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Pilotman

Expats who want to leave, if they could

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3 hours ago, Weasel100 said:

I am by no means "infantalised" although I do understand what you mean. I am my own man and the sole boss of my finances which is I admit something that my Thai wife has had trouble understanding over the years that we've been together. I often have to remind her that she has absolutely no place in my financial affairs and that her thoughts and opinions about how I should spend my money are neither wanted nor welcome.
Nonetheless, as I've said, she is the most honest person I know (including yours truly) and has never once in nearly six years tried to take any money from me that was not freely given. I am very fortunate to have someone like Noo to help me cope with all that life in Thailand throws at me (not to baby me).

and do you insist on a say on how she spends the money?

 

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3 hours ago, altcarrbob said:

Nothing is everything,and everything is nothing,sums up Thailand,I just want stability in life again,something I admire and keep whatever standards I was born to believe in...here its <deleted> Mickey Mouse at play,just a pair of women's tits and arse on show keeps the pecker up...I'm <deleted> well sick of it,just want out even for a short spell

I am genuinely sorry to hear that you're that unhappy. I have my times when I get low and very very down on this "new" life of mine in Thailand.
But this is mostly how I cope as best I can:
1  I don't go out if I don't have to - I stay at home as much as possible. A good book and movies and TV series on TV or disc are therapeutic. Days pass quickly and pleasantly
2  I don't socialize with Thais at all

3  I socialize when I want to or need to only with falang people. They're not all nice of course but I find that just about all Westerners have similar values. I have only one good falang (British) friend who lives anywhere near me in my part of Thailand. I value his friendship very highly. Cultivate a few good friendships with falang people 
4  I stay away from bars and restaurants - there's nothing wrong with having a drink or three at home, even if I'm alone

5  I am trying to learn to play guitar. This also occupies the mind and helps to pass the time that I might spend alone. So, take up a hobby.
6  if you own a house or a condo, try to avoid having work done around the house or condo by Thai people. My experience is that they are most often pretty poor at their work and they have frequently ripped me off. Just my experience. If others have had good experiences then you are I think lucky

All in all, that makes for a pretty pleasant life. Or at least it suits me.
I hope this will be of some help to others out there who might, like me, have a hard time dealing with Thais and Thailand.
 

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1 minute ago, AYJAYDEE said:

and do you insist on a say on how she spends the money?

 

I don't understand the question. I've already said that my wife has no involvement in my finances. Are you asking whether I try to involve myself in how she spends her money. If so, the answer is a clear no. If I don't want my wife telling me how to spend my money, then I would hardly expect her to tolerate my interfering in her financial affairs

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Just now, Weasel100 said:

I don't understand the question. I've already said that my wife has no involvement in my finances. Are you asking whether I try to involve myself in how she spends her money. If so, the answer is a clear no. If I don't want my wife telling me how to spend my money, then I would hardly expect her to tolerate my interfering in her financial affairs

your married, its "our' money

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Just now, AYJAYDEE said:

your married, its "our' money

So, I receive a pension from Australia after 30 years of hard work there. And THAT becomes my wife's money when I come to Thailand and marry her. Forgive me but that's a very old fashioned way of looking at it.
As it is, I provide for both my Thai wife and I very well. She has nothing to complain about  

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12 minutes ago, Weasel100 said:

So, I receive a pension from Australia after 30 years of hard work there. And THAT becomes my wife's money when I come to Thailand and marry her. Forgive me but that's a very old fashioned way of looking at it.
As it is, I provide for both my Thai wife and I very well. She has nothing to complain about  

No, it's you who has a very old fashioned way of looking at it.

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Let's just agree to disagree here.
If you were me and chose to hand over your pension money to a new Thai wife, that's your decision. It's not one that I've made or will make in the future.
Through the extraordinarily beneficial superannuation scheme under which my Australian Government pension is paid, if we are still married at the time I pass from this world, my Thai wife will be entitled to 67 per cent of whatever benefit I receive at the time of my death, subject to CPI adjustment twice a year.

So, she will be well cared for financially by me before I go and by the Australian Government when I'm gone.
Not a bad outcome for a Thai lady I'd suggest. 

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7 minutes ago, Weasel100 said:

Let's just agree to disagree here.
If you were me and chose to hand over your pension money to a new Thai wife, that's your decision. It's not one that I've made or will make in the future.
Through the extraordinarily beneficial superannuation scheme under which my Australian Government pension is paid, if we are still married at the time I pass from this world, my Thai wife will be entitled to 67 per cent of whatever benefit I receive at the time of my death, subject to CPI adjustment twice a year.

So, she will be well cared for financially by me before I go and by the Australian Government when I'm gone.
Not a bad outcome for a Thai lady I'd suggest. 

I don't know about you, but I figure its me who got the good outcome too

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39 minutes ago, AYJAYDEE said:
41 minutes ago, Weasel100 said:

I don't understand the question. I've already said that my wife has no involvement in my finances. Are you asking whether I try to involve myself in how she spends her money. If so, the answer is a clear no. If I don't want my wife telling me how to spend my money, then I would hardly expect her to tolerate my interfering in her financial affairs

your married, its "our' money

She probably feels it's her money.

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2 minutes ago, tropo said:

She probably feels it's her money.

no she doesnt

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1 hour ago, Weasel100 said:

I am genuinely sorry to hear that you're that unhappy. I have my times when I get low and very very down on this "new" life of mine in Thailand.
But this is mostly how I cope as best I can:
1  I don't go out if I don't have to - I stay at home as much as possible. A good book and movies and TV series on TV or disc are therapeutic. Days pass quickly and pleasantly
2  I don't socialize with Thais at all

3  I socialize when I want to or need to only with falang people. They're not all nice of course but I find that just about all Westerners have similar values. I have only one good falang (British) friend who lives anywhere near me in my part of Thailand. I value his friendship very highly. Cultivate a few good friendships with falang people 
4  I stay away from bars and restaurants - there's nothing wrong with having a drink or three at home, even if I'm alone

5  I am trying to learn to play guitar. This also occupies the mind and helps to pass the time that I might spend alone. So, take up a hobby.
6  if you own a house or a condo, try to avoid having work done around the house or condo by Thai people. My experience is that they are most often pretty poor at their work and they have frequently ripped me off. Just my experience. If others have had good experiences then you are I think lucky

All in all, that makes for a pretty pleasant life. Or at least it suits me.
I hope this will be of some help to others out there who might, like me, have a hard time dealing with Thais and Thailand.
 

Well, I'm deliriously happy in Thailand and we couldn't be more different!

 

1. I don't feel satisfied if I don't go out at least once every day. Today, bought a new mouse at Tukcom, had lunch at the Beer Garden and took my wife to the dentist. Every day is different.

2.. I mainly socialise with Thais, don't have any close Western friends.

3. I socialise most days with Thai friends.

4. I very rarely drink at home but do visit restraunts a lot but only have the odd beer.

5. My hobby is Gym/sauna which I try to visit as often as I can. made several Thai friends there (some of them senior BiB - could be useful!)

6. I've just bought a house and had extensive work done on it, all by Thais, some bad, most good, some a rip off. most not.

 

On the subject of providing for my Thai wife, I have left her all my monies in my will. My UK wife of 30 years gets my pension. Seems fair to me.

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I guess I'm one of the lucky ones since I have a Norwegian passport,  Which basically means I can go back to Norway any time and find a place to stay for minimum 3 months and get back into the welfare system , free healthcare and all that.  Even without an income there's always help if you ask for it.  

 

Right now I am happy here in Thailand , but I have a dream when I retire to live 6 months in Norway during the summer season and 6 months in Thailand. 

The amazing nature , mountains and fjords , and the fresh air, it's something special that Thailand can never give me. But the cold winters I will not miss. 

   

 

 

 

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40 minutes ago, AYJAYDEE said:

no she doesnt

Of course she does.

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6 minutes ago, balo said:

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones since I have a Norwegian passport,  Which basically means I can go back to Norway any time and find a place to stay for minimum 3 months and get back into the welfare system , free healthcare and all that.  Even without an income there's always help if you ask for it.  

 

Right now I am happy here in Thailand , but I have a dream when I retire to live 6 months in Norway during the summer season and 6 months in Thailand. 

The amazing nature , mountains and fjords , and the fresh air, it's something special that Thailand can never give me. But the cold winters I will not miss. 

   

 

 

 

as a canadian I understand your dream and can assure you that it's even better than you imagine.

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1 minute ago, tropo said:

Of course she does.

no she doesnt

 

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