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Definition of revenge, a bar- steward in a condom factory with a pin.


Definition of luxury, a fur-lined condom with a zip.


Definition of a male chauvinist, making her sleep in the wet patch. 

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6 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:


Looking at the two sheep staring at him maybe he is just a sh*gged out sheep sh*gger.!

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What do you call the crunchy and soft tissue between a shark's teeth?

A slow swimmer.

I have clean conscience. I haven't used it once until now.

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.

Today I found my first grey pubic hair. I got really excited, but not as much as the other people in the lift.


Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting into your eyes but when I do have something in my eye it's always an eyelash. Eyeronic.


A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... details are a bit sketchy.


I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now

Edited by scottiejohn
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I went to a popular restaurant the other day and after seeing every table being occupied by couples I thought I would have to either wait a while or go elsewhere.  It was then that I had one of my inspirations; 

I took out my phone and said in a very loud phone call type voice, "Hello! Yes this is Richard from the Detective agency; you were right in your suspicions, he is here as you suspected and is with another woman, just come along now and see for yourself.”


Eight men got up hurriedly and fled, followed immediately by the eight women, so I was able to get a table quite easily after all.

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