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If You'Re Listening To Music Now... Whats Playing? (2018)


CharlieH

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Back in the day, when The Reef was the friendliest pub in the neighbourhood, though it was a bit of a dive, and Nessie was the prettiest sea-monster serving there, back before they got the glass door that made it look like a fish tank, back before they got rid of the aquarium, my former colleague the Yorkshire Miner came to visit.

 

We'd warmed up in SId's, which is as square a pub as you could set a set-square to.  But the Miner likes a bit of music, so I took him to the Reef.  As we pushed open the heavy wooden door, I thought it prudent to warn him (he's possibly a bit traditional, and not as culturally broad-minded as you or I) "I have to say, the Reef is a bit of an Indian pub" and as we stepped in, the band struck up Apache

 

The previous time I'd been out with The Miner was to a private party in Taipei, and we'd adjourned to Carnages' which was not far away, but the music was not to our liking, nor the opportunities to join in and sing, so we bailed into a taxi.  I made best use of my limited Chinese, heading for a karaoke we'd seen not far away...

"Karaokebar.  No expensive women"

Well, the driver clearly didn't know about the place up the road

"I'm not going to that place up in Tien Mou by your home"

"I'm sure we're not going there, relax, the driver knows what he's doing"

And to be fair, I can't fault the driver.  I had some doubts as we walked in - it was not what I had expected - a bigger hall, more brightly lit, but you could see what was going on, where everything was

I strode past the DJ - "You - Tom Jones, Delilah!" to the barman "You - beer!"

"SIx for six hundred" or something - all I understood was 'six for...' and I assumed it was a good deal.

We sat down and cracked open a beer.

"I'm not too comfortable here"

"Why not?" I asked
"It's a gay club"

"No expensive women" I explained. "And he's going to play Tom Jones"

Well, I was asking too much of his scruples, and he drained his can and headed off.  To be frank, I was not too comfortable either, but there was four cans left waiting to be drunk and 
".. I SAW THE SHIMMERING SHADOWS OF LOVE ON HER BLIND"

They were probably as glad as I was when I left - I almost said "... to see the back of me"

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