Retired paraplegic Brit: "I am like a prisoner in my own home"

[NetJunkie]

4 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Well i am more than happy for debate from anybody, if they are debating, not posting totally incorrect information.

As I said, I did not make up those stories, they came from various news channels. And you may have noticed that I am no longer referring to them.   ?

[colinneil]

8 minutes ago, NetJunkie said:

As I said, I did not make up those stories, they came from various news channels. And you may have noticed that I am no longer referring to them.   ?

No problem mate, many news outlets made incorrect comments about the murder.

Most of the info they got was2nd/ 3rd hand.

Now here is something make you laugh, wife at school a teacher says to her, listen about the murder, bla bla bla.

Wife told me nothing she said was correct, i said did you tell her she was wrong, ohh no if i tell her she was wrong, she lose face, and she angry with me.

[faraday]

52 minutes ago, NetJunkie said:

 

Why? Does everyone have to agree with Colin, is a little debate not allowed?

Because your comments seem to be too insensitive sometimes.

 

[NetJunkie]

Just now, faraday said:

Because your comments seem to be too insensitive sometimes.

 

 

Offence is taken, not given - man up buttercup.

[colinneil]

Just now, NetJunkie said:

 

Offence is taken, not given - man up buttercup.

Exactly what faraday posted, your comments are insensitive.

Now you are being offensive, bad form on your part.

[faraday]

2 minutes ago, NetJunkie said:

 

Offence is taken, not given - man up buttercup.

Here you go again. Is English not your first language?

 

Here's how it is.

 

A large majority of people on this thread are adults, we mostly know how to communicate, without being rude - as you have just been with your 'buttercup' comment.

 

Ok?

 

[NetJunkie]

2 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Exactly what faraday posted, your comments are insensitive.

Now you are being offensive, bad form on your part.

 

As I said, offence is taken not given, and everybody is different.

 

I see no reason why I should have to shut up because Faraday says so, or maybe I am missing some huge point about him and his worth ?

 

 

[NetJunkie]

2 minutes ago, faraday said:

Here you go again. Is English not your first language?

 

Here's how it is.

 

A large majority of people on this thread are adults, we mostly know how to communicate, without being rude - as you have just been with your 'buttercup' comment.

 

Ok?

 

 

I think being told to shut up is rude.

 

Anyway, enough banter for now. Enjoy your day.

[faraday]

7 minutes ago, NetJunkie said:

 

As I said, offence is taken not given, and everybody is different.

 

I see no reason why I should have to shut up because Faraday says so, or maybe I am missing some huge point about him and his worth ?

 

 

 

Yes, I used to be in Seal Team SAS, so I get big respect from everyone.

[simoh1490]

I haven't read the whole thread but I did read the exchange between you and geriatrickid where he advised you move back to the UK and I found that interesting. Starting next month I'm moving back for half of each year, primarily because I am starting to have mobility issues as the result of degenerative spine disease, in a few years I could easily be in a wheelchair if doctors here are to be believed - interestingly I'm moving to Lancaster so not a million miles from your neck of the woods. 

 

I have to say that making the move, even for only 6 out of every 12 months is daunting, these things are not easy to do as you approach 70 years of age, even less easy when you are not mobile I imagine. My wife/partner will come visit for two months out of the six so at the start it will be a sort of a holiday experience, the remaining 2 months plus 2 months will be an opportunity for her to experience life on her own and we both view that as a positive experience rather than a negative one, at some point she will be without me permanently hence it's perhaps a useful easing in experience.

 

I agree that if your wife doesn't intend to stay in the UK it's perhaps a waste of everyone's time moving her there to settle for only a limited time, my wife has no desire to live in the UK hence this is not an issue for us. Your wife having a job and pension here is also another good reason for you to stay, you having access to her health insurance is also a very sound reason to remain.

 

All those things said, I'm excited about returning, for me, it feels like the right thing to do.

 

Whatever you decide to do, good luck with it.

 

[JLCrab]

3 hours ago, colinneil said:

Crazy comment, but only what can be expected from people not aware of my situation.

<snip>

The more I read on here the more I suspect the big problem with the  wife's family is not one of money but that they just do not like you and that was the case even before your current circumstances.

[colinneil]

2 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

The more I read on here the more I suspect the big problem with the  wife's family is not one of money but that they just do not like you and that was the case even before your current circumstances.

Amazing deduction my dear watson, my wifes family have had a love hate relationship for a few years.

They love to hate me and vice versa.

After we married they never stopped help us buy this/ that, you farang got big money, yes stupid me, helped them once, since then money, money, never stops, as i posted before they are not poor farmers, but government employees.

 

 

[JLCrab]

[Justfine]

28 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

Life on TVF.

[jenny2017]

On 6/18/2018 at 8:18 AM, simoh1490 said:

I haven't read the whole thread but I did read the exchange between you and geriatrickid where he advised you move back to the UK and I found that interesting. Starting next month I'm moving back for half of each year, primarily because I am starting to have mobility issues as the result of degenerative spine disease, in a few years I could easily be in a wheelchair if doctors here are to be believed - interestingly I'm moving to Lancaster so not a million miles from your neck of the woods. 

 

I have to say that making the move, even for only 6 out of every 12 months is daunting, these things are not easy to do as you approach 70 years of age, even less easy when you are not mobile I imagine. My wife/partner will come visit for two months out of the six so at the start it will be a sort of a holiday experience, the remaining 2 months plus 2 months will be an opportunity for her to experience life on her own and we both view that as a positive experience rather than a negative one, at some point she will be without me permanently hence it's perhaps a useful easing in experience.

 

I agree that if your wife doesn't intend to stay in the UK it's perhaps a waste of everyone's time moving her there to settle for only a limited time, my wife has no desire to live in the UK hence this is not an issue for us. Your wife having a job and pension here is also another good reason for you to stay, you having access to her health insurance is also a very sound reason to remain.

 

All those things said, I'm excited about returning, for me, it feels like the right thing to do.

 

Whatever you decide to do, good luck with it.

 

You’re making a very important point, I wasn’t even thinking about before. Collin’s access to her social security is something that’s worth more than anything else right now.

 

His pension would just melt away like ice cubes in Thailand, back in the UK.

 

  I’ve had a good friend who had the same problem after a strange accident where a GI was driving an Army truck and tried to turn around on a highway at night! My friend and his mates, people I also knew well, had no chance when they hit the truck with almost 100 km/h. My friend somehow crawled out, but his spine at his neck was destroyed and all movements suddenly ended on the same night.

 

Even when he never had financial problems, he constantly needed others for almost everything. There’s the pee problem and the days when he might have to take meds to empty his digestive system. Then the problem with a wound body, not going into details now. And that goes on and on and on. Trying to lift a body alone is a torture for any woman.

 

 For those who’ve never experienced that, quite unbelievable. I truly hope that the Thai doctors were wrong with their prognosis and you’ll have a much better future.

 

 It must be very difficult for all involved and when his wife comes back from work, the real work actually starts. I’ve read some posts before that some relatives give a damn about him and just left him alone for quite a long time. I was just wondering why they hate him so much? 

 

I don’t really understand why you believe that it will be a positive experience for both of you to go back? Is it possible that you’ve forgotten how it is to live in a cold and rainy country? And not just the country is cold, also many people are.

 

 

My wife was never in Europe and I believe that she’d not want to live at a place where I don’t feel at home anymore. The last time I had been there was after a motorcycle accident in LOS and the plate at my Tibia head was done so unprofessional that I thought I had to get it done in a more developed country.

 

Unfortunately, did the horror really start when I’d almost lost my leg after a Staphylococcus Aureus infection, which was part of the artificial knee joint I received from a what I thought good hospital in Germany. But none of the daily visiting doctors could figure that out, and I was even sent to rehab with a wound that never healed.

 

The doctors were not even thinking why the wound didn’t close after so many weeks and my luck was an older nurse who basically saved my leg from amputation. Her experience saved my leg and I’m still thankful that angels like her exist. But they are very rare.

 

Another female patient was not so lucky and they had no other choice than amputating her leg. I was so close to it, but nobody really told me that. I think I figured that out after I came back to Thailand. I really had to go through hell and don’t want to go into more details now. Losing my plane ticket was the smallest problem, and now I know what hell must be like.  

 

The few days I was sent “home” on crutches, I was staying at a place for homeless people, an experience I’d never want to have again. Not wanting to ask any relatives, or friends was finally a big mistake. Alcoholics, druggies, and killers lived there, and "only" two people got killed in the four months and some days when I had a "flat" there.

 

After all, I’m lucky that I was in the hospital for the most time.

 

Then I had to send more money to my family and I didn’t even know if I’d ever make it back. I did think about ending my life and I’d have done it before the amputation of my right leg.

 

I’m certain that Collins was already thinking about leaving this planet, but ironically, he couldn’t even do that alone. Sorry, mate, no intention to hurt you now.

 

OP, I hope that you’ve really thought that through, once you’ve made the final move there’s no easy way going back. You never know how things are developing between your partner and you once you’re gone.

 

I’m not trying to tell you that you’re doing anything wrong, I was just trying to let you know how I’d feel, but well, people are different.

 

 It’s strange what others see as a problem when you have to walk in such shoes. Best of luck to both of you. 

[lvr181]

Whatever decisions are made, it is take in one hand and give, in the other. And such decisions, of course, can only be made by those involved. To all of you, I can only wish you well as you 'struggle' with your predicament.

 

And I remind myself "But for the grace of God, go I."

 

Take care.

[MyFriend You]

Colin, move down here to Jom Tien, Pattaya, or The Dark (Fun) Side quiet, most condo/apt complex's are wheelchair friendly, many foreign disabled folks - yeah, it is well known, you love your wife and she loves you, but at some point we need to think about quailty of life - as I said in a previous post, you have a unique circumstance and could qualify for a gun license.  I am selfish, my quality of life is first and foremost.

 

Peace.