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mikehongpark

Married to Thai girl, found out she's cheating while USA green card/visa is in process

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Hello All,

I met my wife 3.5 years ago in Myrtle Beach, SC USA during her work/study abroad, while I was on vacation. She is an engineering graduate and have been working as an engineer for the last 2 years. We got married (in Thailand) 11 months ago, in order to get the green card paperwork started. We had a small ceremony/reception with just her side of the family in Feb 2018. I've vested $150,000+ dollars since we met: on vacations, gifts, airfares, Sin Sod, 24K golds, and the wedding costs last year. Yes, I was stupid and flashed my money on my 1st visit to meet her in Thailand 3 years ago, and took her to 4 different countries and gave her a few gifts. Stupid as stupid goes, and lesson learned.

 

The 2nd wedding reception which will be an American style wedding in Thailand and is scheduled for next month and we were planning to have babies once her green card/visa is approved. I currently have 30+ confirmed flight bookings to BKK for my wedding. We met in Europe last month for a 2 weeks vacation and returned to our respective countries. However, today I confirmed that she has cheated on me. She has  admitted to cheating (only after I had indisputable proof) then blamed the long distance and not having anyone to talk to during stressful times, as we have a 13 hour time difference and we are both working. She has cried over the phone and has been apologetic, but it can be just an attempt to hold on to the better life. During our relationship, I had plenty of chances to have other women, but I always did the right thing. I just turned 48 and I have never cheated on a significant other and plan to keep it that way.

 

Ironically, the National Visa Center just sent an approval email to proceed yesterday. I have thoroughly enjoyed my life as a single man and have travelled all over the world, but decided that it is time to settle down and have kids. I am 48 and she is 26 and I really want to have kids and feel that I might lose the chance to have kids if I move on as I don't want to have kid after 50 yo. Don't want to be the grandpa/dad, even though I know that I can be one of the best dad. I know that I must move on, as the trust have been lost.  But, I ask myself, can the trust be regained? 

 

I have the choice to move on or give her a chance, but I'm so confused and feeling pretty pathetic right now.

1) Move On:

* I must notify 30+ friends with confirmed flights to Thailand. 

* Fear of not having kids.

* Not sure if I will find a companion to have kids with, within a year.

* A lot of money has been vested into this relationship

* Have to divorce, before ever having to cohabitate with the wife

* Do I ask her to give me the 20 1 Liter bottles of Johnnie Walker Gold Reserve that was accumulated for the wedding next month or just move on?

 

2) Give her a chance:

* Start working on having kids this year.

* Will take time to earn my trust.

* Relationship will be rocky for a while, at least until she gives me the gift of a child as the love for a child will change all mindsets.

 

Any advice will be appreciated, as I am trying to weigh in on the good and the bad. I am hoping that I get both female and male responses for a different perspective. I'm leaning towards moving on.

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