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Worst Joke Ever 2024


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12 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Ran into my old mate Dave the other day, poor lad has only got one arm .

” where you off to “ I said .

” off to change a lightbulb “ he replied 

“ that’s gonna be a bit awkward  “ I said laughing 

“ easy “ he replied “ still got the receipt “.

 

Moral of the story:

If someone doesn’t get the joke , don’t explain it ...... 3 1/2 miles he chased me with that stick !!

On the other hand!

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Contrived record introduction.

Fred was having a hard time selling his ice cream ,business was not good ,so he had a word with a mate in advertising ,thinking that would help, his mate said it is your jingle.

Now Fred was proud of his jingle he had been using it ever sine he brought the ice cream van, what he was even more proud of, was the ice cream van, old Commer van ,the only one in the area, which he cleaned every day, people would comment on his van.

But, things must change ,so he went and brought a new jingle ,and low and behold business pick up ,and he was well happy, his wife said, you are doing well, what was the reason, Fred said "Van fair for the Commer van "

with apologies to ELP, Emerson, Lake and Palmer.  

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A journalist wants to write an article about the life of Welsh farmers...
When he finds one, amidst the questions he asks: "What was the best day of your life?"

The farmer answers:" One day we lost a sheep. We looked everywhere, and when we finally found her, we wanted to celebrate, so we had sex with her!".

The journalist is taken aback, he can't really write that on his article, so he thanks the farmer and moves on to the next one.

After the usual questions he comes again to the "best day of your life" question, but the second farmer's answer is remarkably similar to the first one's, and he can't really write about finding lost sheep and shagging them in his article, so he asks a third farmer.

The third farmer answers the same thing, and so does the fourth, and the fifth, and the sixth, and so on. The journalist explodes and says:" That's it, I'm done with losing and screwing sheep, I need an other question for my piece and I'm gonna get it!".
So he walks up to an other farmer, plants his feet down, looks him in the eyes and asks:" What was the WORST day of your life?". The farmer recoils for a moment, his eyes get teary and, in a whisper, he starts:

 

 

"I got lost..."

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