jvs Posted November 17, 2021 Share Posted November 17, 2021 1 hour ago, ballpoint said: Yes for sure. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post billd766 Posted November 17, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2021 3 hours ago, Zyxel said: He must be describing the French, and exaggerating a lot. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mike Teavee Posted November 17, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2021 1 hour ago, billd766 said: He must be describing the French, and exaggerating a lot. I thought he was saying “And we were this close to not “Running Away” 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Crossy Posted November 17, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2021 When we were growing up in Dunbeath we had a boy called Donal. None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him "You are driving me crazy Donal !!!!!" One day Donals mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!! The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved away to Glasgow !!!! 25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform and he was in Glasgow ...... Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful...... When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her! She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died! The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw Donal , working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his Hoover !!!!! Don't tell me you thought that Donal became a flipping doctor ???? 3 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted November 17, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2021 9 hours ago, ballpoint said: Quiet woman-keep your hair on! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted November 17, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2021 Not sure this is good advice or not but!!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post fangless Posted November 17, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2021 A sign of the times alas! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post fangless Posted November 17, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2021 Chat up line; Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted November 17, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2021 TODAY’s DAILY INSULT; Is there no beginning to your talents? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted November 17, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2021 A tourist guide was talking with a group of schoolchildren at America’s Yellowstone Park when one boy asked him whether he had ever come face to face with a wolf. ‘Yes,’ said the guide, ‘I did come face to face with a wolf once. What made it worse was that I was alone and unarmed.’ ‘What did you do?’ ‘What could I do? First, I tried looking him straight in the eyes but he slowly advanced towards me. I crept back, but he kept on coming, nearer and nearer. I had to think fast.’ ‘Wow! How did you get away?’ ‘As a last resort, I just turned around and walked quickly to the next cage.’ 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted November 17, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2021 A smartly dressed woman marched into the cemetery and confronted the funeral director. ‘I’ve looked all over the cemetery,’ she raged, ‘and I can’t find my husband’s grave anywhere.’ ‘What name is it, please?’ asked the director. ‘Alec Wildenstein.’ The director searched through the files. ‘Hmm,’ he said. ‘There must be some mistake. All we have here is a Gloria Wildenstein.’ ‘No mistake,’ said the woman. ‘That’s my husband, all right. My lawyer said he had put everything is in my name.’ 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted November 17, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2021 Out driving with his wife, a man was speeding along a country lane in an increasingly reckless fashion. ‘Can’t you slow down when you’re turning comers?’ she complained. ‘You’re scaring the life out of me.’ ‘Good then in that case Do what I do,’ he sneered. ‘Just shut your eyes.’ 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted November 17, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2021 Supposedly Genuine answers given by music students in exams: • The principal singer of 19th century opera was called pre-Madonna. • Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony. • A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals. • Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing. • A harp is a nude piano. • Refrain means don’t do it. A refrain in music is the part you’d better not try to sing. • Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti. • Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practised on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted November 17, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2021 Two intrepid explorers met in the heart of the Amazon jungle. One said: ‘I’m here to commune with nature in the raw, to contemplate the eternal truths and to widen my horizons. And what about you?’ The other said: ‘I came because my daughter has started cello lessons.’ 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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