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TEACHER TO KIDS AT SCHOOL
"We all use our fathers surname as our last name.  Please tell me if you know your Mummy’s last name and how you know."
Kid: "Mommy’s last name must be ‘Honey’ because that’s what dad calls her."

Teacher: "That’s sweet. What’s her first name, do you know?"

 

 

Kid: "Sorry, I think."
 

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Three men are in the middle of a desert when their car breaks down. For their hike to town, they each decide to take one thing with them.

One man takes a jug of water. The second man takes a sandwich. The last man takes one of the car doors. 

The first man says to the last man: “I’m bringing the water because if I get thirsty, I can take a drink. And it makes sense to bring a sandwich in case we get hungry, but why bring a car door?”

The last man replies,  “If I get hot, I can just roll down the window.”

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A COCKSURE YOUNG LAD (IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!)

 

A young (a well underage) boy walked into a bar and asked for a bottle of beer and 20 fags. 
"Now, now," smiled the buxom young barmaid, wagging her finger. "Do you want to get me into trouble?" 
He replied, "Not at the moment, I just want me beer and fags. But if that’s what you want  I’ll meet you out the back at closing time, Bye the way make sure you bring your own condoms as the chemist and barbers won’t sell em to me".

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"Mummy, mummy, are little birds made of metal?" 
"Of course not, darling, why do you think that?" 


"I just heard daddy say he'd like to screw the a*se off the little bird next door." 
 

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26 minutes ago, Daffy D said:

Say what you want about deaf people...………………….

I am so glad that joke had sub titles.

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Why did the blind man fall down the well?

Because he couldn't see that well ……………………………….

 

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Dwarf Shortage

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1 hour ago, Daffy D said:

Say what you want about deaf people...………………….

Why bother? They can't hear you!

🙃

Edited by scottiejohn

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