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BANGKOK 24 February 2019 12:35

I'm scared of having kids

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I know I joke around a lot on these forums but I've got a small problem I can't really talk to anyone about. 

I'm terrified of having kids.

I'm 41 and my wife is approaching her mid 30s. I've been in Thailand and we've been married for almost 3 years. We've known each other for probably over 10 years so I feel pretty stable in our relationship and we're doing ok financially.

But I see how happy she is when she is around kids. Her friends and colleagues keep having babies and worse, they keep asking us when we are having a baby. I am aware due to our ages we can't afford to leave it too much longer if we are going to raise a child.

I have some real reservations about it.

For one, when I hear a baby crying or screaming it's like nails on a chalkboard.

Secondly, I worry how we can raise a child given that we both work full time. My wife is a teacher and although I work from home I have to concentrate on my job during the day. Her mother she said she would help out but she is old and I don't want to burden her. Her neighbours and her cousins in the next village offered to help too so I know we'd have no shortage of babysitters and I know that's how things are done here but I'm not entirely comfortable leaving it up to other people.

We also live in a house that my wifes school provided and the director is great, he said we can stay here for as long as we want but I've told my wife I want us to have our own house before we have kids. I asked her to ask around and find out if there is any land for sale nearby however this was over 12 months ago and nothing has happened, which to be honest, I'm not in any great hurry to build. But I think we should get that sorted out first.

Her mother said she will give us some land to build on but it's right next to her house and to be frank, I'm happier having a couple of km between us. There's nothing wrong with her, I just like doing my own thing. 

I help out at my wifes school and her friends school occasionally, just to talk and play games with the students to get them comfortable speaking English and I've found the kids are good in small doses. When I've had to teach all day I've come home with a massive headache and a promise to myself never to do that again. 

So I don't know what the point of this post is. I guess I just want to get it out, maybe hear from other people who have raised kids in Thailand about what their experiences have been like, any challenges they've faced, how their life is now etc..



Edited by akirasan
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