Popular Post ballpoint Posted May 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 20, 2021 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted May 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 20, 2021 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post KC 71 Posted May 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 20, 2021 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fasteddie Posted May 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 20, 2021 A guy in a pub sold me a rare, antique map of the Sahara Desert for only £20 last night.... This morning when I sobered up I realised that it was a sheet of sandpaper... 5 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted May 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 20, 2021 2 1 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaldedfummy Posted May 20, 2021 Share Posted May 20, 2021 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted May 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 20, 2021 A boy enters a barber shop. The barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same boy coming out of an ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his ice cream cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over." 4 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted May 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 20, 2021 VID-20210520-WA0030.mp4 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fasteddie Posted May 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 20, 2021 Two Chimps & a Blonde A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from the Gold Coast in Australia when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, 'Are you going to the Gold Coast?' 'Sure,' answered the blonde, 'do you need a lift ?' 'Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the Gold Coast Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me ? I' ll give you $100 for your trouble.' 'I'd be happy to,' said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went. Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of the Gold Coast when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. 'What the heck are you doing here ?' he demanded, 'I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.' 'Yes, I know you did,' said the blonde,' but we had money left over --- so now we're going to SeaWorld. 3 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post roo860 Posted May 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 20, 2021 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post roo860 Posted May 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 20, 2021 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post roo860 Posted May 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 20, 2021 VID-20210520-WA0009.mp4 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravip Posted May 21, 2021 Share Posted May 21, 2021 The Brazilian president and his spouse are staying at a hotel in the USA, in the room 222 Close to 17:00 he calls the room service from the landline and says the following. tu ti, tu tututu The attendant has a hard time understating that request and considering that it is the president, not just some normal customer, comes to the conclusion that he must have overheard an encoded message, meant to a Brazilian operative currently undercover. He calls the CIA and describes the situation, shortly after 2 agents are dispatched to the location. After some hours of work and observation they are unable to decipher any meaning from the encoded message, the president eventually calls again and says: Hello. Tu ti, tu tututu. The 2 agents recorded the enigmatic message and after some more frustration, they decided to call in a specialist in Portuguese language. The specialist after learning of the situation decides that the best course of action is to go undercover as room service to the president room. Wen the specialist got back he explained: All the president wanted was some tea delivered to his room. Two tea, to two two two 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted May 21, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2021 My boss calls me the computer Not because I'm smart, but because I go to sleep if left unattended for a few minutes 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted May 21, 2021 Share Posted May 21, 2021 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post WorriedNoodle Posted May 21, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2021 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 21, 2021 Share Posted May 21, 2021 Someone's stolen all the bus stop signs from our street. Just where do these people get off? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted May 21, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2021 Well, that's bang out of order. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted May 21, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2021 Scientists have discovered another deadly pathogen they are calling the 'Peekaboo' virus. Doctors are sending anyone with Peekaboo straight to ICU. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted May 21, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2021 My window cleaner knocked at the door this morning, shouting and swearing. I thought, blimey he's lost his rag. 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted May 21, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2021 I can't stop eating Polos, Extra Strong Mints, Mentos and TicTacs... I'm worried I'm going to end up in a menthol institution! 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted May 21, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2021 In breaking news, a naked man broke into a church earlier this morning. The police chased him for an hour before catching him by the organ. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted May 21, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2021 A blonde goes in McDonalds. "Big Mac and fries, please." "What size fries would you like?" Holds up pinky finger and says, "a bit longer than that but not as wide." 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billd766 Posted May 21, 2021 Share Posted May 21, 2021 10 hours ago, roo860 said: This peon doesn't eat caviar, however it does work the same with jam. It also proves the saying of, Jam Tomorrow. If I don't eat toast and jam today, my toast (almost) never falls on the floor. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roo860 Posted May 21, 2021 Share Posted May 21, 2021 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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