Worst Joke Ever 2021

[fangless 5352]

One evening Father passed his daughter's bedroom and heard her saying her prayers. Smiling to himself, he stopped to listen and heard her say, "God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandpa, bye bye Grandma."

 

"How odd," thought Father, but he didn't want his daughter to know he'd been listening so he didn't say anything to her. But, tragically, the next day Grandma collapsed and died. A few months went by and one evening Father heard his daughter praying again.

"God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, bye bye Grandpa."

 

"No, it can't mean anything," thought Father apprehensively, but the very next morning they received a telegram to say that Grandpa had passed away in his sleep.

The household got back to normal and almost a year passed before father heard his daughter again.

"God bless Mummy, bye bye Daddy."

 

Absolutely panic-stricken, Father stayed up all night, too frightened to sleep in case he didn't wake up. The next morning he walked to work instead of taking the car, in case there was an accident, and spent the day at his desk doing very little but worrying. When he got home that evening he collapsed into a chair, his nerves in pieces, and told his wife all about the nightmare day that he'd had.

 

She replied, "You think you've had a bad day! This morning when I opened the front door I found the milkman dead on the front doorstep."

[roo860 10243]

[roo860 10243]

[fangless 5352]

It was cold and pouring with rain, but the boy's mother insisted he go and feed the animals on their free-holding before he could have breakfast.

The boy went out in a dark rage, kicked the chickens, punched the cow and threw water all over the pigs.

When he got back inside his mother was furious.

"How dare you!" she fumed.

"For that you get no eggs because you kicked the chickens, no milk because you thumped the cow and no bacon because of the way you treated the pigs."

 

Just then, Dad came down the stairs and, nearly tripping over the cat, he gave the animal a mighty kick. The boy turned to his mother and said,

 

"Are you going to tell him or shall I?"
 

[fangless 5352]

[fangless 5352]

[fangless 5352]

[sanuk711 11326]

[sanuk711 11326]

[sanuk711 11326]

[sanuk711 11326]

                 Stars of the 80s (tho sure some pedantic <deleted>

                                             will say they started in the 70s!)

 

[sanuk711 11326]

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[sanuk711 11326]

[roo860 10243]

[roo860 10243]

[roo860 10243]

[roo860 10243]

[roo860 10243]

[tomazbodner 3916]

[sanuk711 11326]

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                    Teach your children the true meaning of Easter.

 

[sanuk711 11326]

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[sanuk711 11326]

[ravip 5784]

An optimist and a pessimist were riding a bus together when the optimist got hungry.

"Let's stop at the next restaurant," said the optimist. "Then we can take the next bus and continue our journey."

 

"I don't think that's a good idea," said the pessimist. "It could cause something bad to happen."

"Or it could cause something good to happen," replied the optimist, "and besides, I'm hungry!"

So the two of them left the bus and went into the restaurant.

 

While they were eating, a news report came on the TV.

"A bus was crushed in an avalanche fifteen minutes ago," said the reporter. "Everyone on the bus was killed." The optimist and the pessimist recognized the bus as the one they had gotten off.

 

"See?" said the optimist. "I told you something good would happen if we got off the bus!"

 

"Good?" sputtered the pessimist. "If the bus hadn't stopped to let us off, it might have missed the avalanche!"

[sanuk711 11326]

[sanuk711 11326]