Jump to content
BANGKOK 20 April 2019 06:05

Recommended Posts

A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country, and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring, "Run....run!" The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent, "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!" 

A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams, "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!" 

The next batter holds his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk. The Scotsman stands up yelling: "R-r-run ya Bahstard, r-r-run!" 

All the surrounding fans chuckle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whispers, "He doesn't have to run, he got four balls." 

The Scotsman yells even louder, "Walk with pr-r-ride Jimmy, swagger man! Walk with pr-r-ride!" "Shame yur no warin yer kilt to really show your stuff!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Mexico. 

150,000 Mexicans have died and over a million are Injured.

The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.

The rest of the world is in shock. 

Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots. 

The European community (except France) is sending food and money. 

 

The United States, not to be outdone, is sending 150,000 replacement Mexicans after they demolish their newly built wall to let the Mexicans back out of the US back into Mexico. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I NO UNESTAN MY FEN SUMHOW

That's not right...Sum Ting Wong 

 

Are you harboring a fugitive?...Hu Yu Hai Ding? 

 

See me ASAP...Kum Hia Nao 

 

Stupid Man...Dum Gai 

 

Small Horse...Tai Ni Po Ni 

 

Did you go to the beach?...Wai Yu So Tan? 

 

I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Ni 

 

I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat 

 

It's very dark in here...Wai So Dim? 

 

I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching? 

 

This is a tow away zone...No Pah King 

 

Our meeting is scheduled for next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao? 

 

Staying out of sight...Lei Ying Lo 

 

He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka 

 

Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Murphy is in New York, waiting patiently at a busy street crossing.

The cop on duty there stops the flow of traffic and shouts, 'Okay pedestrians'.  After allowing the pedestrians to cross, he waves the traffic through again. He does this several times, but Murphy is still standing on the sidewalk.

After the cop has shouted 'Pedestrians' for the tenth time, Murphy approaches him and says, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Old Sandy McPherson was dying.

Tenderly, his wife Maggie knelt by his bedside and asked, 'Anything I can get you, Sandy?' - No reply.

'Have ye no' a last wish, Sandy?'

Faintly, came the answer ...  'A wee bit of yon boiled ham.'

'Wheesht, man,' said Maggie, 'ye ken fine that's for the funeral.'

Edited by chickenslegs
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/27/2018 at 11:30 PM, chickenslegs said:

'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'

I though the  Catholics very very good at crossing themselves!

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My New Year resolutions for 2019.

 

1) Set realistic goals.

 

2) Drink a bit too much.

 

3) Gain weight.

 

4) Buy a year's gym membership, attend twice in the first week but never again.  

 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...