chickenslegs Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 12 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said: Yup , although I prefer to say “ borrowed “ , I gave them back after posting here Viz, what a great comic that was. Very apt for the times. Remember that Farmer bloke in it? "Get orf moi laaaand!" There were so many funny characters in it, can't remember most of 'em. ...what was I saying....?? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Viz, what a great comic that was. Very apt for the times. Remember that Farmer bloke in it? "Get orf moi laaaand!" There were so many funny characters in it, can't remember most of 'em. ...what was I saying....?? Yup, was some great stuff in there !!A buddy of mine named his band “ Billys Fridge “ as a tribute !I liked “ Top Tips “ , always practical advice [emoji51] Back on topic, here’s something from way way back , when “ moist” was not even funny [emoji16] 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post faraday Posted January 17, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 17, 2019 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted January 17, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 17, 2019 Some practical advice for fellow members !!DISCLAIMER: Attempt these at your own peril !! ( especially 3 and 5 ) 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 After thrashing away for a good five minutes, the man lay back on the bed smiling smugly. "How was it for you, darling, was it really good?" "Quite painless actually," she replied. "I never felt a thing." If only the young man had been more sexually experienced and better read! When she asked him if he fancied something from the Karma Sutra, he replied, "Thanks, but not for me. Indian food has me sick all night." "Oh Tracy, I love you," he simpered. "Please tell me there's no one else in your life." "Of course there's no one else," she replied. "Do you think I'd go to the cinema with a nerd like you, if there was another man around?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 I am not bragging but; 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 The 16-year-old son of the house was smitten with the au pair who looked after his baby sister. He was sure he was in love and did all he could to attract her attention. Finally, his efforts were successful and he enticed the au pair into bed when his parents were out. But to his horror, he couldn't get Percy to rise and felt profoundly embarrassed. "Don't worry about it," said the au pair gently. "Sometimes this happens to your father as well." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 The cheesiest pick up line I have ever seen !! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post laislica Posted January 17, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 17, 2019 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post laislica Posted January 17, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 17, 2019 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted January 17, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 17, 2019 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Crossy Posted January 18, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 18, 2019 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 (edited) On 1/16/2019 at 11:07 PM, chickenslegs said: The Dentist said he couldn't pull it out at the moment but he would be very happy to fill it for her for as long as she wanted! She was numb with shock when the stuttering Gynecologist just turned a blind eye and lent a hand, or two, to get on with it and then apologised for his poor delivery. Edited January 18, 2019 by scottiejohn 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 (edited) On 1/17/2019 at 3:06 PM, Andrew Dwyer said: The cheesiest pick up line I have ever seen !! I don't want to pick any holes in your post but don't you need crackers, sorry don't you need to be crackers, to park this on us as Jacob said? Edited January 18, 2019 by scottiejohn 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VocalNeal Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 ^ that takes the biscuit. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 11 minutes ago, VocalNeal said: ^ that takes the biscuit. Oh crumbs, that's cracked me up. I will have to go and crumble in the corner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 I just found out I'm color-blind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple. Atheism is a non-prophet organization that no one believes in. I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need and I wouldn’t want to be found dead anywhere near it. What's the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nut are under a buck. Don't trust atoms, they make up everything and then split on you. Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap. The brownies’ mothers weren’t too happy either. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers. Claustrophobic people seem to have more productive thinking out of the box, probably because they haven’t led a sheltered life. I was addicted to the hokey kokey... but thankfully, I turned myself around and handed myself in before I got to shaken up. To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing, I’ll square with you later! I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right. What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home? "Where on Earth have you been, on cloud nine all day again?!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 On 12/7/2018 at 2:45 PM, vogie said: I can't believe how rude the suppositories helpline is? What's wrong, did they tell you to go stuff yourself, or are you just making an a&se of yourself when you said you would take their advice with a pinch of salt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 What’s with all these wind farms cropping up all over the UK ?We’ve got enough wind as it is without creating more !!Not to mention the electricity it must take to run those things !!! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 21 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said: What’s with all these wind farms cropping up all over the UK ? We’ve got enough wind as it is without creating more !! Not to mention the electricity it must take to run those things !!! They are called wind farms as they Keep the cows cool in the summer and stops the milk going off! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted January 20, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 20, 2019 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JAG Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 On 12/7/2018 at 2:45 PM, vogie said: I can't believe how rude the suppositories helpline is? Many years ago I was on a sailing yacht crossing the Bay of Biscay. Seasickness was a major problem, especially as I was the navigator, and had to spend a lot of time at the chart table down below. In the medical box was a packet marked "suppositories, for severe seasickness". I tried a couple - useless, did nothing, might as well have stuck them up my arse... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenslegs Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 HRH Prince Philip, talking about marriage ... "When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now