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"How many Thai Visa members does it take to change a light bulb?" One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed. Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing

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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area,
so I went to the lost luggage office and
told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because
she was a trained professional, and I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
So I replied, "No Ma'am, The Pilot told us we're circling the airport, 3rd in line to land" ...

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Saturday morning I get up early, dress quietly, make my lunch, grab the dog and fishing equipment, slip quietly into the garage, hook the boat to the truck, and proceed to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind's blowing 50 mph, so. I pull back into the garage, turn on the radio, and discoverer that the weather will be bad all day.

I go back into the house and slip back into bed.  My wife is turned away from me when I whisper to her, "The weather's terrible."

My loving wife of 20 years replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that mess?"

I don't know to this day if she was joking, but I stopped fishing.

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A man from a circus travels by car. He has long hair and looks like a mafia boss. A policeman stops the car.
When he looks inside the car, he is shocked. The car is full of big knives.
“What are those big knives doing in your car?” asks the policeman.
“I play with them in a circus.”
“Oh, really?” says the policeman, who doesn’t believe him. “Let’s see how you do it.”
The man gets out and starts throwing and catching the knives. Another man, who is driving around, stops to watch the situation.
“Wow,” says this man. “I’m glad that I stopped drinking before driving. Look at the tests which they’re giving now!”

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