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Worst Joke Ever 2024


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What is the difference between a successful lover and a failed lover?


Answer:

Failed lover becomes a poet, sings songs and drinks fine wines. 
The successful lover does the grocery shopping , cooking, mopping floors, washing utensils!

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An 80-year-old man went to the doctor for a general check-up.
The doctor was shocked to see his health,
Asked--
'What is the secret of your good health ....?'
- 'I get up before the sun rises and go out for cycling and then come and drink two glasses of wine!
Maybe this is the secret of my health. '
Doctor - 'Okay, but can I ask you how old your father died ...?'
- 'My father died ...?
Who told you that he died.
Doctor (surprised): - 'You mean that you are 80 years old and your father is still alive ...?
So how old is he now ....? '
- 'He is 102 years old and  cycling with me this morning and then took two glasses of wine'
Doctor - 'This is very good. This means that the long life is in your family's jeans.
So how old was your grandfather when he died….?
--- 'Hey why are you killing my grandfather now ...?'
Doctor (puzzled) -
'You mean that you are 80 years old and your grandfather is still alive very much!
What is his age .....? '
--- 'Yes, he is 123 years old.'
--- 'I think he too must have cycled with you this morning and taken wine too .....?'
- 'Take a cold breath! No, Grandpa could not go this morning,
 Because
He is getting married today.
Doctor (on the verge of going mad) -
'What said marriage .....? Why would he want to get married at the age of 123…?
--- 'Who said he wanted to get married ....?
He has to be forced.
- 'But why ........ Doctor shouted!
- 'Girl is pregnant, that's why!'

 

The doctor has been cycling regularly and drinking wine ever since,

The clinic is closed.

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... by Natural Causes

 

Polk County Florida Sheriff - "You kill a policeman it means no arrest...no Miranda rights...no negotiations...nothing but as many bullets as we can shoot into you...PERIOD." 
An illegal alien, in Polk County, Florida , who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop, ended up "executing" the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at close range. Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed. A state-wide manhunt ensued. 
The murderer was found hiding in a wooded area. As soon as he took a shot at the SWAT team, officers opened fire on him. They hit the guy 68 times. 
Naturally, the liberal media went nuts and asked why they had to shoot the poor, undocumented immigrant 68 times. 
Sheriff Grady Judd told the Orlando Sentinel: "Because that's all the ammunition we had." Now, is that just about the all-time greatest answer or what! 
The Coroner also reported that the illegal alien died of natural causes. When asked by a reporter how that could be, since there were 68 bullet wounds in his body, he simply replied: (BEST QUOTE ever) ...."When you are shot 68 times you are naturally gonna die."

 

 

 

 

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On 10/9/2020 at 2:58 AM, fangless said:

I am not sure if I can see the Point of it.

Maybe it should be pinned in the family forum!

What's the problem?

They're designed to have pricks in ????

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