Worst Joke Ever 2019

[WorriedNoodle 7,110]

[WorriedNoodle 7,110]

[WorriedNoodle 7,110]

[ballpoint 16,862]

[ballpoint 16,862]

[ballpoint 16,862]

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.
The Indian Chief proclaimed "So YOU are the great Lone Ranger..!"
"In honour of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days."
"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"
"What is your FIRST request..?'
The Lone Ranger responds "I'd like to speak to my Horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear and the horse gallops away.
Later that evening Silver returns with a beautiful Blonde Woman on his back.
As the Chief watches, the Blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed.
"You have a very fine and loyal Horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
"What is your SECOND request..?"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse.
Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the Horse's ear.
As before, Silver disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous Brunette, more attractive than the Blonde.
She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents but I will still kill you tomorrow."
"What is your LAST request..?"
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my Horse, alone."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him squarely in the Eyes and says,
"READ MY LIPS...!
FOR... THE... LAST... BLOODY... TIME... "
"BRING POSSE!!"

[sanuk711 9,159]

[fangless 4,380]

UNSOCIABLE PEOPLE. 

Simply pop your coat on before answering your front door. 
If it's someone you don't want to see, you can say you are on your way out.
In the unlikely event it's someone you do want to see, you can simply say you've just arrived home.

[fangless 4,380]

LAZY WIFE CURE

 

Yesterday my wife thought she saw a cockroach in the kitchen. 
She sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly for the first time since we married

Today I'm putting the cockroach in the bathroom.
 

[fangless 4,380]

[fangless 4,380]

[fangless 4,380]

[fangless 4,380]

[fangless 4,380]

[sanuk711 9,159]