Jump to content

Worst Joke Ever 2024


Recommended Posts

On some air bases, the military uses one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side, with the tower in the middle serving both. One day, at one of these fields, a call from an aircraft called in asking, "Hey, Tower, what time is it?"


The tower answered, "Who is calling?"


The aircraft answered, "What difference does it make?"


The tower responded with, "It makes a lot of difference. If you are a civilian aircraft, it's three o'clock; if you're an Army aircraft, it's 1500 hours; if you're a Navy aircraft, it's 3 bells; if you're an Air Force aircraft, the big hand is on 12 and the little hand is on 3; and if you're a Marine aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes 'til Happy Hour."
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Team Player
-------------------------

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old
hockey players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is?  What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a penalty is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head."

Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, "And when I call you off the ice so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb a--hole', is it?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach.

 

"Now go over there and explain all that to your mother."

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well done the reds last night. A couple to get you in the mood.

 

++++

 

A dozen Liverpool lads were at the pearly gates, ready to enter heaven. St Peter sauntered over.

 

"I'm afraid we are nearly full. Can only take one of you."

 

The guys were not best pleased about this. St Peter could sense their anguish and tried to calm things.

 

"I'll tell you what guys; it's getting late. I'll report to god and get back to you in the morning. By then you will have things worked out."

 

The next morning St Peter went to the entrance. What he saw shocked him. He ran to god.

 

"God.... they are gone!"

 

"What! All twelve of them?"

 

"No god; the pearly gates."

 

++++++++

 

A bus was taking a group of Liverpool lads on a safari. On the way round the bus broke down. The driver radioed for help and was told not to let anyone off the bus. The lads had other ideas and opened the emergency door at the rear. A few of them were having a fag on the grass when the warden, and his armed safari team turned up.

 

"You shouldn't be out here lads! The animals,,,,,, the lions!"

 

"No worries. We wouldn't hurt your precious, <deleted> lions."

Edited by owl sees all
Link to comment
Share on other sites

JAPANESE SEX
A Japanese couple are arguing about how to perform highly erotic sex.
Husband: "Sukitaki. Mojitaka!"
Wife replies: "Kowanini! Mowi janakpa!"
Husband says angrily: "Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!"
Wife, on her knees, literally begging:
"Mimi Nakoundinda tinkouji!"
Husband shouts angrily: "Na miaou kina Tim kouji!

 

I can't believe you have just sat there trying to read this!
You don't know any Japanese!
You'll read anything as long as it's about sex.... Sometimes I worry about TV posters. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.





×
×
  • Create New...