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"How many Thai Visa members does it take to change a light bulb?" One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed. Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing

An Amish family decides to go to New York for the first Time in their lives; Mother, Father and their son.   They go into the Empire State Building. As they're walking around they notice the

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Well booger.. I think my licence might be in jeopardy.. 
and all just because of a stupid Hwy Patrol...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over on my bike:
Cop: "LicenCe and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"
Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."
Cop: "Ok' let's do a little test!

 - Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance; What is this?"
Me: "A car."
Cop:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"
Me:"I have no idea!"
Cop:"So, you're drunk."
Me:"But I didn't drink anything."
‎Cop:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you. What is it?‎
Me:"A motorcycle."
Cop:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"
Me:"I have no idea!"
Cop:"As I suspected, you're drunk!"


Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.
Me: "So... counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?"
Cop:"A prostitute of course."
Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?"
Things sorta went downhill from there, and now I have a court date to attend... 

 

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Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.

She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned

"I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?

 

They send me a BLIND policeman!"

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A burglar entered a bedroom, tied up the husband and wife, kissed the wife's ear and went to the bathroom..

The husband said to the wife "Satisfy him or he will kill us, be strong. I love you"

Wife said "He didn't kiss me, he whispered in my ear that he is gay, he needs Vaseline and i told him it's in the bathroom."

"So be strong, I love you too and always will even.........."

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