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warfie, June 5, 2009 in Jokes - puzzles and riddles - make my day!
Sep 1 2020
Sep 10 2019
Nov 2 2020
Aug 13 2020
January 31, 2019
"How many Thai Visa members does it take to change a light bulb?"
One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing
December 7, 2018
Stripper For Hire
A veteran and hero sat at the bar...
A Marine Pilot sat down at the local Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight jacket, and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the pilot and asked;
"Are you a real pilot?"
'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans... I flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?"
'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women.
As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women.
When I shower, I think about naked women.
When I watch TV, I think about naked women.
It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat there sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked;
" Are you a real pilot?"
'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
What do you call two female lovers spying for the government?
Two fig leaved statues (one nude male, one nude female) stand beside each other at the entrance of the Park.
One day, very early in the morning, an angel comes down from heaven. He looks the statues up and down, and with a flick of his wrist, POOF! he turns the statues into real people.
The (now) man and woman stare at each other in amazement, but their attention soon turns to the angel, who's quite satisfied with himself, grinning from ear to ear.
He says to the couple, "You guys have been staring at each other while locked in stone for the last 100 odd years, completely unable to do a thing about your urges for each other." He pauses, and then adds: "It's still pretty early, and people don't usually get to the park for another 30 minutes. You two should go into that covered area and…well, just have a good time."
The man caught the eye of the woman, who had a twinkle in her eye and wore a mischievous grin. She bit her lip seductively, and with that the man grabbed her hand and the two ran off to the bushes.
The angel then found himself privy to giggles, laughter, rustling, and squeals of delight and many strange sounds. Fifteen minutes later, the couple emerged from the bushes hand-in-hand, out of breath and faces flush.
The angel glanced at his watch. "You still have fifteen minutes, you know. You can have another round if you'd like!"
The woman turned excitedly to the man and exclaimed, "Ok! But this time, you have to hold the pigeon while I get to sh!t on it's head!!"
Some Non political thoughts!
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
The consensus after an election is that approx. 100% of Americans think approx. 50% of Americans have lost their minds.
My favourite mythical creature?
The honest politician.
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