Popular Post fangless Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 The police car indicated for the motorist to pull up. "Did you realise, sir, you were doing 55mph in a 30mph area?" he said, pulling out his notebook. "May I have your name please?" The quick thinking English motorist answered "Vladimrish Malenovichsebenatrokia Salkonovichiski." "OK, well, just don't do it again," replied the officer, closing his book and walking away. 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Crossy Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 12 minutes ago, fangless said: The police car indicated for the motorist to pull up. "Did you realise, sir, you were doing 55mph in a 30mph area?" he said, pulling out his notebook. "May I have your name please?" The quick thinking English motorist answered "Vladimrish Malenovichsebenatrokia Salkonovichiski." "OK, well, just don't do it again," replied the officer, closing his book and walking away. Truth can be stranger than fiction ???? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/northern_ireland/7899171.stm 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 3 minutes ago, Crossy said: Truth can be stranger than fiction ???? Never let the truth spoil a good joke, but thanks for the link. I had read it before but until you posted I had forgotten the connection! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 Anyone know who won the Transgender boat race coxless pairs? 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 The Nepalese government are planning to charge people up to £10,000 to scale Everest I think it's a bit steep. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 Gymnasium in ancient Greek means "naked exercise" Try telling that to the receptionist at Fitness First 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 Life really is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long if you're fat. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 On 4/8/2021 at 2:50 PM, ballpoint said: Anyone know who won the Transgender boat race coxless pairs? Was it a <deleted> or just a pair of t&ts? But then maybe nobody had the balls to take part! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 2 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 3 minutes ago, ballpoint said: The Nepalese government are planning to charge people up to £10,000 to scale Everest I think it's a bit steep. I was thinking it was all a bit pointless but then I have a very steep learning curve if I am to get the top! Will they have a summit to discuss the new scales? 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 3 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 Three prisoners are being transported to the prison where they will spend the rest of their lives. On the way there they have a chat about the things they're taking with them. The first prisoner says: I've got a drawing kit. When I'm behind bars, I want to spend the rest of my life making art. The second says: I've got cards. Now I can play stuff like poker, blackjack or bridge. The third one says: And I've got a box of tampons. The other two ask him: Why tampons? He replies: Why wouldn't I? The box says that I can ride a bike, jog, ski, skate on ice... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted April 8, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 8, 2021 Should've been more specific Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really <deleted>. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday. 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 9, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 9, 2021 Does anybody know where I can buy a longer dipstick for my car, as the current one no longer reaches the oil? 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 9, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 9, 2021 4 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 9, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 9, 2021 1 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 9, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 9, 2021 7 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted April 9, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 9, 2021 A young man got his first ever job working on a Lighthouse far out at sea. Reporting for duty on the first day after a very rough crossing and boarding the Lighthouse he was greeted by the Lighthouse Master. "What is the drill on the Lighthouse he enquired?" "Oh "says the Master, "its easy, Monday we sweep the floors and the stairs, wash the walls, fill the lamps and polish the lenses, then we retire to the lounge area." "What happens after that" he enquired. "Oh" says the Master "we play Crib and Dominoes until bedtime as we don’t have any TV reception." "That is a shame" the young man said," I am not into Pub Games." "Well", said the Master "you can read a book from our Library" Monday comes and Monday goes, and the young man asked, "What happens on Tuesday? " "Well", said the master "we sweep the floors and the stairs, wash the walls, fill the lamps, and polish the lenses, then we retire to the lounge area, and we play Pool, and Billiards." "That is a shame" said the young man, "its pub games again". "The Library it is for you" the Master said. Tuesday comes and goes and the same question, "What happens on Wednesday." Same answer, "We sweep the floors and the stairs, wash the walls, fill the lamps, and polish the lenses, then we retire to the lounge area, and because Wednesday is special Trinity House send out a supply ship with lots of booze and they send two young ladies for our enjoyment for the evening." Now the young man is getting rather agitated and the Master asks what is wrong. The young man said that he had just broken up with his fiancée and he did not think that that type of behaviour would be right The Master was now at his wits end and asked the young man,. “You are not Gay, are you?” “Certainly not” exclaimed the young man fervently. Well, said the Master “ You are not going to like Thursday either”. 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post roo860 Posted April 9, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 9, 2021 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post roo860 Posted April 9, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 9, 2021 8 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post roo860 Posted April 9, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 9, 2021 3 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post WorriedNoodle Posted April 9, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 9, 2021 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post tifino Posted April 9, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 9, 2021 wHRRR 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now