Jump to content

Worst Joke Ever 2024


Recommended Posts

Just as the young girl is coming out of the school gates, a car draws up and a man leans over to ask if she'd like a lift home.

"No, thank you," she replies.

But he asks again.

"Come on, it's raining, you'll be soaked by the time you get home."

"No! Go away and leave me alone."

The man follows her up the road. "Look, get in please, I'll get you some sweeties."

"No!" she yells and starts to run.

"I'll get you some sweeties and your favourite comic."

"No, no, no!" shouts the girl.

 

"Just because you bought a Skoda doesn't mean I have to ride in it, Dad."

 

PS;  A Skoda car (Czech automobile manufacturer) had a somewhat  poor reputation in the UK!!

Skoda jokes are welcome!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not sure if this is funny or sad
Once a week the boy would travel across town to pick up child support money from his father and take it back to his mum.

This money had come regularly for 16 years, but on the boy's sixteenth birthday his father told him it was going to be the last payment and to tell his mum he wasn't paying to be the father anymore.

"That's OK, You old git," replied the boy.

 

"Mum says you never were my father anyway."
 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, ballpoint said:

image.png.c3e7770b13d64e0986b730d80b6e8cba.png

 

Hello it's me
I've thought about us for a long long time
---Tom Rundgren

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is that right? at first I couldn't get Lionel Richie - out of my head--but that was 10 years on i think......

 

Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do

  • Confused 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

52 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

Another Day at school in Issan................

<deleted> (substituted for deleted - Oh my goodness!!)     

 Oh my goodness!!   People actually use their wing mirrors whilst driving in Issan!!

I thought they were only used for the ladyboys to apply makeup!

 

PS;  Would you believe that the <deleted> was the abbreviation for "Oh My God"!!

 

 

Edited by fangless
Oh My God added
Link to comment
Share on other sites

One evening on the outskirts of London, a millionaire Englishman was walking with his dog when suddenly a Pakistani came out of the bushes and fired three shots and killed his dog. 

Surprised and shocked, the Englishman said: "Why did you do that ?"

Pakistani: "Your wife gave me 5000 Euros and said Kill the son of a b****. 

There were tears in the eyes of the Englishman and he hugged the Pakistani and said: "I will never forget the kindness of your English teacher for the rest of my life!"

  • Confused 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, ravip said:

"Your wife gave me 5000 Euros and said Kill the son of a b****. 

I am most sorry to ask but what does son of a "b****" mean?

Is the the son of a b**** a b**** or do you meant to really insult me and say he/she/it was/is a b****.  If so you really are the son of b****.

 

Please reply without <deleted> it up!

 

Edited by fangless
deleted
  • Confused 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

Hello it's me
I've thought about us for a long long time
---Tom Rundgren

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is that right? at first I couldn't get Lionel Richie - out of my head--but that was 10 years on i think......

 

Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do

 

It took me a while with a lot of head scratching. It was 'A horse with no name' by a group called America(?)

 

"I was riding through the desert on a horse with no name.............etc, etc, etc,"

????

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, fangless said:

I am most sorry to ask but what does son of a "b****" mean?

Is the the son of a b**** a b**** or do you meant to really insult me and say he/she/it was/is a b****.  If so you really are the son of b****.

 

Please reply without <deleted> it up!

 

I am most sorry to ask but what does son of a "b****" mean?

I guess it was referring to the dog that was shot....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now





×
×
  • Create New...