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DJ54

NE live in village monthly

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Those of you that live in the NE appreciate your input. I live in village 1 hour from Udon 1 hour to Khon Kaen. 

Me/Wife/ her Mama and Papa live in our house. Pay older sister monthly to take care of cows. Pay middle sister

to clean house. Have been giving Mama and Papa I give 5,000 baht a nmonth. I buy most groceries pay electric etc. 

House is paid for and we built small house for the older sister. 

 

My question is the 5,000 a month fair and comparable to what other pay?  Reason being I was asked to give 10,000 and questioned why? 

 

Thanks

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Without knowing all the details I should say that ฿5000.- a month is really enough. What were they living off before you turned up? 

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Assuming your mrs parents are 60+?

 

Each should get 600 baht a month for being over 60.

 

So you pay them 5000 baht a month to live with you? House built on their land?

 

What expenditure do they have if you pay for most essentials?

 

 

 

 

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Can you not reach a compromise and split the difference? 7500

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so you actuall pay to live in crowded conditions ??

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10 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

Assuming your mrs parents are 60+?

 

Each should get 600 baht a month for being over 60.

 

So you pay them 5000 baht a month to live with you? House built on their land?

 

What expenditure do they have if you pay for most essentials?

 

 

 

 

Certainly no rent or electricity !

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Fair questions but there is not enough information to give specific advice.

- Did you build a new house to accommodate the family and did you pay for the land?

- Are the parents receiving the government pension.

- Are they helpful, decent people with no vices (alcohol, drugs or gambling) and respectful.

- Is your wife working to help her family?  You are paying her 2 sisters to do house and yard work plus you built a small house for one sister.

 

Paying the parents even 5,000 baht a month (166 baht a day) plus feeding them, paying utilities, taking care of 3 sisters and providing housing seems very generous to me.  Many older couples in rural areas of Issan don't make that when working.

 

Did you pay sinsot (and or gold equivalent) when you married her?

 

For me it would all come down to are they all nice people you trust and wouldn't take advantage of your kindness.  I have known some Thai's who seem to feel being generous and kind is almost a weakness - not all.

 

Do you have a good financial situation, maybe you are financially secure and it is easy to support everyone?  If you were just getting by on a pension it may put hardships on you?

 

Good luck.

 

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Jesus,Mary and Joseph..the usual.

 

....and yes,I lived in the NE.

 

Try..as much money as they think (fantasy) that your bank account will bear.

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13 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

Jesus,Mary and Joseph..the usual.

 

....and yes,I lived in the NE.

 

Try..as much money as they think (fantasy) that your bank account will bear.

Asking for 10000 bht after what they are getting, would 'turn my radar on '

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Fair questions but there is not enough information to give specific advice.

- Did you build a new house to accommodate the family and did you pay for the land? Yes built new and bought land. Wasn’t expecting family to come along. 

- Are the parents receiving the government pension. No he’s 57 and she 55

- Are they helpful, decent people with no vices (alcohol, drugs or gambling) and respectful. Mama and Papa seem to be ok. 

- Is your wife working to help her family?  No would probably spend more on fuel than what she’d make due to lack of education. You are paying her 2 sisters to do house and yard work plus you built a small house for one sister.  The small house Is on land where the barn (shelter) cows are kept at night. The money paid to take care of cows would have to be paid to someone. So a trade off.

 

Did you pay sinsot (and or gold equivalent) when you married her? Yes but the amount was reduced per my agreement if problems with wife within a year. 

 

Do you have a good financial situation, maybe you are financially secure and it is easy to support everyone?  If you were just getting by on a pension it may put hardships on you? I’ll be 64 next year and I can hear Retirement knocking on the door. 

 

They also have a brother who works in BKK and sends 3,000 a month

 but that’s for oldest sister to take care of his two children 6 and 11. 

 

I wanted to get an idea what others are doing to be fair. The Mama and Papa fish and work farm and sell at the small market. 

 

My my concern is if and when the wanting of more will stop. 

 

I think i will keep it at 5000 and if Mama Papa need something I will buy it. This would keep all of the. From thinking there’s a money tree. 

 

Thanks to all for input. 

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That is very fair and reasonable.

 

I think you are doing a good job in helping to support your Thai wife's family.

 

My MIL lived with us for about 5 years untill she died, in a small house we built with this in mind. 

 

We never gave her any money but if she wanted anything we bought it for her.

 

We used to take her down to see the rest of the family in BKK 2 or 3 times a year and we never expecte her to do anything in return other than be a Mum and a Grandmum.

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It's a nice gesture to support a family but the parents are not even 60 and both work. Some market sellers make decent money but maybe that's not the case here. 

 

Just happy to hear the BIL contributes.

 

The sisters and wife, can you not try to make something sustainable for them to make their own cash?

 

5k a month could be saved for a few months and make a fund for a food cart business or something.  

 

It's odd that you have not requested info as to why they need more cash. I'd hate to think people have been comparing the farang and having loose lips about your generousity. 

 

64 with retirement on the horizon I'd be concerned about this the same as you.

 

 

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Your getting bent over I wouldn't give em another cent. I live in Udon the BIL looks after the cows (about 1 hour morning and arvo) gets nothing does it to help the family. Mama and Papa might get a couple thousand on Mothers day and Fathers day and maybe Songkran and that's it. The whole family is proper Isaan so it costs them nothing to eat but I'll buy groceries and that occasionally amd we all eat out on special occasions. I don't know why if you are already supporting your not working uneducated wife why her parents need to be on a salary as well. 

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10 minutes ago, starky said:

Your getting bent over I wouldn't give em another cent. I live in Udon the BIL looks after the cows (about 1 hour morning and arvo) gets nothing does it to help the family. Mama and Papa might get a couple thousand on Mothers day and Fathers day and maybe Songkran and that's it. The whole family is proper Isaan so it costs them nothing to eat but I'll buy groceries and that occasionally amd we all eat out on special occasions. I don't know why if you are already supporting your not working uneducated wife why her parents need to be on a salary as well. 

Harsh but very true. 

But imagine the problems if he pulled back on this.

 

 

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38 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

It's a nice gesture to support a family but the parents are not even 60 and both work. Some market sellers make decent money but maybe that's not the case here. 

 

Just happy to hear the BIL contributes.

 

The sisters and wife, can you not try to make something sustainable for them to make their own cash?

 

5k a month could be saved for a few months and make a fund for a food cart business or something.  

 

It's odd that you have not requested info as to why they need more cash. I'd hate to think people have been comparing the farang and having loose lips about your generousity. 

 

64 with retirement on the horizon I'd be concerned about this the same as you.

 

 

 

My try at getting them to make own money and run business. 

 

Had a building built on front of lot near road with open cooking area, another room with large glass frig for cold drinks beer snacks etc. One side open with rollup door when closed and a enclosed room for storage resting etc. Wife’s an excellent cook and started a soup. I funded the stock for start up. Business was ok made 500-800 baht a day after paying Mama for help. Basically to keep wife “an idle mind is the devils playground “ from happening. went on week trip to US came back everything in the big commercial type store refrigerator gone. Snacks gone. The famil used it as “The Free Stroe”. It didn’t happen when I was around as I made everybody pay. Even myself. 

 

Round two:  3 months later. Middle sister and wife do the work and split profits. I funded the start up for goods again. Went good for 2-3 months 

then middle sister and boyfriend took the bank without splitting with wife which was 12,000 and took off. 

 

Round 3: wife trying to do good wants to start it again. We did lasted two weeks. 

 

Knocked out out the wall on the enclosed room. 1 section for moto , the other park the two cars. Nice garage! 

 

The latest I was asked to fund a massgage shop in BKK so when I die or gone the wife would have work. 

 

They say you can’t teach old dogs new tricks.... I finally said “No”. 

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