#DontTellMeHowToDress, Thai women say

[Stargeezr]

Women around the world should be able to dress as they chose without worry of some jerk

getting so excited that they feel they have the right to rape. Any rapist who gets caught, should

at least lose one of his nuts, besides going to jail for a long time. Just my opinion of how

rapists get treated.

Geezer

[Bluespunk]

1 hour ago, RickTik said:

There is no doubt that a woman, or anyone, has the right to wear whatever they want without being raped or sexually abused. However, remember that, biologically, when men see a lot of "skin" an attractive woman is exposing, their mind shift gears.  Why? Because one of the root forces of human survival is reproduction. That "force" is elevated when an attractive and sexy woman exposes her body. Smart women are selective about when they expose their skin and female features. Ask yourself - do you want a bunch of "roosters" chasing you in a "sausage fest", or do you want to be attractive to only one person you are attracted to?  Your internal answer to that question will tell you how to appropriately dress.   

The lunatics have taken over the asylum 
The lunatics have taken over the asylum 
The lunatics have taken over the asylum, take away my right to choose 
The lunatics have taken over the asylum, take away my point of view 
The lunatics have taken over the asylum 
The lunatics have taken over the asylum, take away my dignity 
Take these things away from me 
The lunatics have taken over the asylum 
The lunatics have taken over the asylum, take away my family
Take away the right to speak 
The lunatics have taken over the asylum take away my point of view 
Take away my right to choose

 

Fun Boy Three

[micmichd]

16 hours ago, impulse said:

What's next?  #donttellmenottowearmybling? 

 

Because I have every right to wear my Mr T wannabe kit anywhere I want, and anyone who would steal it from me is in the wrong, not me for wearing it out on the walking street drunk at 3:00 AM.

 

Like it or not, certain behaviors put us at increased risk of being victimized.  Like wearing bling on Walking Street at 03:00, leaving the car running while inside the 7/11, walking around with $100 bills hanging out of our pockets, and (sadly) dressing provocatively.  In every case, the perpetrator is absolutely wrong. 

 

But if you want to reduce your risk of being a victim, avoid behaviors that increase those risks.

Better to be able to defend yourself. 

In case you need help, don't cry "help" - cry "fire!" instead. 

[impulse]

14 hours ago, Bluespunk said:

14 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

You`re deviating from the subject and just to remind you: Don`t Tell Me How To Dress, Thai women say.

 

This is about women dressing sensibly and maybe not bringing unwanted attentions upon them. Now I`m waiting for the question; well, what is dressing sensibly? I`ll answer before being asked; it`s using common sense.

Women are free to dress as they will. 

 

The way women dress is not the cause of rape. 

 

The cause of rape is rapist scum. 

 

And the cause of pickpocketing isn't tourists walking around with $100 bills hanging out of their pockets.  It's thieving scum.  And since we can't rid the world of thieving scum (or rapist scum), I'm going to suggest it's prudent to reduce our attractiveness to them- thieves and rapists.  Being what they are, they're still going to victimize someone.  I can only lower the odds that it will be me or my loved ones.

 

You can obviously advise your loved ones any way you want. 

 

But I'm going to suggest to any of my loved ones visiting Thailand that they don't walk around with $100 bills hanging out of their pockets.  And that my nieces dress conservatively, especially in areas known for alcohol and debauchery.  To lower their odds of becoming the victims of scum.  Yeah, it's not fair.  But that's the world we live in.

 

I can't imagine anyone suggesting to their daughter or niece- "You go girl, wear that sexy thing to go drinking out on the town tonight.  Because it's your right."

 

[Bluespunk]

2 minutes ago, impulse said:

 

And the cause of pickpocketing isn't tourists walking around with $100 bills hanging out of their pockets.  It's thieving scum.  And since we can't rid the world of thieving scum (or rapist scum), I'm going to suggest it's prudent to reduce our attractiveness to them- thieves and rapists.  Being what they are, they're still going to victimize someone.  I can only lower the odds that it will be me or my loved ones.

 

You can obviously advise your loved ones any way you want. 

 

But I'm going to suggest to any of my loved ones visiting Thailand that they don't walk around with $100 bills hanging out of their pockets.  And that my nieces dress conservatively, especially in areas known for alcohol and debauchery.  To lower their odds of becoming the victims of scum.  Yeah, it's not fair.  But that's the world we live in.

 

I can't imagine anyone suggesting to their daughter or niece- "You go girl, wear that sexy thing to go drinking out on the town tonight.  Because it's your right."

 

The only cause of rape is rapist scum who rape.

 

Nothing else can be blamed.

[JestSetter]

There are sociopaths in many countries and in many institutions. These people are sick. 

 

My wife just revealed to me that one of her relatives attempted to touch her. Her sister was also targeted. Just recently a person was checking the house of a 13 year old daughter of her sister. Seeing how the guys talk and how they act, considering the losing face culture and the patriarchy here, I have no doubt that it is an endemic problem. She also confirm there are many stories with monks and boys as well as katoys. Btw, none of the people assaulted complained or told their parents.

 

There are many people who have a vested interest in keeping the status quo.

[giddyup]

5 minutes ago, impulse said:

 I can't imagine anyone suggesting to their daughter or niece- "You go girl, wear that sexy thing to go drinking out on the town tonight.  Because it's your right."

 

You do know that most rapes are committed when the woman is walking home from work or actually at home in bed? 

 

Myth: Women are most likely to be raped after dark by a stranger, so women shouldn't go out alone at night.

 

Fact: Only around 10% of rapes are committed by 'strangers'. Around 90% of rapes are committed by known men, and often by someone who the survivor has previously trusted or even loved. People are raped in their homes, their workplaces and other settings where they have previously felt safe. Rapists can be friends, colleagues, clients, neighbours, family members, partners or exes. Risk of rape shouldn't be used as an excuse to control women's movements and restrict their rights and freedom.

 

[impulse]

8 minutes ago, Bluespunk said:

The only cause of rape is rapist scum who rape.

 

Nothing else can be blamed.

 

On that, we agree.  Just like the only cause for malaria and dengue is a parasite, carried by mosquitoes.

 

We'll never wipe out the mosquitoes, so isn't it prudent to take steps to reduce the odds that we'll be the ones who get bit?

 

I'm always amazed at the guys who wouldn't dream of leaving their keys in the car, leaving their front and rear doors open while they sleep, wear pounds of gold out on the town, or walk around with $100 bills hanging out of each pocket.  All of those are God-given rights in a free society, and all are foolish acts that increase the odds of becoming a victim.  Yet, the same guys don't see the wisdom in suggesting that women take precautions to reduce their risk of being the one victimized tonight.

 

[giddyup]

Just now, impulse said:

 

On that, we agree.  Just like the only cause for malaria and dengue is a parasite, carried by mosquitoes.

 

We'll never wipe out the mosquitoes, so isn't it prudent to take steps to reduce the odds that we'll the ones who get bit?

 

I'm always amazed at the guys who wouldn't dream of leaving their keys in the car, leaving their front and rear doors open while they sleep, wear pounds of gold out on the town, or walk around with $100 bills hanging out of each pocket.  All of those are God-given rights in a free society, and all are foolish acts that increase the odds of becoming a victim.  Yet, the same guys don't see the wisdom in suggesting that women take precautions to reduce their risk of being the one victimized tonight.

 

Read my post #62.

[Bluespunk]

1 minute ago, impulse said:

 

On that, we agree.  Just like the only cause for malaria and dengue is a parasite, carried by mosquitoes.

 

We'll never wipe out the mosquitoes, so isn't it prudent to take steps to reduce the odds that we'll be the ones who get bit?

 

I'm always amazed at the guys who wouldn't dream of leaving their keys in the car, leaving their front and rear doors open while they sleep, wear pounds of gold out on the town, or walk around with $100 bills hanging out of each pocket.  All of those are God-given rights in a free society, and all are foolish acts that increase the odds of becoming a victim.  Yet, the same guys don't see the wisdom in suggesting that women take precautions to reduce their risk of being the one victimized tonight.

 

What I'm suggesting, is we don't blame the victims of the filth who rape.

[impulse]

2 minutes ago, Bluespunk said:

What I'm suggesting, is we don't blame the victims of the filth who rape.

  

I'd agree if, as reported in the OP, it's blaming the victim.  As another poster suggested, I'm hoping that's a translation problem.

 

But after every accident and close call we have on the job, we do a "lessons learned" exercise the figure out what happened, why it happened and what the various parties did to increase or decrease the odds, and increase or mitigate the effects.  That requires some soul searching and often some uncomfortable admissions.  Otherwise, nothing is learned.

 

I reject the possibility that we're all just random prey and that nothing we do affects our safety and the odds of being a victim.  On any given night, 99.9+% of women weren't raped.  It's impossible to rid the world of rapists.  So the question becomes, how can a woman increase the odds she'll be in the safe 99.9% and not a victim.  I'd contend that the way they dress and behave affects those odds.

 

[giddyup]

2 minutes ago, impulse said:

  

I'd agree if, as reported in the OP, it's blaming the victim.  As another poster suggested, I'm hoping that's a translation problem.

 

But after every accident and close call we have on the job, we do a "lessons learned" exercise the figure out what happened, why it happened and what the various parties did to increase or decrease the odds, and increase or mitigate the effects.  That requires some soul searching and often some uncomfortable admissions.  Otherwise, nothing is learned.

 

I reject the possibility that we're all just random prey and that nothing we do affects our safety and the odds of being a victim.  On any given night, 99.9+% of women weren't raped.  It's impossible to rid the world of rapists.  So the question becomes, how can a woman increase the odds she'll be in the safe 99.9% and not a victim.  I'd contend that the way they dress and behave affects those odds.

 

You seem to be deliberately ignoring this, so read it and be informed.

 

Myth: Women are most likely to be raped after dark by a stranger, so women shouldn't go out alone at night.

 

Fact: Only around 10% of rapes are committed by 'strangers'. Around 90% of rapes are committed by known men, and often by someone who the survivor has previously trusted or even loved. People are raped in their homes, their workplaces and other settings where they have previously felt safe. Rapists can be friends, colleagues, clients, neighbours, family members, partners or exes. Risk of rape shouldn't be used as an excuse to control women's movements and restrict their rights and freedom.

[Bluespunk]

3 minutes ago, impulse said:

  

I'd agree if, as reported in the OP, it's blaming the victim.  As another poster suggested, I'm hoping that's a translation problem.

 

But after every accident and close call we have on the job, we do a "lessons learned" exercise the figure out what happened, why it happened and what the various parties did to increase or decrease the odds, and increase or mitigate the effects.  That requires some soul searching and often some uncomfortable admissions.  Otherwise, nothing is learned.

 

I reject the possibility that we're all just random prey and that nothing we do affects our safety and the odds of being a victim.  On any given night, 99.9+% of women weren't raped.  It's impossible to rid the world of rapists.  So the question becomes, how can a woman increase the odds she'll be in the safe 99.9% and not a victim.  I'd contend that the way they dress and behave affects those odds.

 

My comments have been aimed at posters blaming the victims for how they dress, not the OP.

 

I reject any and all forms of victim blaming.

 

100%

[theguyfromanotherforum]

How's that hashtag goin'?

[impulse]

8 minutes ago, giddyup said:

You seem to be deliberately ignoring this, so read it and be informed.

 

Myth: Women are most likely to be raped after dark by a stranger, so women shouldn't go out alone at night.

 

Fact: Only around 10% of rapes are committed by 'strangers'. Around 90% of rapes are committed by known men, and often by someone who the survivor has previously trusted or even loved. People are raped in their homes, their workplaces and other settings where they have previously felt safe. Rapists can be friends, colleagues, clients, neighbours, family members, partners or exes. Risk of rape shouldn't be used as an excuse to control women's movements and restrict their rights and freedom.

 

I'm not ignoring anything.  Most money is also stolen by known actors, often trusted people, and often in the home. 

 

That doesn't mean it's safe to walk around with $100 bills hanging out of your pockets.  Even though you have every right to do so.

 

[DrTuner]

Yeah yeah. If I was a female and wanted to maximize my chances of getting raped, I'd wear a thong in some Thai bar filled with motocy taxis, flirt with them and get drunk out of my mind, after which I'd of course accept a ride back to my place 3am. Just because I'd read feminist manifestos and felt invincible, sod the real world, the gentlemen would never touch me yes?

 

Somehow men have more common sense and don't go into Hell's Angels clubhouse shouting Harleys suck gay balls, expecting not to get their heads bashed in.

[observer90210]

Absolutely...to those bickering or emotional and maybe ignored what is rational,  your are all very right. I appologize to have offended anybody with my posts.

 

Your are correct,  as It is their full right to ride a bike with no helmet, no insurance and then expect the entire world to fund their expenses if they crash into a mini van.

 

It is their full right to have unprotected group sex with a hoard of ladyboys and bar girls  and then curse the entire world if they contract aids.

 

It is their full right to jump and swim into the sea, despite the red flag and the upcomming storm and drown with no fault of theirs........and so on....and on...

 

Very true...it is never the victim's fault, as some reputed scolars say here.

 

Wish you all a nice afternoon.

[ELVIS123456]

The thing that is so amazing about this thread is the total lack of reality shown by those who dont seem to understand reality.

 

No one is blaming the victim - stop being offended by common sense - and maybe some common sense will cget in (and stay).

 

Look - your teenage daughter wants to post a semi-bude picture of herself (not pornographic)  and also give her phone number and address.  As any father, there is something seriously wrong with you if you didnt tell her no.  It is not about her 'rights' it is about common sense. 

 

Actually, I just had a thought - the offended have not had a daughter - of course. They have never seen or dealt with the absolute ridiculous things that young girls think and want to do. They could not have, or they wouldn't argue aboput victim blaming or taking offence.  Well take it from one father - young girls need advicxe and protection much more than they need rights and empowerment. It aint the movies in the real world - young girls do silly things and get into trouble - and they dont all have an Uncle Buck to save them.

 

[Sir Dude]

Rapists should just be shot...nuff said.

[Cancerian]

20 hours ago, rkidlad said:

You’ve both perfectly epitomized how this poor attitude just makes some people feel it’s okay to sexually abuse women because they feel the woman is somehow to blame. 

 

Our attitudes towards women are constantly changing for the better. It’s attitides like this that take us back. 

 

 

I dont see any blame toward the women. Attitudes like this that take us back? 

No its naive attitudes like yours

[rkidlad]

16 minutes ago, Cancerian said:

I dont see any blame toward the women. Attitudes like this that take us back? 

No its naive attitudes like yours

Yes, when you tell a woman how to dress, you’re implying that she is partly to blame if anything happens to her. Which she is 0% to blame regardless of what she wears. 

 

Naive attitude? Have a look at how Dustin Hoffman replied when asked about his inappropriate behavior towards his female costars back in the 80s. He said “it was a different time back then”. Meaning he thought it was okay. No, it was never okay. It’s only because our attitudes are constantly changing that more and more people are realizing it’s simply not okay. They may still wanna do it, but they know they can’t or they’ll be in deep trouble. 

 

There will always be people who want to do bad stuff. The more people who condemn it the more it becomes a big no-no in society. That starts by completely condemning it. 

[impulse]

1 hour ago, rkidlad said:

There will always be people who want to do bad stuff. The more people who condemn it the more it becomes a big no-no in society. That starts by completely condemning it. 

 

That may take a while.  It's taken thousands of years so far.  In the meantime, it's probably wise to reduce your risk of being selected as the next victim.

[Jonah Tenner]

18 hours ago, Bluespunk said:

Women are free to dress as they will. 

 

The way women dress is not the cause of rape. 

 

The cause of rape is rapist scum. 

 

Usually men raised by women...

[Bluespunk]

3 minutes ago, Jonah Tenner said:

Usually men raised by women...

Shock, horror, men are raised as children by...women.

 

Who knew...

[rkidlad]

1 hour ago, impulse said:

 

That may take a while.  It's taken thousands of years so far.  In the meantime, it's probably wise to reduce your risk of being selected as the next victim.

It hasn’t taken 1000s of years. Look at the attitudes over the last 40 years. They’ve dramatically changed and are only changing more quickly. That’s a tiny period of time considering how long humans have been around. 

 

How about not concerning yourself with what people choose to wear and just focus on condemning any form of sexual assault or harassment. That way people will get the message more quickly. 

[BritManToo]

4 hours ago, ELVIS123456 said:

Look - your teenage daughter wants to post a semi-bude picture of herself (not pornographic)  and also give her phone number and address.  As any father, there is something seriously wrong with you if you didnt tell her no.  It is not about her 'rights' it is about common sense. 

I thought children were considered 'property' of parents in Thailand (at least until they're 20 years old).

If they're property, then they don't have any rights (sons or daughters).

When they're adults living in their own home, paid for with their own money, they can do what they like.

[impulse]

20 minutes ago, rkidlad said:

It hasn’t taken 1000s of years. Look at the attitudes over the last 40 years. They’ve dramatically changed and are only changing more quickly. That’s a tiny period of time considering how long humans have been around. 

 

How about not concerning yourself with what people choose to wear and just focus on condemning any form of sexual assault or harassment. That way people will get the message more quickly. 

 

Because in the real world of today, people can reduce their risk of being a victim.  Not hanging out in dark alleys at 3:00 AM is one of the ways.  Not wearing provocative clothes is another.

 

You can rail all you want about the fairness of it all, and the political correctness.  But we aren't just random prey.  We can have an affect on our odds of being the next victim.  And make no mistake, there will be victims- no matter how much we hold our breath, jump up and down, and condemn it.

 

 

[rkidlad]

Just now, impulse said:

 

Because in the real world of today, people can reduce their risk of being a victim.  Not hanging out in dark alleys at 3:00 AM is one of the ways.  Not wearing provocative clothes is another.

 

You can rail all you want about the fairness of it all, and the political correctness.  But we aren't just random prey.  We can have an affect on our odds of being the next victim.  And make no mistake, there will be victims- no matter how much we hold our breath, jump up and down, and condemn it.

 

 

Yes, there will always be victims. But with the right attitude, there will be far fewer victims. 

 

If you continue to tell women how they should dress, you’re just enabling people who want an excuse. Which means there will be more victims. 

 

It will never stop completely, but it will happen less. It’s happening less day by day now. Some people might not think grabbing a woman is wrong, but they’re learning that society does. And social pressure is one hell of a thing.