Popular Post ballpoint Posted March 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2021 Cant wait for Meghan and Harrys interview on Ellen next week about how she was abused and bullied backstage at the Oprah Winfrey show. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted March 10, 2021 Share Posted March 10, 2021 I saw two birds stuck together in the tree in my garden today. I think they might be vell crows. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted March 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2021 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post ballpoint Posted March 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2021 My wife has been going on about needing a new vehicle for some time now, so I finally drove her to what I thought was her favourite dealership. The doctors say I should be able to eat solid food again in a few weeks. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post roo860 Posted March 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2021 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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WorriedNoodle Posted March 10, 2021 Share Posted March 10, 2021 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post ravip Posted March 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2021 A boy, his father and his mother are having dinner. But the boy doesn’t want to eat his broccoli. Eat your broccoli! – says the mother. No! – exclaims the boy. The father then leans toward the boy and whispers something in his ear. The boy quickly eats his broccoli and goes into his room. What did you tell him? I told him that if he didn’t eat his broccoli, his mickey wouldn’t grow. The woman then stands up and slaps the man as hard as she can. What was that for? – he asks, confused. FOR NOT EATING YOUR BROCCOLI WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD! 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted March 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2021 Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'" asked the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well. I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite donkey Bessie into the... "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'". Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Police officer on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question." By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say." Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into the trailer and was driving her down the motorway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Policeman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the officer came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me." He said, "Your donkey was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?" 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanuk711 Posted March 11, 2021 Share Posted March 11, 2021 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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sanuk711 Posted March 11, 2021 Share Posted March 11, 2021 This little fella is helping me to become more woke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post doctormann Posted March 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted March 11, 2021 54 minutes ago, sanuk711 said: Sorry, far too white - needs to be a neutral grey. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted March 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted March 11, 2021 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted March 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted March 11, 2021 A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join me" So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river. At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side. He then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?!" The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with the monkey and his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in! The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says "Hey, MONKEY!" The Monkey looks down and says OMG!!!! DUUUDE .... HOW MUCH WATER DID YOU DRINK?'" 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted March 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted March 11, 2021 Two students are waiting to give their oral tests... The first student's turn comes, and he goes inside Examiner- Suppose you are travelling by train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do? Student- I will open the window. Examiner- Great, now suppose that the area of the window is 10 sq. ft, the volume of the car is 1000 cubic ft, the train is travelling at 60 miles/hr in the westerly direction, speed of the wind is 20 ft/sec from the south, how long will it take for the compartment to get cold? The student can't answer. After coming out he tells the question to the second student. The second student goes in and his test starts. Examiner- Suppose you are travelling by train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do? 2nd Student- I will remove my jacket. Examiner- It still is hot, then what? Student- I will remove my shirt. Examiner (angrily)- What are you going to do next, take off all your clothes? Student- Yes. Examiner (Fuming)- And what if it's still hot and you nearly go unconscious? Student- I will lie there butt naked, dehydrated, dying a slow death, but will never ever open that god damned f***ing window. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted March 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted March 11, 2021 Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He starts up the stairs and pauses, then he yells, "Was I going up the stairs or coming down?" The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having coffee listening to his brothers. He shakes his head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." He knocks on wood for good luck. He then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door." 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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