Popular Post sanuk711 11424 Posted April 3 Popular Post Share Posted April 3 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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ravip 5881 Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 A pastor is on a plane when the man next to him strikes up a conversation. After some pleasantries, the pastor says, "I'm flying across the country raising money for my parish. I've been performing small miracles hoping people will donate money to me. You see, I ask the Lord to provide a person's favorite food on the spot. My best luck is with college grads who are nostalgic for their time in school and the food takes them back. They're so happy they give very generously!" The man is skeptical of the pastor's claims and figures that, on a plane with limited options, there's no way the pastor could come up with his favorite food on the spot. "OK, well, I went to Temple University in Philadelphia and my favorite food is cheesesteak. Let's see you conjure one for me now." The pastor lowers his head and whispers a prayer. "Dear Lord, please bestow on this man the food he desires, a Temple Cheesesteak." Before he can lift his head, a bright light fills the cabin and a cheesesteak appears on the man's tray table! It's overstuffed with perfectly-cooked meat, peppers seared but still juicy, and the best-smelling fried onions the man had ever encountered. And the cheese was a perfect blend of more cheeses than could be counted. Grilled into the roll was the Temple University logo. The man was floored and, after taking a bite that took him right back to his college days, offered the pastor $100. As you can imagine, this scene got the attention of the other passengers, who started lining up in the aisle to test the pastor themselves. Next up was a woman who went to Northwestern University in Chicago who wanted a deep dish pizza. Sure enough, the pastor prayed and there appeared a perfectly-baked pizza with stringy cheese, amazing sauce, and the Northwestern logo made of pepperoni on top. The pastor said "Enjoy your Northwestern Pizza!" The woman was so impressed she emptied her wallet in the pastor's lap. After the Northwestern woman was a man who had just graduated from the University of Mississippi. He told the pastor, "When I was in school at Ole Miss, I used to go every Friday to this family restaurant off campus and get a ribeye. They were so perfectly grilled, so juicy, so delicious, that I worked three jobs just to be able to afford them every week. Now that I've graduated, I can't find beef like that anywhere. Can you give me a ribeye like I used to have?" The pastor sighed and said, "I'm sorry, but I can't. God doesn't make Miss Steaks." 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popular Post sanuk711 11424 Posted April 3 Popular Post Share Posted April 3 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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ballpoint 19054 Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 A policeman sees a couple cycling along on a tandem, and then sees the bloke cycling it alone later that same day. He races after the guy, pulls him over, and says he thinks the guy's wife may have fallen off the back. "Oh thank goodness for that" says the cyclist. Surprised by the response, the policeman asks him to explain himself. "I thought I'd gone deaf" replies the guy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popular Post ballpoint 19054 Posted April 3 Popular Post Share Posted April 3 My girlfriend said that she wasn't very comfortable performing oral sex... So I bought her a pillow to kneel on! 2 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Popular Post ballpoint 19054 Posted April 3 Popular Post Share Posted April 3 Two police officers knock on the door of a man’s house. “Is this your wife?” they ask, holding up a photo. “Yes”, replies the man. “Well, I’m afraid it looks like she’s been hit by a bus,” they say. “Well, yes,” says the man, “but she’s got a lovely personality. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popular Post ballpoint 19054 Posted April 3 Popular Post Share Posted April 3 What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colour anymore? A reptile dysfunction. 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popular Post ballpoint 19054 Posted April 3 Popular Post Share Posted April 3 My friend lost his ear in an accident and had to have a pigs ear transplanted on. I asked him if it was working ok. He said, "It's fine apart from a bit of crackling!" 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Popular Post ballpoint 19054 Posted April 3 Popular Post Share Posted April 3 Tampax are releasing a limited edition, egg shaped tampon... It's for the Easter period only 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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Popular Post sanuk711 11424 Posted April 3 Popular Post Share Posted April 3 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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Popular Post tomazbodner 4181 Posted April 3 Popular Post Share Posted April 3 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites
metisdead 9168 Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 Moderators Notice. Whilst we appreciate the majority of users here may be adults, the forum is accessible to everyone. Please ensure that any content you post is therefore suitable for ALL ages and do not post "Adult Only" content. This includes not to post videos or images containing profane language. It will be removed and the poster may face a suspension. 8.) You will not post disruptive or inflammatory messages, vulgarities, obscenities or profanities. Thank you for your co- operation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popular Post fangless 5683 Posted April 3 Popular Post Share Posted April 3 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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Popular Post fangless 5683 Posted April 3 Popular Post Share Posted April 3 A man goes back into the vet's to collect his dog after a minor surgery. "Say, 'Aaah...' " says the vet. "Why?" asks the man. "Because your dog's just died on the operating table." 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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