sanuk711 Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post Crossy Posted July 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2021 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yellowtail Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 30 minutes ago, Crossy said: I was at one of the big Changi water treatment plant jobsites. They had a huge safety display board with all the safety/employee/material/hours stats. The one that caught my eye was "Only [2] Fatalities" Two fatalities may have been pretty good for a job that size, but the "Only" seemed a bit cavalier... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Zyxel Posted July 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2021 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post fangless Posted July 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2021 This policeman walked up to me with his sniffer dog & said: "This dog tells me you're on drugs!" I said, "Oh Yeh!!I'm on drugs? You're the one listening to a dog." 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted July 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2021 Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 10 minutes later "Computer really messed up now." 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 Doctor's have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering even many decades after it has been eaten. It's called Wedding Cake 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted July 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2021 (edited) I Asked to switch seats on a plane because I was sitting next to a crying and smelly baby. But I was refused and told to stay where I was Apparently that isn’t allowed if the baby is yours. Edited July 10, 2021 by fangless 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 My missus packed my bags and as I walked out of the front door she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death you useless good for nothing big Oaf "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to bleedin stay." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted July 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2021 Boss: Do you believe in after life? Employee: Certainly not. There is no proof of it! Boss: Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you! 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted July 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2021 I saw a car with a decal saying: “I am a vet. Therefore I can drive like an animal.” Suddenly I realized how many gynaecologists' there are on the roads. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted July 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2021 A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer. The husband, put "MYPENIS' " and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause on screen was an error message, "Error. 356 --Too weak and not long enough." 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted July 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2021 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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ravip Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 2 hours ago, Crossy said: Who is Joe and where is he now???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jvs Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 2 hours ago, WorriedNoodle said: Not only in the Olympic games ,a friend told me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Zyxel Posted July 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2021 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zyxel Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post roo860 Posted July 10, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2021 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted July 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 11, 2021 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted July 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 11, 2021 If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted July 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 11, 2021 Two ladies are sitting in a veterinary waiting room with their dogs. One of them has a large Rottweiler. She peers over at the other and asks “What are you in for?” The second has a tiny Terrier. She looks up abruptly and replies "Rosco here gets so excited when the mail is delivered. He runs all over the house and then mounts my leg. I can’t do anything with him in that state, so I’m having him fixed. How about you?” The first lady snaps back “Oh my! I have the same issue with Brutus here! When I go out to get the paper, as soon as I bend down he’s all over me!” “Oh, you’re getting him fixed then?” “No, I’m getting his nails trimmed…” 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted July 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 11, 2021 A couple have a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can’t sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. "Yeah, right," she says. That night, a few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins to snore as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed! The next night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him. So she grabs a piece of ribbon, and carefully ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly. The next morning, the husband wakes up hung over. He stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees a red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and says, "Boy, I don't remember where we were or what we did, but, by God, we got first and second place." 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted July 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 11, 2021 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted July 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 11, 2021 (edited) The bank meeting didn't go too well, so now I'm applying for a job at Citroen. I have to send in 2CVs. Edited July 11, 2021 by ballpoint 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted July 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 11, 2021 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted July 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 11, 2021 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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