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Worst Joke Ever 2024


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Young officer joins the unit straight from Sandhurst.

Next day has CO's interview.

CO says you'll enjoy it here, we have regular mess nights every week.

Monday night we have drink all you can for free.

Subby says sorry I dont drink.

Oh well says the CO on tuesday night the local casino sets up tables and we all enjoy a few bets here and there.

Sorry Sir says the Subby I dont gamble.

CO says well on thursday the local knocking shop sends round a few of their star girls who do a show and you can indulge for free.

Subby says I dont indulge in sins of the flesh with loose women.

CO says  are you gay?

Subby says  no sir I am not.

CO says friday night is going to be a problem for you then

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A tragedy occurred at Billy Dumb’s circus. A fire rendered the big top useless and all the animals were sold off. Duncan had been the elephant man. He was 23 and had been looking after the elephants for 10 years. He had one favourite elephant called Badu. Duncan had look after Badu since he was a small elephant and had a special bond with him.

 

In the circus ring Dancan and Badu’s main trick was that Duncan put his head on a stool and Badu would put his foot on Duncan’s head; just touching it. Badu would hold his foot there while the crowd gasped and chanted.

 

After the circus was disbanded, Badu found a new home in West Africa while Duncan became a lorry driver.

 

Duncan got married and had children. He would tell them about his wonderful times with Badu.

 

Some years later Duncan’s family were left some money from a deceased relative. The family decided to holiday in The Gambia. Shortly after they arrived they were offered a safari into the wilds. From their vehicle they spotted a group of elephants. “Go closer” Duncan said to the driver. As the vehicle got very close Duncan thought he saw Badu. “That’s Badu”, he said excitedly to his children. "Are you sure daddy?" Duncan got out of the vehicle and approached the elephants. “Do that trick with your head and the elephant’s foot daddy” shouted one of his children.

 

The elephants were watching. Duncan saw a rock and knelt down and placed his head on it. An elephant went over. The elephant lifted his leg and hovered his foot over Duncan’s head. It was not Sabu. Splat!!

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