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Worst Joke Ever 2024


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1 hour ago, Hamus Yaigh said:

MDayFlowers_Matt.jpg.31cfaae02736729ae9feac60d46c5e94.jpg

Your up to date--that was on the news this morning --"Some" women aren't happy with it. Apparently it demeans the role of motherhood as they do a lot more things then whats stated in the Cartoon....the fact that its just a joke........is.........Mmmm

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A honeymoon couple booked into a fishing camp one evening. The manager gave them a cabin away from the rest of the guests.

Early the next morning, before dawn he sees the new groom with his gear heading down to the water.  Same thing the next morning. The third morning brings the same results. Perplexed he asked "You're on your honeymoon, why aren't you in there making love to your bride?"

"She has a case of gonorrhea" he replied.

The innkeeper presses and says "Have you thought about **** sex?"
"Oh yea" said the groom "But she has a bad case of diarrhoea"
The manager scratches his head and says "Have you tried putting it in her mouth?"

"Thought about that" says the groom "But she also has pyorrhea"

"Gonorrhea, Diarrhoea , Pyorrhea, why on earth did you marry her?"

The groom hold ups an unlabeled soup can proclaiming

"She's got worms!"

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2 hours ago, Disparate Dan said:

were they? He once said: "I don't make mistakes, I make prophesies which immediately turn out to be wrong."

Lovely guy. RIP.

No I believe they were mostly deliberate, hence the "" around  the "Mistakes" in my post.

 

 

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The East End gang boss had always been very careful whom he employed, for fear of being grassed up. He thought he'd been really clever with his crooked accountant who was deaf and dumb. There wasn't much of a risk that he would overhear too much. However, it eventually dawned on the boss that someone was stealing money from him. A lot of money. And it didn't take long for him to discover it was his crooked accountant.

"Benny," he ordered, "Get that no good crook down here pronto and get Marty to come with him. He understands sign language." Later in his office, the boss started interrogating him.

"Marty, ask him what he's done with the money."

At first the terrified accountant signalled his ignorance of the theft but when a gun was put to his head, he spilled the beans. With rapid hand movements, he explained that he'd hidden all the money in a trunk in an old derelict factory, two miles from the office.

"So what did he say?" demanded the boss, impatiently.

"It's no good, boss," replied Marty. "He says, this is a shorten version without all the insult about you and your family, you haven't got the bottle to shoot him, so you can go and get stuffed, etc. etc."

That's when the shot rang out.

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