Worst Joke Ever 2021

[fangless 5636]

A man went to the pet shop to buy a parrot but the only one on offer cost £500.

"Why is it so expensive?" he asked.

"Ah, well, it's a very special parrot, it lays square eggs," said the pet shop owner.

"How very odd. OK, I'll take it, but just one thing “ does it talk?"

"Well, it can do, but up to now all I've heard it say is 'Aaagh, oooh, b^gger...' "
 

[roo860 10517]

[roo860 10517]

[roo860 10517]

[fangless 5636]

The down-and-out man had spent his morning begging from street to street. He hadn't done very well and was just about to give up when he noticed a very posh woman walking up the private road to her mansion.

"Excuse me, madam," he said as politely as possible. "Can you spare a bob or two?"

"I'll do better than that," she said. "How are you with a paint brush?"

"Erm, OK, I suppose," he replied, puzzled.

"Good, there's a can of orange paint here. If you paint the porch round the back, then I'll pay you a decent day's wages."

The tramp disappeared and nothing was seen of him for the next three hours when he reappeared with an empty can.

"All finished?" she asked.

"It is," he replied, "but just one thing," he added helpfully.

 

"It's actually a Ferrari round the back, not a Porsche but I agree all these fancy sports cars look the same to many people."
 

[fangless 5636]

"Come on, girl," whispered the boastful man to the beautiful girl after a few drinks. "How about coming back to my place and letting me give you nine inches?"

"No, thanks," she replied.

 

"I don't think you've got the energy to get it up three times."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 3 by fangless

[fangless 5636]

The young girl couldn't believe her luck when her flashy boss took her out to dinner. They wined and dined at the most expensive restaurant in town and then went back to his penthouse apartment. Later, in bed, he turned to her and said, "What would you do if you found you were pregnant?"

"Oh, the shame. I could never tell my parents. I'd kill myself," she replied.

"Good girl, that's what I like to hear," he said happily.
 

[fangless 5636]

A wife is so distressed at her husband's excessive drinking that she decides to try and scare him into stopping. After pub closing time that night, she waits for him in the church graveyard, crouched down behind one of the tombstones. Sure enough, he takes the short cut home and as he staggers past her, she jumps up in full devil's costume and shouts, "Beware, beware, Arthur Chivers, carry on drinking as you are, and you'll soon be joining me down below!"

"What!" he exclaimed, somewhat befuddled, "who are you?"

"I am the devil himself!" she boomed.

The drunk began to smile and held out his hand in greeting.

"Well, I never," he says,

 

"you'll know me then, I'm married to your sister."
 

[sanuk711 11417]

[fangless 5636]

I think I might be about to be scammed but I am too sheepish to respond now!

I saw this advert
"Ride on lawn mower, only one year old, mint condition!  £750.  ONO!

I asked for a Photo and this is what I got;

 

 

 

 

 

[sanuk711 11417]

[sanuk711 11417]

[sanuk711 11417]

[sanuk711 11417]

[sanuk711 11417]

 

                Thailand----- Problem solved.

 

Edited April 3 by sanuk711

[sanuk711 11417]

[sanuk711 11417]

[sanuk711 11417]

[Hamus Yaigh 872]

[Hamus Yaigh 872]

[Hamus Yaigh 872]

[tifino 9249]

"You're so out of your league... "

 

 

 

[tifino 9249]

"Holey Masks Batman!!" 

 

 

[tifino 9249]

"Holey Hepa jeepers masks Batman!!" 

 

 

 

[roo860 10517]

[tifino 9249]

Holey one mile high masks batman!

[sanuk711 11417]

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[sanuk711 11417]

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[sanuk711 11417]

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[sanuk711 11417]

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