scottiejohn 8,127 Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites
Lacessit 23,347 Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites
Lacessit 23,347 Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites
Lacessit 23,347 Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 New Zealand folk song We three kings of Orient are One on a tractor, two in a car One on a scooter Tooting his hooter Following yonder star Oh, oh Star of wonder Star of light Star of bewdy, she'll be right Star of glory, that's the story Following yonder star . .. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonah Tenner 577 Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites
billd766 26,705 Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 39 minutes ago, Lacessit said: New Zealand folk song We three kings of Orient are One on a tractor, two in a car One on a scooter Tooting his hooter Following yonder star Oh, oh Star of wonder Star of light Star of bewdy, she'll be right Star of glory, that's the story Following yonder star . .. The one I remember was We four Beatles of Liverpool are, Paul in a taxi, John in a car, George on a scooter, beeping his hooter, Following Ringo Star. Link to post Share on other sites
chickenslegs 13,791 Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites
chickenslegs 13,791 Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 What kind of motor bike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson. How did Scrooge score a winning goal? The ghost of Christmas passed. Why did no-one bid for Blitzen and Rudolph on eBay? Because they were two deer. What is Good King Wenceslaus's favourite pizza? One that is deep-pan, crisp and even. What prize did Frosty the Snowman win? Best in snow. How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents. Link to post Share on other sites
scottiejohn 8,127 Posted December 11, 2018 Share Posted December 11, 2018 What does Donald Trump do after he pulls a cracker? Pays her off. Why is Theresa May encouraging board games at Christmas? Because she's trying to bring back Chequers (*1) Why has Debenhams been forced to cancel its Christmas nativity play? No prophet (*2) What does Philip Green buy former employees for Christmas? Their silence (*3) When do sheep practise their new dance? While shepherds watched them floss by night. What's the difference between the Love Island villa and the stable where Jesus was born? The stable has had some wise men in it. Why does Kim Kardashian hate Christmas so much? She's always the butt of the Christmas cracker jokes What is Meghan buying Harry, William and Charles for Christmas? Suits Why was everyone hungover after Roxanne Pallett's Christmas party? She misjudged the strength of the punch Why did Donald Trump invite Kanye West round to help with his Christmas presents? Because Kanye is Trump's favourite wrapper What's the biggest complaint about Network Rail's Christmas seasoning? They keep changing the thyme (*4) Why has Boris Johnson bought mistletoe this year? Because he's tired of being in the single market (Brexit connection) What's the only thing that goes on longer than Christmas? Harry and Meghan's wedding preacher What did Banksy serve with his Christmas turkey? Shred sauce Who won the North Pole Love Island? Dani Deer NOTES FOR NON BRITS (*1) Brexit agreement AKA Chequers agreement in an earlier version (*2) (Debenhams has gone bankrupt(ish) (*3) Green is accused of sexual harassment of his staff and paying for silence ala Trump (*4) New Railway timetable fiasco Link to post Share on other sites
chickenslegs 13,791 Posted December 11, 2018 Share Posted December 11, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites
chickenslegs 13,791 Posted December 11, 2018 Share Posted December 11, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites
Daffy D 2,079 Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites
chickenslegs 13,791 Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites
chickenslegs 13,791 Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites
scottiejohn 8,127 Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites
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