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BANGKOK 21 February 2019 13:36

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just set your budget at a number you are very comfortable with and stick with it. 

 

if the demands for money get uncomfortable then leave.

 

remember she is under a lot of pressure from her parents to bring in money.

 

if you leave if is her responsibility. 

Edited by NCC1701A
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Thanks yes she dose speak English. met her in Lamai. and does not ask for any thing for self .and she has not ask for nothing for her self.


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My story was not that different to yours when I first got into my current relationship.  I don't want to make public what happened, except to say it wasn't infidelity, extortion, family being controlling or any of that stuff.

 

We're still together, and after correcting some misalignments I can honestly say after 9 years she's the best thing in relationships that's ever happened to me, and I've had some good ones.

 

I would suggest assess the family first, as that is what will give her the nature/nurture bias.  They can have enormous control over them, implied or explicit.  If they are genuine then you're most of the way home (assuming you're a decent person also).

What I did was test for gold digging tendencies.  Many different ways, and whether she's naturally that way or I've taught her, I don't know, perhaps a bit of both, but the family (when they were alive) were grateful for 5K a month (she had 20K, then zero but open access to cash, and some other variants as I was learning - these days I give her zero monthly, but make sure she has a chunk in the bank, as it gives her a feeling of security and independence, but interestingly makes her extremely frugal when it's her own money.  That could be a 'pro tip' as it'll sort the women from the kids, and you get to fail early before investing heart/mind and of course cash) ...as it was more than any other offspring could offer the grandparents, and the grandparents used it to pay for their funerals (200K each I think), as they didn't want to be a burden.  I covered everything asked of me, but that everything was pretty modest to be honest the way it turned out.

I honestly believe that if we were to break up, she would stay alone for the rest of her life, and is closer to her dogs than she is obligated to family siblings.  Don't want to make her sound like some weird 'cat lady', she's in demand, sociable, my friends adore her for the most part (exceptions being those that are aligned with me, so if she's good for me then they're happy, others would be the other way around 🙂 ).

I know I'm just talking me, me, me, but perhaps you can see a version of your situation in that.

 

Yes it does exist (genuine people in a good relationship).  Language and culture I don't mess with too mut, we just each create our boundaries and don't over step.  So it's a fairly shallow relationship in some ways, and concrete in others, but if you're not needy but want teamwork, you can hit the jackpot quite a lot easier than expected.  Better to stay away from tourist traps and rentable fun, but even there I've seen people have success stories.  So long as you're honest with yourself, it kind of jolts everything else in your domain into alignment and to be honest with you too.  If it works better for them when being selfish means it is also in alignment with the group success as well, that disincentivises the "51% attack".

 

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