger

[StreetCowboy]

On 5/14/2018 at 1:34 PM, Different said:

Are you saying you want to divorce your partner after living 15 years together because you assume she doesn't understand you.   Even though she speaks good English!

Be my guest divorce her and live alone, it is a lot better to even fall to your death and there is no body to help.

You are ruining Man's reputation.

Is he Manx?

[StreetCowboy]

On 5/13/2018 at 7:50 PM, cat handler said:

Big deal if she understands everything you say, as long as she understands to get you a beer from the fridge, cook dinner and clean house that should be enough.

Who would say anything else?  

"Teerak stupid; says stupid things.  I understand everything except stupid things.  Can get beer, cook food, etc etc.  If he wants to talk about Donald Trump phone Donald Trump.  Or Donald Trump's mother.:"

 

EDIT: You're partner almost certainly understands you.  She might not understand what you say.  Is what you say that important?  

[Rc2702]

43 minutes ago, Grauwulf said:

Agree with you there gotta admire the guys who hang out in the bars all day speaking pigeon English to bar girls and then talk to fellow expats the same way! Albeit with their limited Thai/English ( the expat!) vocabulary of “ up to you” and  “ dop salop salay”. I’m like ..mate I actually speak English..and can speak the language..and hey how many and I’m at risk of quote here...” non bar girls ever,ever say up to you or dop salop salay? Mmmm...just saying but. To the OP the culture divide is still great. Get out there and learn some real Thai. You’ll enjoy it and it might just stop you from being taken as a mug.

Please educate me on this dop salop salay I have never heard this anybody else? Admittedly I never go to bars.

[talahtnut]

If you have been married for 15 years..all you need to know is that you

must be doing things correctly.  Mystique keeps boredom at bay.

My wife doesn't even understand herself, thats why she does stupid

things..like marrying me, ironing my socks, and ironing my morning

newspaper, and patching up my underwear.