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DJ54

NE live in village monthly

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The Papa and Mama seem to be ok. Even though they can’t speak English Mama doesn’t ask me for money. Maybe she does through the wife. But then I question it.  

 

Now Papa he will hold his back meaning it hurts need go to village doctor  and says song lo  baht (200 baht).  Usually always on Friday. 

 

I caught on quick Saturday it’s when the guys are watching boxing at shop across the street. I’m told he was pretty good Muay Thai boxer

when he was younger (professional or semi). 

 

Sometimes if I’m in a good mood and he doesn’t ask I’ll give him 200 maybe once a month. If he asks I give him a chore to do like mow the yard (gas mower). 

 

He tried switching up on me and held stomach it hurt. So I go in the room get stomach medicine. He hasn’t tried that again. 

 

All in all the Mama (kinda) Papa and Older sister and Brother are ok. 

 

Anyway thanks to all and enjoy the week! By the way I really like it here except for the rugs on the wallet. 

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Hi DJ54 - after reading your last 2 replies I think you are joking or being shook down (robbed) by the family.

- You say your mother in law who is 9 years younger than you is asking your wife to give money even though she is working and receiving the 5K baht a month subsidy from you plus free housing, utilities and food.  Plus you paid a sinsot (dowry).

- Your father in law who you say is still working and is 7 years younger than you develops Friday heath issues which requires a 200 baht medical fee on an apparent regular basis.  Then you pay him extra to do yard chores after supporting him?  Maybe he wasn't a former Mai Thai fighter but a dairy farmer as he seems very proficient at milking things?

- Your sister in law buggered off with money from a business you financed?  The other business ventures did great didn't they?

 

It certainly sounds like you have their respect and admiration.  Possibly you could delay your retirement until you are 80 and continue to support the whole clan and their children?  Obviously you didn't pay the parents enough sinsot for them to live out their days in style.

 

And yes you should fund the proposed massage shop immediately in Bangkok so she doesn't get stressed out after you pass away.  It seems very sensible to me! 

 

 

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Just tell them all the $$ are gone. Everyone left around the next month are worth keeping. If you are alone then run away, quickly.
Their only job is you.


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  After my wife and I married, we lived with her parents for the first year. I had none the issues you are having. I paid for our share of food and monthly expenses which cost me half of what you are giving your in-laws. My wife's parents have never asked for money over the 4 years we have been married. We now have a home with 3 rice fields and when I have to go back to the US the MIL comes to stay. She doesn't freeload but cleans, cooks, does laundry and yard work. The FIL comes and prepares the fields and sows the seed, then returns during harvest time. I do give them money for their help, but leave it to my wife to set the amount. They also share the harvest. I have never felt disrespected by my wife's family as you are.  I question why you are even giving them any monthly money when they are already getting free room and board. For 5000 baht a month they could afford to live somewhere else. They now want more and the price will continue to go up in the future. If you refuse what can they do. If your wife doesn't support your decision then you know how much she actually loves you. The only way I would give them more is if they move out. 

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18 hours ago, DJ54 said:

 

My try at getting them to make own money and run business. 

 

Had a building built on front of lot near road with open cooking area, another room with large glass frig for cold drinks beer snacks etc. One side open with rollup door when closed and a enclosed room for storage resting etc. Wife’s an excellent cook and started a soup. I funded the stock for start up. Business was ok made 500-800 baht a day after paying Mama for help. Basically to keep wife “an idle mind is the devils playground “ from happening. went on week trip to US came back everything in the big commercial type store refrigerator gone. Snacks gone. The famil used it as “The Free Stroe”. It didn’t happen when I was around as I made everybody pay. Even myself. 

 

Round two:  3 months later. Middle sister and wife do the work and split profits. I funded the start up for goods again. Went good for 2-3 months 

then middle sister and boyfriend took the bank without splitting with wife which was 12,000 and took off. 

 

Round 3: wife trying to do good wants to start it again. We did lasted two weeks. 

 

Knocked out out the wall on the enclosed room. 1 section for moto , the other park the two cars. Nice garage! 

 

The latest I was asked to fund a massgage shop in BKK so when I die or gone the wife would have work. 

 

They say you can’t teach old dogs new tricks.... I finally said “No”. 

None of them really know how to run a business as I am sure you found out thought they seem to have an endless amount of business opportunities lol

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18 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

Harsh but very true. 

But imagine the problems if he pulled back on this.

 

 

The people of Isaan were poor waaaay before we got there and at 64 they will still be poor waaaay after he is gone. Hard to do but if you jag the right family none of this applies. The people are totally self sufficient and subsistence farmers and the good ones are way too proud to ask falangs for a handout. Having said that my in laws got a reasonable house want for nothing and if they were ever really in trouble I wouldnt hesitate to help them out. Much like in laws anywhere else in the world. Unfortunately it is foreigners like the OP that perpetuate this myth that we are bottomless pits of money, and as you correctly stated once you start how do you pull back? And if you can give 5 then why not 10 then why not 15 ...you kee niow falang! 

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11 hours ago, Martyjustice said:

Just tell them all the $$ are gone. Everyone left around the next month are worth keeping. If you are alone then run away, quickly.
Their only job is you.


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The only one left around will be the OP if he tries that one on

 

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And that would be bad, how??


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Can I agree with other posters and yourself in “not” increasing the monthly stipend, just purchase extra items as and when necessary. Any I increase and you’ll still be expected to pay up!

i don’t give my MIL anything mainly because there are 8 other offspring of hers that can get their hands in their pockets but certainly will help out occasionally as a good will gesture. The FIL is a complete waste of time. We built a good house for him which didn’t last too long as I had him kicked out for “inappropriate behaviour”, which is great as we have the house back now?? This had the full understanding of the family as he’s always been a vile creature - I wasn’t aware before building; thankfully!

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Forgot; business purchasing or creating will probably be s waste of time and money as, in due course, interest will be lost, assets stripped, and land or property sold. A Massage Shop in Bangkok ...... I’m lovin’ it ?

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19 hours ago, tweedledee2 said:

  After my wife and I married, we lived with her parents for the first year. I had none the issues you are having. I paid for our share of food and monthly expenses which cost me half of what you are giving your in-laws. My wife's parents have never asked for money over the 4 years we have been married. We now have a home with 3 rice fields and when I have to go back to the US the MIL comes to stay. She doesn't freeload but cleans, cooks, does laundry and yard work. The FIL comes and prepares the fields and sows the seed, then returns during harvest time. I do give them money for their help, but leave it to my wife to set the amount. They also share the harvest. I have never felt disrespected by my wife's family as you are.  I question why you are even giving them any monthly money when they are already getting free room and board. For 5000 baht a month they could afford to live somewhere else. They now want more and the price will continue to go up in the future. If you refuse what can they do. If your wife doesn't support your decision then you know how much she actually loves you. The only way I would give them more is if they move out. 

we do not have anything re   '' our home'' ''with three rice fields'' your wife and her family own  that.

you cannot own land or property (condo's apart) in Thailand. and if you got the property how long do  you think you would last if they wanted you out?

you will never be disrespected by the family as they share in the harvest from the three rice fields. and they know it will stay in the family (it is like money in their bank to them)

the fact that you give them money but your wife decides how much? sounds  the same as my wife tells me how much money to give them.

I have access to a house and rice fields outside Udon Thani, I paid for most of it, I own nothing.

does my wife love me ? never sure but maybe?. people and glasshouses is a funny saying innit

we are mostly all in the same boat in Thailand it just that some people see their boat as a different boat.

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On 5/15/2018 at 10:21 PM, DJ54 said:

Those of you that live in the NE appreciate your input. I live in village 1 hour from Udon 1 hour to Khon Kaen. 

Me/Wife/ her Mama and Papa live in our house. Pay older sister monthly to take care of cows. Pay middle sister

to clean house. Have been giving Mama and Papa I give 5,000 baht a nmonth. I buy most groceries pay electric etc. 

House is paid for and we built small house for the older sister. 

 

My question is the 5,000 a month fair and comparable to what other pay?  Reason being I was asked to give 10,000 and questioned why? 

 

Thanks

One word, 'WALK'.

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13 minutes ago, Rally123 said:

One word, 'WALK'.

To late he invested to much already. Emotions and money. 

 

How much do you pay sisters to take care of house and cows? 

 

My parents in "law" they need 3 000,- baht a month to eat from home delivery trucks. Everything served them on the doorstep. They have chickens, small vegetable garden and fruit, and sell also on marked. We do not give them nothing except some few thousends on new year, and so on. I have bought them cheap pohone and one washing machine, and a motorbike we use when we are home. Most of the time that motorbike is placed in the dining room next to the tv, and father in "law" ride it once and awhile just to keep battery loaded and of course to show of. Decent hard working people never ask for nothing. They also take care two foster childs from family. We pay also internet home so we keep contact, and have internet for our selves when home to. 

 

It seems a bit greedy if you ask me. It dependes how much they used to have before their daughter meet you, and maybe expectations have raised if you show off to much? 

 

I asked my gf to stopp posting show off pics on fb when we got together, and never post pics of cars, bikes, or trips we make, and I think that is wise to do. 

 

I have no advise to give you, but I think you already doing to much! 

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3 hours ago, Rally123 said:

One word, 'WALK'.

 

One different word.

 

"STAY".

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Wasn't expecting family to come along !

 

That's where it all went wrong - where were they before, in some shack working on a farm

Some people have had the parents come along (when older then these 2 )

Certainly not Free Loading sisters

 

Why on earth are you paying those freeloaders?  What does your wife do all day (watch them )

You pay for everything & give them a place to stay (isn't that enough ), if they want extra let them earn it 

These pair are taking the piss - do you think a thai family would pay their live in relatives to do chores

 

Your about to retire ! You had better get a grip on things

BIL sends 3000 a mth for 2 kids - That wouldn't cut it, who is paying the rest or is that just a minders fee

 

5000 is ample my wife gives elderly mother (unable to work ) 2000 p/mth

 

10,000 ? You have been had from the start.

Some people have actually got to fully support themselves in rented accommodation on that

 

Am I correct to say that are you Aussie 

That would be just over $400 AUD a mth alone - You must have a good super (most Aussies don't )

 

 

 

 

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