ballpoint Posted September 20, 2021 Share Posted September 20, 2021 2 hours ago, fangless said: On a beautiful summer’s day, two English tourists were driving through deepest Wales. When they arrived at SiliogogogochLlanfairpsiliogogogochwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrnsiliogogogochdrobwyllllanty they stopped for lunch and one of the tourists asked the waitress: “Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce the name of the place we are in now, very, very, very slowly?” The girl leaned over and said: “K........F...........C.” Your KFC has a waitress? You posh <deleted>! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted September 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2021 A new manager arrives at his work to replace a recently fired manager. On his way out, the outgoing manager hands the new manager three envelopes and remarks, "When things get tough, open these one at a time." Three months go by and things start to get rough. The manager opens his drawer where he keeps the three envelopes and opens the first one. The note inside reads: "Blame your predecessor." He does and it works like a charm. Three more months pass and things are growing difficult again so the manager opens envelope two. It reads, "Reorganise." Again, his predecessor's advice works like magic. Finally, nine months into the new job, things are getting really sticky. The manager figures it worked before, why not try again. So he opens the envelope drawer one last time and opens the third envelope. the note reads... "Prepare three envelopes." 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted September 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2021 My wife is wearing one of those skirts where you can just see the edge of her bum poking out I'd probably find it really sexy if it wasn't knee length. 2 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted September 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2021 “I can’t believe that you’ve been visiting prostitutes for sex,” my wife screamed at me. “I’m really disappointed.” “You can hardly blame me,” I answered. “It’s not like I was getting any from you.” “Well that’s your fault,” she replied. “You never told me you were willing to pay for it.” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted September 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2021 A horse is sitting in a pub sinking pints. He staggers over to the bar and asks for another. The barman looks at him and says “you’re drunk; I can’t serve you any more, I’m afraid. And, you’ve been in here every day this week. Are you an alcoholic?” The horse looks at the barman and say “I don’t think I am” and promptly disappears in a puff of logic. (Many you won’t have got that joke; it’s about the famous philosophers quote “I think therefore I am”. I didn’t explain that beforehand, because that would be putting Descartes before the horse). 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted September 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2021 Two big girls walk into a bar. They order drinks, in a thick accent. "You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender. Offended, one of them replies "Wales!" "Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?" 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted September 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2021 25% of women are on medication for some form of mental illness. This means that 75% are walking around untreated! 5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted September 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2021 Simply put a % sign after your age to see how dead you are... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted September 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2021 Kaleidoscopes. What do people see in them? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted September 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2021 The Government has announced that benefit cheats will now be dealt with as harshly as fraudulent bankers. How is giving them knighthoods going to help? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted September 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2021 7 minutes ago, ballpoint said: Kaleidoscopes. What do people see in them? I'm not sure as they seem to haphazardly colour my judgement 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Yellowtail Posted September 20, 2021 Share Posted September 20, 2021 2 minutes ago, Zyxel said: Once when I got pulled over in upstate New York the cop cop asked if I know why he pulled me over. I answered: Drunk driving? Another time under similar circumstances in Florida, when told to walk a straight line I told him that I could walk I wouldn't be driving.... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post sanuk711 Posted September 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2021 Road Tax..................... 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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