The baaad Christmas jokes thread - old, new, recycled we don't care, they just have to be bad!

[scottiejohn 8,085]

Q. How do you know Santa has to be a man?
Ans. No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year.
Q. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
Ans. You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q. What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Ans. Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !
Q. What do you give a train driver for Christmas ?
Ans. Platform shoes !
Q. What did the big candle say to the little candle ?
Ans. I'm going out tonight !

Q. What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snowman? 
A. Frostbite. 

Q. What do Snowmen call their offspring? 
A. Chill-dren. 

Q. Where do Snowmen go to dance? 
A. To snowballs. 
 

[scottiejohn 8,085]

[scottiejohn 8,085]

How do you know Santa is good at karate? He has a black belt!

What do you call an old snowman? Water.

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet.

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing - it was on the house!

What does Santa say at the start of a race? Ready, set, Ho! Ho! Ho!

Where do snowmen keep money? In a snow bank.

What type of cars do elves drive? Toy-otas.

Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman? Because he is so cool!

What do you call a cat on Christmas Eve? Sandy Claws.

[scottiejohn 8,085]

[scottiejohn 8,085]

[scottiejohn 8,085]

[scottiejohn 8,085]

[jvs 5,300]

Sorry ,no xmas this year.

 

[scottiejohn 8,085]

[scottiejohn 8,085]

[scottiejohn 8,085]

[scottiejohn 8,085]

[scottiejohn 8,085]

HOW A SCOTSMAN  LIKE ME GETS HIS YARD CLEARED AND PAID FOR IT

 

 

[Andrew Dwyer 13,988]

[chickenslegs 13,086]